Jan. 8th, 2017

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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal said:                                                                     

To take things a different tack, how do you think Credence feels in the Dumbledore Scamander AU? He’s probably happier then he’s ever been before when he and his sisters are taken in and then adopted by Newt, Tina, and the real Graves. His Obscurus is under control, he’s learning magic, Ma is gone…but then Grindelwald makes himself known again. And now, because Newt adopted Credence, now they’re family too….            

I’m just going to answer these two posts together…

And yes. That’s a connection I didn’t consider before, but Credence would absolutely have experience with terrible parents, and how they do not define who and what you are. He was the first victim of Grindelwald’s heavy-handed ‘affection’ - he knows the mind games the man plays, he knows how he pries open a corner of your heart and floods it with sweet venom, he knows. He probably has a better idea then any of them about exactly what Newt and Theseus are going through - especially after he learns that he’s their blood-father.

Actually, taking everything into account - Credence may be something of a help to Albus as well. 

When Grindelwald reappears - Credence is panicking. There’s no ifs ands or buts about it - this is his worst nightmare come to life, this is everyones worst nightmare. He’s having flashbacks of Grindelgraves, how he deliberately turned Credence’s soul inside-up and upside-down, for his own benefit - how Grindelwald hurt him, clinically, ruthlessly, in pursuit of his goals.

And this time. This time, it would be so much worse. Because now - now Credence is Newt’s family. Which to Grindelwald’s mind, means that Credence - and his sisters, and his unborn cousin - is his. Credence has heard Graves and Newt screaming in their sleep far too many times to think that is anything even resembling acceptable. He was there when Graves and the twins were rescued, he saw what conditino they were in…
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This is likely. Especially if he foresaw his death at Voldemort’s hands. 

Do you think, with all those years alone to think of what he’s done, that he feels guilty about what he did to them? What he put them through? 

The seventh book did say he started to feel remorse…..
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Reblog and you’ll find money soon!

Yes.

Also weird I reblobbed the other money one last night and a freelance check I invoiced for a month ago came in.

reblobbed

seriously have nothing to lose

Did it once might as well let it stack. At least I’m not buying loto tickets

You guys, I reblogged this 2 days ago out of desperation. Today I was looking through my old wallet for coins to go to the vending machine because that’s all I can fucking afford. I haven’t touched this thing since July/ August. When I found a disappointing 15 cents in the coin pocket I went to the billfold to see if any coins were in there. That’s when I saw them. 5 crisp bills amounting to $22. I literally screamed and danced around my room out of joy before remembering that I’d reblogged this post.

Tl;dr - This post is fucking magical and actually worked for me.

I’m broke as fuck. Money gods pls send me like 100k.

I never reblog these, let’s give it a shot.
BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY

I reblogged this last week and withing an hour I got a client after a month of silence! Literally gave me money to eat for the rest of the month.

Crazy enough but my mom randomly gave me 200 dollars after I reblogged one of these the other day…

Amen

Reblobbed.

I have a theory that these posts actually gather energy from the wishes of people who reblog them and that’s why they work. Plus, yanno, they get passed around by witches…a lot. :)

Money money money

Might as well. Happy Friday!

I reblogged something like this and my mom gave me $100 in my Christmas stocking :)
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Hi I did more work on my dragon today. I”m really pleased with how she’s coming along. *dances happily in place*

Holy mother

OMG this is gorgeous. So beautiful.

@dravanian

SWEET BABY JESUS IN HIS TINY UNDERPANTS!
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………….FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK. (BEGINS TO WEEP)

That also reminds me of the poem about almost being the saddest word as well. He almost changed. He almost stopped. They were almost a family.

Almost.
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This is likely. Especially if he foresaw his death at Voldemort’s hands. 

Do you think, with all those years alone to think of what he’s done, that he feels guilty about what he did to them? What he put them through? 

The seventh book did say he started to feel remorse…..
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Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck
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I bet Grindelwald treats them very much like he treated Credence - almost casual contact, violating every single inch of their personal space, making it up close and personal - so they can’t, literally can’t avoid him. Almost condescending, heavy-handed touches - and after Theseus tries to bite his fingers off/Newt flinches back with a pitiful cry one too many times, I bet he locks the twin in question in a full body-bind so they can’t escape.

Both twins probably want to scrub their skin off after every interaction. They hug each other fiercely, and hug Graves fiercely, and - that helps.

Mama and Papa Scamander are indeed freaking the fuck out. Their babies have been captured by a Dark Lord - their babies defied said Dark Lord, and Grindelwald has a tract record of not taking defiance well. Mama and Papa Scamander have been taken into protective custody, and the worst part is, they don’t know the whole story. They have no idea of the relationship the twins have with the Dumbledores - Albus probably simply approached them years ago, telling them about a pair of orphaned newborns who needed a good home, could you…?
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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!
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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.
rakasha: (Default)
via http://ift.tt/2j4nVNx:
stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”
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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.
rakasha: (Default)
via http://ift.tt/2jgFp8u:
stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”
rakasha: (Default)
via http://ift.tt/2i3BTh1:
stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

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hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”
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After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”

….Oh no, we made it sad again.

Not really. Because this is progress! At least to Grindelwald’s mind; it’s the first time Albus has voluntarily spoken to him in decades! Even if it was via Howler.

“ALBUS, I LOVE YOU.” It’s the only thing the next Howler says.

…meanwhile, Newt is gushing about wedding plans with Theseus, and the’re happily discussing the possibility of finally meeting their birth-father?
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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”

….Oh no, we made it sad again.

Not really. Because this is progress! At least to Grindelwald’s mind; it’s the first time Albus has voluntarily spoken to him in decades! Even if it was via Howler.

“ALBUS, I LOVE YOU.” It’s the only thing the next Howler says.

…meanwhile, Newt is gushing about wedding plans with Theseus, and the’re happily discussing the possibility of finally meeting their birth-father?

Pfft, oh Grindelwald. 

He probably makes a point of sending it where Albus hears it in private. See, Albus, he’s listening! (And making a point of finding out who these enemies are and making sure that they never, ever, ever come near Newt or Theseus or their families). 

That’s adorable. I wonder how they feel when they find out in this AU. Hell, how did Graves feel when Grindelwald let him go? 

Grindelwald probably declares a one-man vendetta against Albus’ enemies, and goes after them with extreme prejudice. And sends his letters and gifts to Albus in private - he’s willing to change, he’s trying.

Grindelwald probably sends them a letter sheepishly confessing that he’s an internationally-wanted criminal (he doesn’t give his name) but he’s trying to do better! He really is! He just - doesn’t want the twins to have a criminal for a father, he’s trying to make himself someone better, first. (Newt honestly probably doesn’t really care - he has a disturbingly casual relationship to legality, sometimes, and probably thinks that his blood-father is most likely some kind of smuggler.)

Graves was annoyed. And perplexed at why Grindelwald healed him, let him go, and even apologized to him before handing him a scroll with all the details of every single traitor and incompetent who managed to sneak into MACUSA…
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The other twin probably shows up at the bottom of the ladder leading into the case, glaring up at their erstwhile blood-parent. “He’s sick.” They explain, eyes bloodshot, a soft, wordless keen echoing in their heart - because Graves told them, he’s told them what he’s seen Grindelwald do to the people who he felt defied him. 

Grindelwald frowns down at the for a long moment before smiling. Very well. He’ll just take Director Graves instead. Send him up, would you please?
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After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”

….Oh no, we made it sad again.

