the jedi temple’s bootleg space booze is.
1. a Specialty,
2. made with love and a complete lack of fucks
3. honestly the most Terrifying substance in existence
Every Jedi has their own particular twist - Kit Fisto uses a hallucinogenic seaweed found on his native planet. Plo Koon’s is literally lethal to non Kel-Dor but is the galaxy’s best known grease remover. Mace’s stash appears relatively tame, but has an aftertaste that kicks in half an hour later when you’ve already drunk half the bottle and cannot be removed by any mouthwash known to civilization. No one knows what Yoda’s tastes like, except possibly Dooku and the only time he was ever asked his eyes went blank, his shoulder twitched compulsively and he he immediately called a retreat - it is therefore the most sought after secret in the temple. Luminara has a variety that tastes of something only describable as “pure regret”. She’s been working on “horrified realisation” for a while now but has only managed “embarassed mortification”. Qui-Gon liked to infuse tea and spices into his brew, and brought back more than a few exotic species to feed his habit. Obi-Wan continues the tradition, however due to the increasing stresses of war the tea varieties he uses have steadily been increasing in both bitterness and caffeine content. It is colloquially known as “the sleepless death” and is banned in eight star systems. Skywalker’s version is surprisingly palatable, does not cause hallucinations and packs a kick stronger than a Dug on steroids. It’s made of bugs.
#ITS MADE OF BUGS PLEASE #ALSJFKDKANWJIRIRHDB #the sleepless death could knock out a whole army #if only the seps used a sentient army;;;; #I love this #sw crack
THE SLEEPLESS DEAR BANNED IN RIGHT SYSTEMS. OBI-WAN PLEASE!
My phone hates me.
The sleepless death banned in eight systems. Obi-Wan please!