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originalpercival:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

PRE/POST TFA:

In The Days Still Left by carefulben, 46k wip

Know Thyself by theascetic, 92k

An Advisor To Wake Up To by GreyLiliy, 20k wip

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger by hollycomb, 36k

My Skin Is Theirs by Clarice Chiara Sorcha, 10k

Take the Current by lobstergirl, 17k wip

AU:

Life After Death and Taxes by Anorlost, 177k wip, vampire au

Twilight Omens by limit_breaker, 23k wip, swayed by FO

Deus Ex Machina by ballvvasher, 20k, ex machina au

Scoundrel’s Gambit by Gefionne, 19k, smugglers au

The Other Side of the Coin by Gigi_Sinclair, 11k wip, smugglers au

Auld Lang Syne by Star_flaming, 33k, hux staying with mom

How to Get Away with Murder by hollycomb, 12k wip, hunger games au

LIGHT SIDE AU: 

Breaking Cover by GreyLiliy, 168k wip

Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad by Vadianna, 27k

MPREG:

I Don’t Want Love by saltandrockets, 88k

Son Of Mine by ballvvasher, 148k wip, warnings!!!

HAUNTED HOUSE:

what’s real or isn’t by brawlite, 45k wip

Ghost Encounters of the Hux Kind by carefulren, 25k

First Order Investigations by MistressEast, 26k

How to Kill a Living Thing by hedgerowhag, 25k

HUMAN AU:

Sweet Home Arkanis by Gefionne, 61k wip

Family Values by SpookMouse, 16k

Quarry by samzillastomps, 50k

Kylux Animal Welfare AU, 41k

Reconditioning by JinxedAmbitions, 81k wip

Fanboy by helvel, 12k wip

Scattered Silver at Your Feet by MargaretKire, 17k

Control Risk by littlesystems, 25k

Friends With Renefits by MoonwalkingCrab, 37k

Skin Deep by Misaya, 15k wip

Swipe Right for Slow Burn Regret by JinxedAmbitions, 20k wip

breezeblocks by bioticnerfherder, 17k wip

They Go Wild by GravityDefyingHair, 32k wip

All The Way To Your Door by kyluxtrashcompactor, 44k

Take the Dive by JinxedAmbitions, 62k

HUMAN AU, ACTORS/MUSIC/DANCING:

The Secret Heart by slutpunk, 48k

ren, solo by dadcastellanos, 40k

Bohemian Rhapsody by for_autumn_i_am, 18k

Pointe Shoes and Prana-Bindu by GenerallyHuxurious, 10k wip

HUMAN AU, KYLO REN WITH A SWORD:

Swords and Slippers by TheCrackedKatana, 38k wip

Incense and Cinnamon by MargaretKire, 49k

HUMAN AU, MAFIA:

Bloodsoaked Lullabies by Ficlet-Machine, 53k wip

Like I Never Said Farewell by LazarusIsRisen, 43k wip

HUMAN AU, BOOKS:

None of Your Business by samzillastomps, 20k

stet by acroamatica, 17k

Parchment & Vellum by Gefionne, 32k

HUMAN AU, BODYGUARD:

Does It Have a Name by Arision, 40k

The Bodyguard by soIiIoquy, 33k wip

HUMAN AU, UNI:

Vitas Brevis, Ars Longa by baethoven, 45k

Anyone But You by zamwessell, 14k

HUMAN AU, BENARMIE:

Cornflakes and Other Lists by Star_flaming, 35k

The Brief Wondrous Return of Vampire Boy by hollycomb, 21k

BONUS! When Hux of one kylux universe meets another:

Modern Emperors by fedaykin, GenerallyHuxurious, 56k wip 

fic descriptions in alphabetical order under the cut - 

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SEE?? PERFECT ❤ Honestly, even just imagining Kylo and Hux in that sort of scene makes me want to just go ‘fuck it’ and write it 😂
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(cont.) One day, in a simple update meeting with Snoke, the supreme leader senses it. Perhaps it was masked by Ren’s strong force presence when he was in the chamber alongside the general, or an effect of their bonding, like he summoned it into Armitage through their close proximity—but now…It’s a spark. A spark to ignite, to be his new apprentice, to fight Ben Solo and the resistance. Doesn’t hux want revenge? He’s not quite sure, but eventually, he realizes it will give him a chance to meet kylo on the battlefield, not exactly to fight him, but to ask him why. Ben looks heartbroken watching hux deftly destroy parts of the resistance, calculated, calm, genius as ever. They come to odds one day, finally, months, possibly a year or two after being apart. Can end in angst or kissing or whatever comes to mind. I just want surprise-I-have-the-force!hux and what-do-I-do-now Kylo

 Hux has felt differently ever since Kylo left.

There’s an almost constant tightness in his chest, like an anticipation of something else that’s waiting to attack him whilst he’s vulnerable, biding its time until it devours him.

He’s aware of how Kylo had betrayed him; he’s heard the stormtrooper’s reports, he’s watched the grainy, recorded footage that the officers on the Finalizer had managed to recover after Starkiller’s destruction. Hux bites his lips, recalling the images of Kylo standing on the bridge in the oscillator chamber, dropping his helmet to the floor and handing his lightsaber over to a scruffy-looking man with a Wookie watching their every move.