Not really. Because this is progress! At least to Grindelwald’s mind; it’s the first time Albus has voluntarily spoken to him in decades! Even if it was via Howler.

“ALBUS, I LOVE YOU.” It’s the only thing the next Howler says.

…meanwhile, Newt is gushing about wedding plans with Theseus, and the’re happily discussing the possibility of finally meeting their birth-father?

Pfft, oh Grindelwald. 

He probably makes a point of sending it where Albus hears it in private. See, Albus, he’s listening! (And making a point of finding out who these enemies are and making sure that they never, ever, ever come near Newt or Theseus or their families). 

That’s adorable. I wonder how they feel when they find out in this AU. Hell, how did Graves feel when Grindelwald let him go? 

Grindelwald probably declares a one-man vendetta against Albus’ enemies, and goes after them with extreme prejudice. And sends his letters and gifts to Albus in private - he’s willing to change, he’s trying.

Grindelwald probably sends them a letter sheepishly confessing that he’s an internationally-wanted criminal (he doesn’t give his name) but he’s trying to do better! He really is! He just - doesn’t want the twins to have a criminal for a father, he’s trying to make himself someone better, first. (Newt honestly probably doesn’t really care - he has a disturbingly casual relationship to legality, sometimes, and probably thinks that his blood-father is most likely some kind of smuggler.)

Graves was annoyed. And perplexed at why Grindelwald healed him, let him go, and even apologized to him before handing him a scroll with all the details of every single traitor and incompetent who managed to sneak into MACUSA…

Good job, Gellert. Now that is a way to woo Albus. 

Oh, Newt. Theseus, well, after thinking it over, decides he’s okay with it too. And probably thinks he’s a smuggler or something like Newt does.

Graves is so fucking confused. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t. Obviously Grindelwald is even more insane then people believed. 

After all the angst - I really needed this.

Respecting Albus’ wishes? Protecting his children? (He’s probably going after Theseus’ enemies as well). Yes, that’s definitely a start. Gellert is also probably trying to sneak ‘I love you’ into every single communication he has with his ex; he also starts - moderating his gifts. Downgrading from expensive German chocolates to a nice tea set, things like that - more personal gifts, gifts Albus actually likes.

Grindelwald also probably hasn’t told the twins much about their other birth-parent - Theseus and Newt know that the individual gave them up to try and keep them safe, and that their birth-father thinks that it’s their other blood-parent’s story to tell. Also, while he’s at it, Grindelwald probably confesses that he - used to use Dark Magic? And he’s not anymore; it’s really amazing how much easier it is to think now that it’s not running through his veins and messing with his brain.

LOL Graves. Then again, Graves is slightly distracted - he managed to run into the Love of his Life (quite literally; he collided with the foreign wizard when he was running through the streets of New York, desperately trying to catch an escaped Erumphant). …also, all unknowingly, Graves has also been brought under Gellert’s protection; this is his future son-in-law, after all!
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After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”

….Oh no, we made it sad again.

Not really. Because this is progress! At least to Grindelwald’s mind; it’s the first time Albus has voluntarily spoken to him in decades! Even if it was via Howler.

“ALBUS, I LOVE YOU.” It’s the only thing the next Howler says.

…meanwhile, Newt is gushing about wedding plans with Theseus, and the’re happily discussing the possibility of finally meeting their birth-father?

Pfft, oh Grindelwald. 

He probably makes a point of sending it where Albus hears it in private. See, Albus, he’s listening! (And making a point of finding out who these enemies are and making sure that they never, ever, ever come near Newt or Theseus or their families). 

That’s adorable. I wonder how they feel when they find out in this AU. Hell, how did Graves feel when Grindelwald let him go? 

Grindelwald probably declares a one-man vendetta against Albus’ enemies, and goes after them with extreme prejudice. And sends his letters and gifts to Albus in private - he’s willing to change, he’s trying.

Grindelwald probably sends them a letter sheepishly confessing that he’s an internationally-wanted criminal (he doesn’t give his name) but he’s trying to do better! He really is! He just - doesn’t want the twins to have a criminal for a father, he’s trying to make himself someone better, first. (Newt honestly probably doesn’t really care - he has a disturbingly casual relationship to legality, sometimes, and probably thinks that his blood-father is most likely some kind of smuggler.)

Graves was annoyed. And perplexed at why Grindelwald healed him, let him go, and even apologized to him before handing him a scroll with all the details of every single traitor and incompetent who managed to sneak into MACUSA…

Good job, Gellert. Now that is a way to woo Albus. 

Oh, Newt. Theseus, well, after thinking it over, decides he’s okay with it too. And probably thinks he’s a smuggler or something like Newt does.

Graves is so fucking confused. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t. Obviously Grindelwald is even more insane then people believed. 

After all the angst - I really needed this.

Respecting Albus’ wishes? Protecting his children? (He’s probably going after Theseus’ enemies as well). Yes, that’s definitely a start. Gellert is also probably trying to sneak ‘I love you’ into every single communication he has with his ex; he also starts - moderating his gifts. Downgrading from expensive German chocolates to a nice tea set, things like that - more personal gifts, gifts Albus actually likes.

Grindelwald also probably hasn’t told the twins much about their other birth-parent - Theseus and Newt know that the individual gave them up to try and keep them safe, and that their birth-father thinks that it’s their other blood-parent’s story to tell. Also, while he’s at it, Grindelwald probably confesses that he - used to use Dark Magic? And he’s not anymore; it’s really amazing how much easier it is to think now that it’s not running through his veins and messing with his brain.

LOL Graves. Then again, Graves is slightly distracted - he managed to run into the Love of his Life (quite literally; he collided with the foreign wizard when he was running through the streets of New York, desperately trying to catch an escaped Erumphant). …also, all unknowingly, Graves has also been brought under Gellert’s protection; this is his future son-in-law, after all!

Pffft. Yeah, that’s a good thing, tone it down a bit there, Gellert. And, honestly, didn’t you remember one of the first things that they taught you in Durmstrang? That overuse of the Dark Arts will cloud your judgement and potentially lead you to do unspeakable things if you overuse it and let it control you? Tsk, tsk.

Newt and Theseus are actually probably proud of him for admitting that and for kicking the habit, so to speak. Theseus especially (he is head of the British DMLE) knows what overuse of Dark magic can do to a wizard and how hard it is to quit. Another good job, Gellert. You’re respecting Albus’ wishes and his privacy and right to tell the boys himself. You’re learning.

Poor Graves. Wait until he finds out. 

(Also, other kinda fluffy AU. Newt manages to save the little Sudanese girl. He adopts her. She ends up calling him Mummy too).

Grindelwald has read books! Actual books on parenting! And observed parents interacting with their children! …admittedly, he did end up sending his eldest son a quick letter about that Mary-Lou person and the Second Salemists, because - well, that’s not normal, is it? (I headcanon Grindelwald meeting Rolf before he managed to track down Credence).

Gellert probably wants to explode with happiness when he gets the letter from his sons thanking him for being so open, that can’t have been an easy thing to admit or to do, they’re so proud of him - he could probably power a Patronus on that alone; as it is, he practically floats for the rest of the day. 

Grindelwald admits to them that he was not a very nice person for a long time, that he hurt people, but he’s quit Dark Magic, he’s looking into redirecting his talents to something more legal, he’s trying to be someone they would like to have as a parent.

All Graves knows is that various long-term criminals he’s never been able to pin charges on are suddenly being delivered to the lobby of the American DMLE - a quick check with Theseus reveals that he’s also been experiencing a similar occurance.
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The other twin probably shows up at the bottom of the ladder leading into the case, glaring up at their erstwhile blood-parent. “He’s sick.” They explain, eyes bloodshot, a soft, wordless keen echoing in their heart - because Graves told them, he’s told them what he’s seen Grindelwald do to the people who he felt defied him. 

Grindelwald frowns down at the for a long moment before smiling. Very well. He’ll just take Director Graves instead. Send him up, would you please?
rakasha: (Default)
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stopthatimp:

wintersoldierfell:

listen: i am on board with Bodhi Rook, Too Good For This World, Too Pure. i am here for Bodhi Rook with Flowers Gently Braided Into His Hair. i too have felt tears well up in my eyes and softly stroked my laptop screen and whispered, “i love you” while gazing into a flickering gifset.
but like, can we also remember Bodhi Rook, inimitable badass? Bodhi Rook, just walked out of a terrifying brainwipe, guess it’s time to infiltrate an Imperial stronghold? Bodhi Rook who held his position on the ground until the last possible moment, who knew he was going to die at the hands of the empire he’d betrayed, who knew it would not be a good death, who was so pure of heart that in his last words, he dedicated his final act of resistance to someone else? OKAY I MADE MYSELF CRY. ANYWAY, MY POINT: BODHI ROOK IS BOTH A SWEET PRECIOUS FLOWER AND A TOTAL FUCKING BADASS AND I WOULD LIKE THAT TO BE REMEMBERED, PLEASE. 

I will add that I love and want emphasized that Bodhi canonically wanted to become a starfighter pilot. like, he’s a hero and a badass and a gentle anxious soul, but he also is a defector who 1) bought into the Imperial military at least enough to enlist and want a career in it, and 2) is a weird combination of low-level defector (which apparently is very common) and someone carrying some of the most valuable info in the whole damn canon. That’s a GREAT mix of traits and I want ALL OF THEM

(also, again I’m becoming Novelization Girl, but he’s referred to as ‘the coward’ several times in the novelization and I just. want more about that. A COWARD WHO CHOOSES TO BE BRAVE)
rakasha: (Default)
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stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

After our recent conversation(s) regarding repentant!Grindelwald (which, tbh, make me want to cry) my brain has decided that it is demanding a crack!verse. I would just like to preface this by saying that this IS a crack!verse, and is in no way meant to be serious.

…it starts when a stranger breezes into MACUSA, and makes an appointment to see ‘Percival Graves’. Grindelwald, upon meeting said stranger, isn’t very concerned about handling the matter – said stranger has red hair and blue eyes (not a usual combination) but he doesn’t appear to be very impressive. Not until he politely asks for ‘Graves’’ permission to ward the conversation from anyone who might possibly overhear, and then starts warding the room to hell and back – Grindelwald must admit that he’s at least slightly impressed.

Yet even he is taken aback when the stranger turns and addresses him by name. Not ‘Percival Graves’, but Gellert Grindelwald. The redhead takes advantage of Grindelwald’s precisely two seconds of shock by dropping another bombshell – he’s from the future.

…well, a future. Apparently, his wife worked it out – by coming back here and doing this, he’s creating an alternate past with its own alternate future, his own reality will simply branch off and to one side, it apparently happens all the time without people knowing it, and it’s really disconcerting to have you looking like Grandpa Percival, you know.

Anyway! His name is Rolf Scamander, and he’s Grindelwald’s great-grandson. From the future!

…a quick bit of spellwork even confirms his claims. And then Rolf lays out the situation for him.

“Albus Dumbledore was pregnant when you left,” Rolf tells Gellert. “You have two children – twins, both of them boys. Dumbledore hid them, gave them up for adoption – he knew that he had to hide them from you, he know you would use them and take then away and hurt them. And when you found out – about, oh, two months from now? – you did. You kidnapped them and you took them to Nurmengard, and you tried to force them into being your heirs. You tried to use them against Albus Dumbledore, to make him come back. And it failed.”

“You haunted the family, great-grandfather. An entire generation grew up with you as their own personal monster, ready to snatch them away and hurt them. Your granddaughters cried at the sound of your name; your grandsons were perfectly prepared to hurl themselves in front of their family and take a crucio to the chest rather then let you lay eyes on them.”

“And you lost, Great-Grandfather.”

“You lost.” Rolf tells him, and there is nothing but truth in his voice. “You lost. Your family hated you. Your sons refused to even see you; Albus Dumbledore – great-granddad couldn’t bear to kill you, so he locked you away and mourned. You spent the better part of a century locked away before you died - and you died, cold and alone and regretting everything.  You only realized that you loved them, so, so much, after you had hurt your family – you died loving them, and you worked your death into one of the greatest spells of protection this world has ever seen.”

“It saved my life,” Rolf admits, a bit red. “And I thought – I’m not doing this for you, great-grandfather. I’m doing this for my Grandpa, and my great-Uncle.” And he fixes his gaze on Gellert Grindelwald – and oh, how could Gellert not recognize those eyes?

“Even after everything you did to them,” Rolf tells him with quiet seriousness. “They found it in themselves to – not forgive you. Never forgive you. But to wish that things had been different.”

“So.” And Rolf stands. “I’m going to spontaneously snap back into my reality any minute now – that’s the way the spell works. I’m going to tell you two names, and give you a bit of advice. And, um, could you please let Grandpa Percival go? He ends up marrying your son, great-Grandpa Albus adored him, and it’s really creepy to see you wearing his face – right! Advice!” He leans forward.

“Do better.” And Rolf smiles, sweet and intense, and Gellert feels his bones turn to ice as he recognizes that smile.

“Newton Artemis Fido Scamander. And Theseus Apollo Milo Scamander.”

Rolf vanishes.

Two weeks later, Albus Dumbledore of the many middle names gets a Howler over dinner.

“ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE, HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME WE HAD CHILDREN!” (This is the point where Albus starts choking on his pumpkin juice, and every eye in the great hall snaps towards him.) ”I HAVE MISSED THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOODS, DO YOU REALISE THAT?! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH CUTE CHILDREN, THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, I MEAN. I OWE THEM ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OF BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?! THIRTY YEARS! I ACCIDENTALLY KIDNAPPED OUR YOUNGEST’S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW! I GOT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DEMOTED! CLEARLY THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED, I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW MY SONS, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A WAR! ALSO, I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVER TELL YOU BEFORE, BUT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I REALIZED THAT I’D HURT YOU, THAT I’D – THAT I’D DONE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, I’M NOT GOING TO CITE SPECIFICS OVER A GOD-DAMNED HOWLER. I’M SORRY. I KNOW IT’S NOT ENOUGH, IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH, BUT I’M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SO SO SO SORRY. I RECENTLY HAD A VISITOR SHOW ME JUST HOW MUCH OF AN EVIL BASTARD I’VE BEEN, AND I’M SO GODDAMN SORRY. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”

I told you it was a crack!verse.

This is beautiful and I love it and I don’t have anything really to add to it so I’m just going to post it so everyone can see it all its glory.

(I do imagine Horace kinda awkwardly patting him on the back, though)

The world is saved due to outside influences kicking Gellert Grindelwald’s long-buried parenting instincts and Romantic Soul™ into High Gear. Newt is rather puzzled at whoever’s leaving him all these presents - but they’re useful and rather nice, so he isn’t complaining! Also, his Mysterious Friend was directly responsible for him meeting Percival Graves and Tina Goldstein, and he - he really likes them? A lot? So thank you, Mr. Mysterious!