Han Solo, obviously. Come to rescue his only son from the evil clutches of the First Order, the ones who have kept precious Ben prisoner all these years.

Clearly, Hux thinks sarcastically. The infamous Jedi Killer, the Master of the Knights of Ren, the grandson of Darth Vader himself, lost to the light.

Hux slams his fists against the desk and groans in frustration. The dim lamp on his desk flickers and the stylus of his datapad vibrates, but Hux doesn’t notice, his head hanging between his shoulders as he tries to suppress his sobs.

Kylo Ren is the only being in the entirity of the galaxy who’s ever known and loved Armitage Hux, told him he’s beautiful, promised him eternal love and protection.

“Liar,” Hux whispers aloud, hoping that somehow, Kylo—Ben—hears him. And he hopes it hurts him.

“General Hux, you are late.”

The Supreme Leader’s leering hologram stares disapprovingly at Hux, his gaze following the General’s steps along the walkway to the raised platform at the end.

Hux gives a slight bow.

“My apologies, Supreme Leader. I was indisposed with—er—well, for lack of a better word, panic.”

Snoke frowns. “Panic? Elaborate.”

“The truth about what has come of Kylo Ren has somehow circulated amongst the First Order, and many are believing that, with no Force-sensitive in our allegiance, our cause is already lost,” Hux explains, maintaining eye-contact with Snoke, but can’t help but be alarmed at the creature’s change in expression. “Most officers, of course, remember a time where Vader and the Emperor spread fear across the galaxy in their mighty duo, master and apprentice, one to rule and one to enforce. Many…seem to think that the same hierarchy should be the new leadership of the First Order. Sir.”

Snoke sits back as though processing Hux’s words, one of his bony fingers tracing the shape of his own bottom lip as he thinks. Hux swallows, still feeling vulnerable facing the Supreme Leader without Kylo by his side.

“Tell me, General. How do you feel?”

Hux frowns. “Feel, sir? I’m afraid I don’t follow—”

“You had quite a deep connection with young Kylo, did you not? Not only were you the most intimate of lovers, but you trusted him, didn’t you? Loved him?”

Hux feels the pain in his chest worsen.

“Yes,” he answers with a slightly hesitant tone. “I did. With everything I had. And he ripped it away from me.”

Snoke nods, hums. “Go on.”

Hux suddenly can’t help himself; the tears on his cheeks are burning, falling with such emotion that Hux can almost feel the strength of each individual one.

“I thought I meant something to him,” Hux says, focussing at a spot on the floor, teeth gritted. “He was a mess when he came aboard this ship, a broken boy with a wrecked heart that needed someone to just hold him and tell him that he’s good enough. And I jumped, I drowned for him, gave him everything he needed from me and he took it but he was happy. Stars, I made him happy—but, no, no, no—he’s taken everything away from me, left me behind to rot whilst he pretends to be something he hates. Some false hero with a tainted name, blood on his hands that won’t be cleaned no matter how hard his mother tries. He—”

Suddenly being too weak to stand, Hux falls to his knees, catching himself on his hands, shoulders trembling. His tears drop onto the stone floor below him, and Hux feels like he’s the only person left in the galaxy. Just him, and his aching soul.

“I loved him. I loved him. I love him.”

Only when Hux’s ears stop ringing for a moment does he hear Snoke’s voice.

“Congratulations, General,” he says, and Hux looks up, puzzled. “I believe you have just made an excellent case for my next apprentice.”

“S-sir?”

“Get up, my boy,” Snoke says, curling his fingers inwards to his palm slowly. “Do not allow a weakling like Ben Solo to keep you on your knees for a second longer. He is unworthy of your newfound power.”

Hux stands up slowly, knees trembling, baffled by Snoke’s words and finds himself wondering whether he’s dreaming, but the pain in his chest confirms that he’s still in his miserable reality.

“Can you not feel it, Armitage?” Snoke breathes, and Hux shivers at the sound of his name. “The Force. The Dark Side. It’s calling to you, manifesting around you. Let it consume you. Let it fuel your hatred for the man who stole your lover away from you. ”

Hux lifts his hands up, palms open, suddenly feeling as though there’s electricity at his fingertips, pooling in his palms and spreading through his veins, making his heart beat faster and his mind think quicker.

“This can’t be possible,” Hux mutters. “I’m not—”

“Oh, but you are, Armitage,” Snoke says, eyeing Hux carefully. “Or, should I say, apprentice.”

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saintvader:

moodboard requests

↪ kitsune & hunter kylux for @theweddingofthefoxes

@solohux
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The dreams begin when he is small.

Ripped from his mother’s arms durning the siege of Arkanis, he is taken to live with the Commandant. This scowling, redfaced man who claims to be his father doesn’t tuck him in at night the way she used to. They live as nomads, on a series of different star destroyers. Armitage huddles together with a series of other children in a series of cold berths. That’s when it starts to invade his sleep.