Theseus, in turn, is Very Happy with all the Dark Wizards who are literally being delivered to him wrapped up like Christmas presents. They eve have little bows in their hair, see!

Brb, rolling on the floor laughing. 

The mystery continues to unfold - it turns out that Newt’s Mr. Mysterious is actually his birth-Father! Well, one of them - the most recent letter (filled with helpful advice about what Not To Do in Romantic Relationships) revealed that the man hadn’t know he had children until very recently. His birth-father also was having a number of problems with impulse control and his temper, and he refused to meet Newt face-to-face until he managed to sort out his issues, he isn’t going to risk accidentally hurting him. In the meantime, he hopes that Newt enjoys this Antipodean Opaleye egg.

…meanwhile, Theseus is practically glowing. His own letter from the man who is (presumably) his birth-Father contains a number of very helpful instructions on a series of Exceptionally Nasty Curses, information about the local Dark Wizard movement, suggestions on how to enact a set of Magical Beast Protection Statutes into existence (’Newt would love them’) and blackmail, glorious, glorious blackmail on his best friend’s relationship with his little brother.

…Albus, in turn, is receiving flowers, chocolates, jewelry, rare books, and whatever else Gellert can think of. In huge quantities.

Everyone see this? This is beautiful, beautiful crack and I love it.

All hail Rolf Scamander. He truly was doing the Lord’s work.

It’s getting to the point where the other professors are giving Albus sympathetic looks. On the other hand, this is the most exciting thing to happen to the student body in ages - girls sigh over the huge, ornate presents that arrive at the Head Table practically every morning. There are fierce arguments over whether or not Professor Dumbledore should take his Ex back, or make him grovel (whoever it is is practically already doing that, someone points out) - every eye is fixed on him during lessons, and Albus has never before had classes that hang on his every word quite like this.

Every eye is transfigured by the next howler that arrives, red-hot and smoking.

“ALBUS! OUR YOUNGEST JUST GOT ENGAGED! HE WILL BE, I MEAN, I SAW HIS BOYFRIEND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUYING RINGS AND MAKING RESERVATIONS AT THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ADOPTING! I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!”

PFFT

Horace excitedly asks him when the wedding will be, does he know?

Albus just holds his head in his hands.

Aberforth doesn’t know how to respond.

In all Albus and Aberforther’s wildest nightmares, they never thought that Gellert Grindelwald would react like this to the knowledge that he was a father.

Also, Albus is probably receiving several non-Howler letters. They’re unsigned, (but he knows that handwriting) and they’re exquisite - the most beautiful love letters he’s ever received, full of poetry and heartfelt apologies and sorrowful confessions. Also asking for advice, because does he have any idea how to completely dismantle an evil terrorist organization, it’s a lot harder then it looks.

Aberforth also gets some apology letters, although obviously lacking the lovey-dove bits.

Awww (and yeah, he needs all the advice on that)

Aberforth just stares at them stonily, but. He doesn’t destroy them. 

That’s some progress.

Then the next dreaded Howler arrives. (By this point in time, everyone perks up eagerly at the sight; this is much better then any book or radio show ot television program. Albus preemptively sinks low in his seat, hands already over his face; the other professors crowd close in silent support.)

“THEY PROPOSED! AND HE ACCEPTED! WE’RE GOING TO BE FATHERS-IN-LAW! GRANDCHILDREN!”

PFFT! Albus gets a ton of congratulations, Dippet decides that they simply must host a party among the staff for him, and Slughorn calls dibs on arrangements. 

That’s probably what does it, honestly.

“GELLERT GRINDELWALD! HOW DARE YOU SEND LETTERS TO ME AT MY WORKPLACE, YOU UNMITIGATED ASS! THE ENTIRE SCHOOL NOW KNOWS THE DETAILS OF MY PRIVATE LIFE! MY STUDENTS ARE ASKING ABOUT THE DETAILS OF MY ROMANTIC LIFE! MY COLLEAGUES ARE HOSTING A ‘CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD JUST GOT ENGAGED’ PARTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN MY LIFE! DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM MY SONS’ LIVES FOR THEIR SAFETY AND IT HURTS KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVEAL MYSELF AS THEIR PARENT? AND EVEN IF YOU ARE SINCERE IN YOUR INTENTIONS TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT - WHICH I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED OF, JUST SO YOU KNOW - I HAVE ANY NUMBER OF ENEMIES WHO WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THEN TO TORTURE MY CHILDREN TO DEATH IF THEY EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TWINS!”

….Oh no, we made it sad again.

Not really. Because this is progress! At least to Grindelwald’s mind; it’s the first time Albus has voluntarily spoken to him in decades! Even if it was via Howler.

“ALBUS, I LOVE YOU.” It’s the only thing the next Howler says.

…meanwhile, Newt is gushing about wedding plans with Theseus, and the’re happily discussing the possibility of finally meeting their birth-father?

Pfft, oh Grindelwald. 

He probably makes a point of sending it where Albus hears it in private. See, Albus, he’s listening! (And making a point of finding out who these enemies are and making sure that they never, ever, ever come near Newt or Theseus or their families). 

That’s adorable. I wonder how they feel when they find out in this AU. Hell, how did Graves feel when Grindelwald let him go? 

Grindelwald probably declares a one-man vendetta against Albus’ enemies, and goes after them with extreme prejudice. And sends his letters and gifts to Albus in private - he’s willing to change, he’s trying.

Grindelwald probably sends them a letter sheepishly confessing that he’s an internationally-wanted criminal (he doesn’t give his name) but he’s trying to do better! He really is! He just - doesn’t want the twins to have a criminal for a father, he’s trying to make himself someone better, first. (Newt honestly probably doesn’t really care - he has a disturbingly casual relationship to legality, sometimes, and probably thinks that his blood-father is most likely some kind of smuggler.)

Graves was annoyed. And perplexed at why Grindelwald healed him, let him go, and even apologized to him before handing him a scroll with all the details of every single traitor and incompetent who managed to sneak into MACUSA…

Good job, Gellert. Now that is a way to woo Albus. 

Oh, Newt. Theseus, well, after thinking it over, decides he’s okay with it too. And probably thinks he’s a smuggler or something like Newt does.

Graves is so fucking confused. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t. Obviously Grindelwald is even more insane then people believed. 

After all the angst - I really needed this.

Respecting Albus’ wishes? Protecting his children? (He’s probably going after Theseus’ enemies as well). Yes, that’s definitely a start. Gellert is also probably trying to sneak ‘I love you’ into every single communication he has with his ex; he also starts - moderating his gifts. Downgrading from expensive German chocolates to a nice tea set, things like that - more personal gifts, gifts Albus actually likes.

Grindelwald also probably hasn’t told the twins much about their other birth-parent - Theseus and Newt know that the individual gave them up to try and keep them safe, and that their birth-father thinks that it’s their other blood-parent’s story to tell. Also, while he’s at it, Grindelwald probably confesses that he - used to use Dark Magic? And he’s not anymore; it’s really amazing how much easier it is to think now that it’s not running through his veins and messing with his brain.

LOL Graves. Then again, Graves is slightly distracted - he managed to run into the Love of his Life (quite literally; he collided with the foreign wizard when he was running through the streets of New York, desperately trying to catch an escaped Erumphant). …also, all unknowingly, Graves has also been brought under Gellert’s protection; this is his future son-in-law, after all!

Pffft. Yeah, that’s a good thing, tone it down a bit there, Gellert. And, honestly, didn’t you remember one of the first things that they taught you in Durmstrang? That overuse of the Dark Arts will cloud your judgement and potentially lead you to do unspeakable things if you overuse it and let it control you? Tsk, tsk.

Newt and Theseus are actually probably proud of him for admitting that and for kicking the habit, so to speak. Theseus especially (he is head of the British DMLE) knows what overuse of Dark magic can do to a wizard and how hard it is to quit. Another good job, Gellert. You’re respecting Albus’ wishes and his privacy and right to tell the boys himself. You’re learning.

Poor Graves. Wait until he finds out. 

(Also, other kinda fluffy AU. Newt manages to save the little Sudanese girl. He adopts her. She ends up calling him Mummy too).

Grindelwald has read books! Actual books on parenting! And observed parents interacting with their children! …admittedly, he did end up sending his eldest son a quick letter about that Mary-Lou person and the Second Salemists, because - well, that’s not normal, is it? (I headcanon Grindelwald meeting Rolf before he managed to track down Credence).

Gellert probably wants to explode with happiness when he gets the letter from his sons thanking him for being so open, that can’t have been an easy thing to admit or to do, they’re so proud of him - he could probably power a Patronus on that alone; as it is, he practically floats for the rest of the day. 

Grindelwald admits to them that he was not a very nice person for a long time, that he hurt people, but he’s quit Dark Magic, he’s looking into redirecting his talents to something more legal, he’s trying to be someone they would like to have as a parent.

All Graves knows is that various long-term criminals he’s never been able to pin charges on are suddenly being delivered to the lobby of the American DMLE - a quick check with Theseus reveals that he’s also been experiencing a similar occurance.

And that is probably what ends up with Credence, Chastity, and Modesty being revealed as magical, Credence having an Obscurus, and the three are promptly brought into protective custody, Newt is brought in as a consultant to help Credence since he has experience with Obscuri (maybe the little Sudanese girl can be alive in this AU? I felt fucking awful for her even though she’s only mentioned and all we see is her Obscurus; it’d probably also help Credence’s healing to see someone else who has had this happen to them, to see that they’ve recovered and are happy now. That he can be happy too.) and the Barebone children end up adopted by Newt and then Graves and Tina when the three of them get married. (Grindelwald is overjoyed; both that he has grandchildren and that he was able, indirectly, to help that poor child; yes, Credence, you are a child still, now hush while he showers you in gifts).

Graves is, he is honestly utterly confused, but he’s not complaining. Not in the slightest. 

Grindelwald, in his sheer joy, may actually send a Patronus message to Albus (with strict instructions to approach him when he’s alone and in his private chambers). The message itself? “Our youngest just adopted three children! We’re grandparents! Their names are Credence, Chastity, and Modesty! I’ll send you a picture with my next letter! GRANDCHILDREN!”

Albus is most definitely taken aback, because a Patronus is, unquestionably, very high-level Light Magic.

Actually, Credence/Chastity/Modesty might end up being the first members of the Scamander Clan to actually meet their grandfather in person. They have no idea who Grindelwald is, they don’t have any experience with what exactly it means to be a Dark Lord… Grindelwald would probably sheepishly explain that yes, he’s Newt and Theseus’ father, but he’s - kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, and he doesn’t feel like they would be comfortable in his presence, and he doesn’t want to presume… But he’d like to get to know them?

He’d spoil the three of them outrageously. He’d buy the girls jewelry sets and wizarding picture books, he’d give Credence a necklace of your own - this is strictly for emergencies, Credence, if you ever really need me, hold it and think of me - keep in mind that I will think it’s for a genuine emergency and arrive throwing spells left and right… He teaches Credence wand tricks and be very supportive of his life choices, and be more then happy to hug him whenever he could.

Theseus probably takes him aside and shares the Mystery of their Blood-Father, and how the man is apparently somewhat socially defunct, but he’s trying? Graves, after examining the letters himself, has to agree that the idea of a man giving up on Dark Magic and trying to Do Good is indeed very impressive, but he’s admitted to being an internationally-wanted criminal.
rakasha: (Default)
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That could actually change quite a few things.

To start with, I headcanon Kamala as spending most of her time in the case. She’s very shy around other people, and outright afraid most of the time - her interactions with other humans prior to Newt were not very positive, and usually downright negative. The case is a blessing; she’s safe, she’s not around other humans (Newt is the exception; he’s mummy), she’s in the company of a great deal of terribly dangerous creatures - but that’s okay. She’s a terribly dangerous thing too. (Newt is working very hard to help rid her of this self-image).

I imagine that Newt was, if at all possible, significantly more invested in finding his case when it went missing; after all, his daughter was in there. “This is Kamala Scamander.” He introduces her to Jacob, who’s the first person to meet her - “No, don’t worry, sweetheart, Jacob won’t hurt you. There are good people in this world, please, give him a chance…” Jacob is also the first person other then Newt that Kamala trusts enough to let even vaguely close (it’s categorically impossible to hate Jacob).

And, oh my god, just think how different that scene in the courthouse would be. The instant Grindelgraves snatched the case from Newt, Newt would go frantic (Er. Again, even moreso then in canon). “My daughter! My daughter’s in there, please don’t hurt my daughter, please don’t hurt my - “

Tina would be horrified at what she’s accidentally done. Newt’s entire interrogation would him be frantically asking after Kamala - is she safe, is she all right? She’s shy, she doesn’t like being around other people, she must be so afraid, where is she?! And without the pocket Obscurus, Grindelgraves’ interrogation would take an entirely different tract - more focused around Kamala. Newt would be all to happy to offer his services; after all, he’s dealt with an Obscurus before, he knows how to remove the parasite form the host -

Which makes him a danger to his plans, so Grindelgraves would still sentence him to execution.
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Extremely.

Looking at the situation logically - Grindelwald can’t approach them in public, he’s an internationally-wanted criminal - so he can’t simply waltz up to Aberforth at the Hog’s Heade and casually ask him to pass on a message to Albus. He can’t approach Albus at Hogwarts, because like fuck will Albus let him near children. It would most likely be best for him to simply send his ex a letter via owl, specifying a time and a meeting - I will not ask you to come alone. The letter reads, Grindelwald’s bold, almost flamboyant quill-strokes devouring the paper. Keep in mind, however, that any attempt to ambush or otherwise impede me will result in harsh consequences for others - I trust I need not clarify whom?

And if Gellert wants to twist the knife, wants to really drive the point home - he’d simply request that Albus meet him at the old Dumbledore place. Their old cottage, in Godric’s Hollow. Albus, as the oldest, technically owns the property, but he hasn’t been back there in years - the memories are too painful. (She died. Arianna died, he never wanted that, he was young and in so very much in love, but she died.) And I think that Grindelwald is not above squeezing every last advantage he can get from Albus’s pain and guilt.

Aberforth, of course, is practically beyond furious. But what can they do? They go. And Grindelwald is waiting for them, expensive robes impeccable as he greets them. Mister Dumbledore. He calls Aberforth, nodding briefly. And then he turns to Albus, and the smile crossing his face is vicious victory and possessive greed. Liebling.

Grindelwald is not there to negotiate. He is there to tell them how things will go. He outlines it plainly: he has Newton and Theseus Scamander are in his possession. (That’s how he puts it: in his possession, as if they are things he can own.) Aside from a few bumps and bruises, they have not been harmed. Regrettably, it appears that they have been - somewhat ill-educated, if not outright misinformed in certain matters, but Albus needn’t fear - Grindelwald is personally educating them in respect to proper wizarding attitudes and interactions with non-magicals. (Albus goes white. Aberforth goes red. This, as you mentioned in a prior post, is their worst nightmare - Gellert trying to turn the twins into him.)

And to prove it - well. Here, have a memory, liebling - and Grindelwald puts his wand to his head and removes a silver-thread strand of thought, letting it billow into being in front of him - it’s the twins. It’s the twins, as they were on the first day, when he threw a petrified Theseus next to an immobile Newt and used the ancestry-revealing potion on them. Then another flesh of memory, more recent - Newt curled into a ball on the other side of a table, shoulders heaving as he sobs silently; Theseus screaming, hair disheveled, face scarlet with rage as he lunges for Grindelwald’s throat…

Albus can’t help but drink in the sight, even as his heart twists and cracks. His babies, these are his babies, and - and they’re still alive, they know the truth, but they’re still fighting…

It’s a casual observation, and Gellert delivers it off-handedly - they have your eyes, liebling, and my cheekbones. But somehow, it’s the most terrifying thing that that Dumbledore brothers have ever heard. This is Gellert Grindelwald laying claim.

Grindelwald lays out the situation in plain and simple terms. The twins are his. Albus is his. And if he ever wants to see them again, if he wants to act as a modifying force on the twins’ ‘education’ (and there is a threat there, a threat of darker things then brainwashing attempts and psychological torment) he will come with Gellert. Grindelwald isn’t expecting an answer now, he knows it’s a bit of a shock, so he’s going to give Albus six months. Six months to finish the school year and make arrangements, six months to find a way out, six months to realize that it is impossible, six months when he knows the twins are suffering… Six months, with the knowledge that Gellert has won ringing in his bones.

Gellert bows, an almost courtly gesture, reaching out and kissing Albus’ limp hand. I shall expect you in six months, liebling - and then he’s gone, Apparition leaving only shadows in his wake.
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adsumcirrat:

@hamelin-born and @stylishbutdefinitelyillegal came up with the dragon!Scamanders. Consider this:

Hufflepuf dragon. Absolutely loyal and hard working. Have you seen a dragon working hard on destroying his enemies? And loyal, but only to those he chooses. And heaven help you if you are among his chosen but betray that trust. Lestrange family is unhinged, we know that, but could it maybe, just maybe come from a curse of a powerful magical being?

And the dragon knows he’s so powerful and dangerous, after all it was drilled in them since they were little hatchlings: “You are strong, you are powerful, but we are just a few. If you squish them they will find us, and then what?” So he tries to seem unthreatening. Always on the defensive.

It’s true though that Theseus can fit in better. After listening to endless “why can’t you be more like your brother” Newt decides to copy his transfiguration professor. The quirkier you are the more people take you for a weak fool and don’t feel threatened by you. They underestimate you. So Newt is hiding in the plain sight by sticking out.

After learning that there are dragon reserves, smol!Newt cried and whined until their parents gave in and took the boys to the one in Wales. Newt came away terribly disappointed. He expected to find more family but what he found were more beasts than beings like them. Later, when he’s older and has more experience, he says that it’s like visiting a person with advanced dementia who cannot properly string words together anymore and blabbers nonsensical syllables that have meaning only to themselves, yet recognizing that there is a meaning to be found. He was even more disappointed by finding out how the reserve workers treated the dragons. He knows that if their family is found out, this is where they will end and how they will be treated.

The first magizoological text he opens is actually to learn what he can expect from his not-so-fellow humans. The others follow when he realizes that he could actually do something about it.

He gets so many books and starts dragging creatures home to study them better. His parents are concerned at first but then decide that at least it’s less dangerous than Theseus hoarding battlefield commendations, and let him be.

During the years he actually lost all the fucks to give about what he calls in his head the laws of men. The only reason why he bothers with legal things anymore is his brother. Seriously, if there’s like a complete opposite to hoarding, that’s what he feels about Theseus’ lectures. But being Humanly Legal is a chore and a half.

He travels a lot not only to study the creatures in their natural environment but also to avoid anybody getting to know him too much. He can’t afford being found out. It’s the only regulation he takes seriously. See, Theseus? I’m complying.

His body language stays in the learned defensive position and so there are only little to no tells when he attacks. It’s always completely logical and justifiable, don’t look at me like that, I can’t help it if they are idiots who won’t listen to the voice of reason, that is, Newt’s reason.

His hoarding people actually started with Jacob. When they got talking in the bank, Newt didn’t think. He just wanted that human to buzz off and let him be. But when Jacob heard him saying he wants to get a loan for a bakery too, he said “may the best man win” even though he was clearly upset. That made some long-forgotten and empty part in Newt sit up and pay attention. Jacob only helped his case, so to speak, when he called Newt back to the hatching egg.

Tina wasn’t the second. It was Queenie. She recognized his mind as alien but she said nothing. Even to her own sister. Instead she kept her attention firmly on Jacob and then made them cocoa. She is one of the strongest people Newt knows because oh my God, how is she still sane? She reads humans and goblins and elves and dragons, she can read Newt, and she’s still sane. Maybe a little giggly, but. Newt wonders sometimes if anybody is aware how much Queenie doesn’t say in all her brutally honest chatter.

He starts to hoard Tina after the death chamber. When he saw her memories in the death potion, how she protected Credence. He recognizes a fellow hoarder, she would make a fine dragon, he thinks. Later, Theseus will agree. Tina clings to the law with near-reptilian tenacity, but they both like her even better when she starts to hoard justice and mercy instead.

The church children, and he means the three, he will never call them Barebones, they are so much than that, only that monster of a woman was a bare bone, those come as set, all strange and beautifully broken. This is the moment when Newt actually realizes he’s hoarding people. That he’s really hoarding. At first he thinks it’s completely random, but then he realizes that all of them are extraordinary, broken, yet fighting for their control every single moment, just like him. They are all shattered and put back together and now they reflect single rays in myriads of colorful impressions. It’s good that dragon fire shines bright.

Newt is the one to find Graves. Believe it or not, Grindelwald got inspired by Russian folk tales and charmed Graves into an egg. And then put that egg among all other impounded creature eggs at MACUSA. It was lucky that Piquery hired Newt to go all over the impounded creatures as a bribe so that he won’t tell his powerful war hero of a brother he was sentenced to death under her rule (like hell he won’t; he hasn’t promised her anything).

So after Graves is found there’s such a commotion that Newt can’t really continue combing over the MACUSA impound storage, and he just hangs with Queenie and Tina. Who drags him with her when the Aurors get cracking on yet another smuggler ring.

The auror team comes back speechless and shattered. It turns out the ring kept a few bowtruckles for the locks, but what’s even worse, there were small girls. The first made Newt angry, the second made him livid. If Tina hadn’t blurted out they needed at least a few of them alive…

“It was carnage, man, just pure slaughter. I don’t know how Goldstein got the balls to tell him leave some of them alive, but you know he doesn’t look like much? So he walks in, still not looking like much, and then grabs the first guy and puts his face through the wall. The wall won. It wasn’t pretty. And he went on like that, one man killing machine, not reacting to spells or anything. They had to miss him, I guess, I recognized a few boneshatters, no way he’d shrug that off. He didn’t listen to them or to us, and then that madwoman runs to him, grabs his arm and goes ‘we need to interrogate somebody’ and he stops. And then gets terribly upset, because he forgot to take his coat off and got it all bloody. Forgot about cleaning spells there, I guess… ”

Newt was more upset because he had a Niffler bun in his pocket he wanted to bring to Graves, actually, and he got blood all over that. The coat was a present from his brother who knows him so well he would never give him something that wasn’t spell-resistant and self-cleaning.

Later on, as their relationship developed, Newt was known to literally sit on Graves when he wanted him to stop working. Sometimes in his true form but then he just slapped a tip of his wing over the man. He likes pancakes and he loves Graves, but he doesn’t want to have a Graves pancake. Percival does not mind. Newt runs hot in any form and “slapped down by a dragon” is a good enough excuse when his sense of duty gets stuck on the on-duty mode.

Going by the semi-canon theory that Leta Lestrange was directly responsible for Newt’s near-expulsion (I’m actually not sure what happened there?) and quite possibly manipulated him in some fashion – yes. Well. Dragons do not take betrayal lightly; Newt might have been halfway to seeing her as part of his hoard, which would make it cut that much deeper. If Newt didn’t curse her, his family would have done so – in sheer self-protection, most likely. Leaving Leta unpunished was not an option; draconic instinct would have seen her scoured from the face of the earth, which would have meant exposing The Secret to the wizarding world. Cursing her mitigated it – just enough that Newt could turn his back and walk away.

The idea of Newt using Albus Dumbledore as his role model for how to fit in is marvelous. And your description of Newt on the dragon reserves is heartbreaking; I imagine that Newt asked questions for days about them. Why were the other dragons like that? Why wouldn’t they talk? Why were they different? His parents have no answers to give him; they have been hiding for centuries, and though they managed to keep the essence of what it means to be dragons alive, so many things have been lost… Newt’s studies might also be, quietly, intensely, focused on understanding how the draconic subspecies diverged to such a degree, and exactly what happened. He may never know, but he looks for answers nonetheless. (Perhaps if he understood, he could help his many-times-distant kin, trapped on the reserves?)

Don’t apologize, I love dark!Newt! There’s a core of something sharp-edged and blatantly inhuman here, something that just Does Not Care about the laws humanity attempts to impose on him – but he tolerates it, mostly, out of love for his brother and because it’s much less of a hassle overall – humans whine so much when you shatter their legislation, however idiotic it might be. And Newt has his case, he has his creatures who are – not quite hoard. They’re more like friends. They belong to themselves; he would defend them to the death, of course, but they are not his. He abandons skin for scales, sometimes, in the quiet darkness of his case, and runs alongside them – he hasn’t dared shift to his Truest Self for years, and it’s a nice reprieve.

And then he starts his hoard. His true hoard; the first he’s ever had. (Leta doesn’t count. Leta broke his heart, and in breaking the nascent sense of belonging, she nearly drove Newt insane.) Jacob is the first, slotting neatly beside his heart; Queenie follows, and Tina, and the Church Children. He tucks them close to his heart and spreads his wings above them – nothing will touch them. Nothing will hurt them, and a dragon’s protection and a dragon’s promise are fearful things indeed. He had to keep himself from tearing out fake-Graves’ throat with his teeth when he sentenced them to execution; the foulglass wouldn’t have made a dent on his scales, but it would have killed Tina, his Tina, HIS. They would have Obliviated Jacob (kind, good Jacob, first hoard-object, first friend) and left Queenie to cry and scream and mourn for her sisters’ death, and No, he would not let it happen.

The sheer blast of belonging took him totally offbalance; it was probably the shock, more then anything else, that distracted Newt enough to just let them herd him and Tina to the Death Chamber.

Graves, though. Graves is different. Graves is Hoard; he knew that the first time he looked down at the man, befuddled, dirty, tormented, tired, but still fighting. He felt the sense of belonging click into place; it was actually difficult to turn the other man over to the healers. Newt wanted nothing more to heal his wounds himself, to feed him delicacies from the farthest reaches of the earth, to drape him in fine silks and bedazzle his fingers with rings – he feels the same impulses to a lesser degree with the rest of his Hoard, but with Graves, it’s overwhelming.

Newt probably actually sends a panicked letter to Theseus, describing his symptoms, and Theseus simply laughs. It’s perfectly natural, he assures his little brother. You’ve simply fallen in mate-lust as well as hoard-lust. Haven’t you heard of love at first sight? I have to admit that I’m a bit surprised at your taste in mates, but don’t worry, we can get rid of that pesky ‘humanity’ of his – I think he would look lovely in scales, don’t you think? All obsidian wings and silver spikes…

It honestly makes me wonder how Newt’s Hoard would take the knowledge that he was a dragon. Probably with various degrees of surprise (Queenie excepted, of course) before shrugging. Dragon or not, he’s still Newt.
rakasha: (Default)
via http://ift.tt/2iscmPw:
stylishbutdefinitelyillegal:

hamelin-born:

adsumcirrat:

@hamelin-born and @stylishbutdefinitelyillegal came up with the dragon!Scamanders. Consider this:

Hufflepuf dragon. Absolutely loyal and hard working. Have you seen a dragon working hard on destroying his enemies? And loyal, but only to those he chooses. And heaven help you if you are among his chosen but betray that trust. Lestrange family is unhinged, we know that, but could it maybe, just maybe come from a curse of a powerful magical being?

And the dragon knows he’s so powerful and dangerous, after all it was drilled in them since they were little hatchlings: “You are strong, you are powerful, but we are just a few. If you squish them they will find us, and then what?” So he tries to seem unthreatening. Always on the defensive.

It’s true though that Theseus can fit in better. After listening to endless “why can’t you be more like your brother” Newt decides to copy his transfiguration professor. The quirkier you are the more people take you for a weak fool and don’t feel threatened by you. They underestimate you. So Newt is hiding in the plain sight by sticking out.

After learning that there are dragon reserves, smol!Newt cried and whined until their parents gave in and took the boys to the one in Wales. Newt came away terribly disappointed. He expected to find more family but what he found were more beasts than beings like them. Later, when he’s older and has more experience, he says that it’s like visiting a person with advanced dementia who cannot properly string words together anymore and blabbers nonsensical syllables that have meaning only to themselves, yet recognizing that there is a meaning to be found. He was even more disappointed by finding out how the reserve workers treated the dragons. He knows that if their family is found out, this is where they will end and how they will be treated.

The first magizoological text he opens is actually to learn what he can expect from his not-so-fellow humans. The others follow when he realizes that he could actually do something about it.

He gets so many books and starts dragging creatures home to study them better. His parents are concerned at first but then decide that at least it’s less dangerous than Theseus hoarding battlefield commendations, and let him be.

During the years he actually lost all the fucks to give about what he calls in his head the laws of men. The only reason why he bothers with legal things anymore is his brother. Seriously, if there’s like a complete opposite to hoarding, that’s what he feels about Theseus’ lectures. But being Humanly Legal is a chore and a half.

He travels a lot not only to study the creatures in their natural environment but also to avoid anybody getting to know him too much. He can’t afford being found out. It’s the only regulation he takes seriously. See, Theseus? I’m complying.

His body language stays in the learned defensive position and so there are only little to no tells when he attacks. It’s always completely logical and justifiable, don’t look at me like that, I can’t help it if they are idiots who won’t listen to the voice of reason, that is, Newt’s reason.

His hoarding people actually started with Jacob. When they got talking in the bank, Newt didn’t think. He just wanted that human to buzz off and let him be. But when Jacob heard him saying he wants to get a loan for a bakery too, he said “may the best man win” even though he was clearly upset. That made some long-forgotten and empty part in Newt sit up and pay attention. Jacob only helped his case, so to speak, when he called Newt back to the hatching egg.

Tina wasn’t the second. It was Queenie. She recognized his mind as alien but she said nothing. Even to her own sister. Instead she kept her attention firmly on Jacob and then made them cocoa. She is one of the strongest people Newt knows because oh my God, how is she still sane? She reads humans and goblins and elves and dragons, she can read Newt, and she’s still sane. Maybe a little giggly, but. Newt wonders sometimes if anybody is aware how much Queenie doesn’t say in all her brutally honest chatter.

He starts to hoard Tina after the death chamber. When he saw her memories in the death potion, how she protected Credence. He recognizes a fellow hoarder, she would make a fine dragon, he thinks. Later, Theseus will agree. Tina clings to the law with near-reptilian tenacity, but they both like her even better when she starts to hoard justice and mercy instead.

The church children, and he means the three, he will never call them Barebones, they are so much than that, only that monster of a woman was a bare bone, those come as set, all strange and beautifully broken. This is the moment when Newt actually realizes he’s hoarding people. That he’s really hoarding. At first he thinks it’s completely random, but then he realizes that all of them are extraordinary, broken, yet fighting for their control every single moment, just like him. They are all shattered and put back together and now they reflect single rays in myriads of colorful impressions. It’s good that dragon fire shines bright.

Newt is the one to find Graves. Believe it or not, Grindelwald got inspired by Russian folk tales and charmed Graves into an egg. And then put that egg among all other impounded creature eggs at MACUSA. It was lucky that Piquery hired Newt to go all over the impounded creatures as a bribe so that he won’t tell his powerful war hero of a brother he was sentenced to death under her rule (like hell he won’t; he hasn’t promised her anything).

So after Graves is found there’s such a commotion that Newt can’t really continue combing over the MACUSA impound storage, and he just hangs with Queenie and Tina. Who drags him with her when the Aurors get cracking on yet another smuggler ring.

The auror team comes back speechless and shattered. It turns out the ring kept a few bowtruckles for the locks, but what’s even worse, there were small girls. The first made Newt angry, the second made him livid. If Tina hadn’t blurted out they needed at least a few of them alive…

“It was carnage, man, just pure slaughter. I don’t know how Goldstein got the balls to tell him leave some of them alive, but you know he doesn’t look like much? So he walks in, still not looking like much, and then grabs the first guy and puts his face through the wall. The wall won. It wasn’t pretty. And he went on like that, one man killing machine, not reacting to spells or anything. They had to miss him, I guess, I recognized a few boneshatters, no way he’d shrug that off. He didn’t listen to them or to us, and then that madwoman runs to him, grabs his arm and goes ‘we need to interrogate somebody’ and he stops. And then gets terribly upset, because he forgot to take his coat off and got it all bloody. Forgot about cleaning spells there, I guess… ”

Newt was more upset because he had a Niffler bun in his pocket he wanted to bring to Graves, actually, and he got blood all over that. The coat was a present from his brother who knows him so well he would never give him something that wasn’t spell-resistant and self-cleaning.

Later on, as their relationship developed, Newt was known to literally sit on Graves when he wanted him to stop working. Sometimes in his true form but then he just slapped a tip of his wing over the man. He likes pancakes and he loves Graves, but he doesn’t want to have a Graves pancake. Percival does not mind. Newt runs hot in any form and “slapped down by a dragon” is a good enough excuse when his sense of duty gets stuck on the on-duty mode.

Going by the semi-canon theory that Leta Lestrange was directly responsible for Newt’s near-expulsion (I’m actually not sure what happened there?) and quite possibly manipulated him in some fashion – yes. Well. Dragons do not take betrayal lightly; Newt might have been halfway to seeing her as part of his hoard, which would make it cut that much deeper. If Newt didn’t curse her, his family would have done so – in sheer self-protection, most likely. Leaving Leta unpunished was not an option; draconic instinct would have seen her scoured from the face of the earth, which would have meant exposing The Secret to the wizarding world. Cursing her mitigated it – just enough that Newt could turn his back and walk away.

The idea of Newt using Albus Dumbledore as his role model for how to fit in is marvelous. And your description of Newt on the dragon reserves is heartbreaking; I imagine that Newt asked questions for days about them. Why were the other dragons like that? Why wouldn’t they talk? Why were they different? His parents have no answers to give him; they have been hiding for centuries, and though they managed to keep the essence of what it means to be dragons alive, so many things have been lost… Newt’s studies might also be, quietly, intensely, focused on understanding how the draconic subspecies diverged to such a degree, and exactly what happened. He may never know, but he looks for answers nonetheless. (Perhaps if he understood, he could help his many-times-distant kin, trapped on the reserves?)

Don’t apologize, I love dark!Newt! There’s a core of something sharp-edged and blatantly inhuman here, something that just Does Not Care about the laws humanity attempts to impose on him – but he tolerates it, mostly, out of love for his brother and because it’s much less of a hassle overall – humans whine so much when you shatter their legislation, however idiotic it might be. And Newt has his case, he has his creatures who are – not quite hoard. They’re more like friends. They belong to themselves; he would defend them to the death, of course, but they are not his. He abandons skin for scales, sometimes, in the quiet darkness of his case, and runs alongside them – he hasn’t dared shift to his Truest Self for years, and it’s a nice reprieve.

And then he starts his hoard. His true hoard; the first he’s ever had. (Leta doesn’t count. Leta broke his heart, and in breaking the nascent sense of belonging, she nearly drove Newt insane.) Jacob is the first, slotting neatly beside his heart; Queenie follows, and Tina, and the Church Children. He tucks them close to his heart and spreads his wings above them – nothing will touch them. Nothing will hurt them, and a dragon’s protection and a dragon’s promise are fearful things indeed. He had to keep himself from tearing out fake-Graves’ throat with his teeth when he sentenced them to execution; the foulglass wouldn’t have made a dent on his scales, but it would have killed Tina, his Tina, HIS. They would have Obliviated Jacob (kind, good Jacob, first hoard-object, first friend) and left Queenie to cry and scream and mourn for her sisters’ death, and No, he would not let it happen.

The sheer blast of belonging took him totally offbalance; it was probably the shock, more then anything else, that distracted Newt enough to just let them herd him and Tina to the Death Chamber.

Graves, though. Graves is different. Graves is Hoard; he knew that the first time he looked down at the man, befuddled, dirty, tormented, tired, but still fighting. He felt the sense of belonging click into place; it was actually difficult to turn the other man over to the healers. Newt wanted nothing more to heal his wounds himself, to feed him delicacies from the farthest reaches of the earth, to drape him in fine silks and bedazzle his fingers with rings – he feels the same impulses to a lesser degree with the rest of his Hoard, but with Graves, it’s overwhelming.

Newt probably actually sends a panicked letter to Theseus, describing his symptoms, and Theseus simply laughs. It’s perfectly natural, he assures his little brother. You’ve simply fallen in mate-lust as well as hoard-lust. Haven’t you heard of love at first sight? I have to admit that I’m a bit surprised at your taste in mates, but don’t worry, we can get rid of that pesky ‘humanity’ of his – I think he would look lovely in scales, don’t you think? All obsidian wings and silver spikes…

It honestly makes me wonder how Newt’s Hoard would take the knowledge that he was a dragon. Probably with various degrees of surprise (Queenie excepted, of course) before shrugging. Dragon or not, he’s still Newt.

@aethelar @stylishbutdefinitelyillegal

I don’t really have much to add, but this is all beautiful and I love it.

Also, how do they go about changing Graves into a dragon like them?

Probably very sneakily. Honestly, with how rare Newt’s breed of dragon seems to be, they’d have to have some way to ‘adopt’ individuals into their species if they wanted to continue existing.

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