He dreams of a great black mouth that swallows everything in the universe. Nothing can satisfy its cruel hunger and no one can stop it. A pair of silver eyes sit above it, watching him watch as it devours the world. He tries to tell the Commandant, but the man won’t listen. Eventually, like the sound of hyperspace, the dreams recede into the roaring background noise of his life.

When Armitage is seventeen, his father takes him to meet a creature he found and befriended during their travels in the Unknown Regions. It calls itself Snoke, and it has darting, fish-like, silver eyes. Armitage tries to warn the Commandant, but the man won’t listen, and not long after that, the man his dead.

Hux becomes Hux, and starts making plans. The weapon has been in development since he was small. Like the cathedrals built by primitive societies, it is the work of more than one generation. Those who laid its foundations will never see it completed.

Kylo Ren is a sensitive man beneath his dark rind of armor. When Hux feels Ren’s watery black eyes on the back of his neck, he knows what he has to do. His body may not be much, but it’s enough to bait this beaten dog with. It’s not hard to get Ren into his bed to fumble around. Hux is pale and smooth, and Ren is embarrassingly grateful. In this way, he keeps Ren occupied- distracted from his plans until the moment they come to fruition.

“Traitor!” Ren screams, throwing Hux across the room with his power. The back of Hux’s head cracks against a control panel on the wall. He staggers around, seeing spots. Tasting blood, he looks up to see Ren charging at him, ready to tear him apart.

“Listen to me,” he shouts. Instead of fleeing, he runs towards Ren, tackling him, wrapping both arms around his broad shoulders and trying to hold him still. “I’ve seen his plans, his future! He is consuming you, and he won’t stop until he’s consumed us all!” Ren’s hands tighten around his ribcage, and he feels a growing pressure at his throat. “Kill me,” he chokes. “It makes no difference.”

Ren drops him. “What have you done?!”

Hux gestures around the control room. “The weapon is engaged- you can’t stop it from here. I led you here on purpose so you couldn’t interfere with the ignition.”

Ren thrashes, tearing panels from the walls and ripping open the wiring. “How could you betray us like this-?” he roars. “I thought we were- You made me feel-” He trembles helplessly. “Hux, how could you do this to me?”

Hux braces himself against a console, panting. “I’m sorry, but there was no other way. If you could see what I see-”

“No,” Ren’s eyes widen in recognition. “It can’t be.” He grabs Hux’s upper arms, shaking him. “You receive portents from the Force?!”

“I don’t know,” says Hux, his voice cracking. His heart is pounding. “I don’t know anything about the Force. But I had to stop him.”

The red light of the beam fills the windows, momentarily blinding them. Hux slumps forward, empty, his life’s purpose fulfilled. Ren lets out a blood-stopping scream, his bond with his master severed as the planet where Snoke dwells is obliterated. He collapses onto his knees, cursing and weeping. “You don’t understand,” he cries. “I can’t- without him, I can’t-!”

Hux kneels, shuffling towards him. “I’m sorry,” he shudders.

Ren grabs him, wrestling him to the floor. “What am I going to do?” he wails.

“I don’t know,” says Hux softly. “Take it out on me if you have to.” The nightmare is over. He’s done the impossible, saved everything. He’s not afraid to die. Ren falls limp and heavy on top of him, and he wraps cautious arms around Ren’s waist. The broken control panels beep and fizz, marring the silence between them.

“Help me,” Ren pleads. “I can’t bear the pain. Don’t let go of me.”

Hux kisses his forehead, caressing his shoulders and back. “Oh, Ren,” he smiles. “I- I don’t have any other plans after this.” He laughs, lightheaded and shaky with receding adrenaline. Ren melts against him, enthralled by his touches. “I can hold you for-” Hux slurs. “I can hold you forever. I have nowhere else to be.”
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weirdlet:

Another Kylux AU, this one based firmly off of @solohux‘s exiled hux AU, but with added omegaverse nonsense because that’s how we (@iainkillsrobots and I) roll.  Hux is hauled off into exile in the wake of the Starkiller disaster- left to rot on an icy planet far from civilization.  By the time Kylo finds him, he’s been stripped down to the bare essence of survival- and he’s viciously opposed to returning to the people and the organization that he thinks betrayed him.

But like soothing a feral animal gone savage from need, Kylo works his way through the layers to find the core of Hux as he knew him, still there- and hiding a desperate secret. 

Malnutrition.  A persistent chest infection that just won’t go away, no matter how many soothing soups he can make out of animal bones and fat scraps, and which leaves him coughing new and exciting colors every day.  Windburn that leaves him looking and feeling like some diseased street-beggar, except there is no begging of kindly passers-by here- only an abandoned fort that he managed to hammer into a semblance of weather-soundness before the big snows came, and what he can catch with his bare hands.  No one is stealing this command from me, he mutters to himself, when he can laugh instead of despair at his situation.  Who would want it?

And under it all- a skinny seven-months’ belly, that by rights should have been long flattened with hunger.  And that, almost entirely alone, is what convinces him to listen to Kylo’s seductive words and accept his gingerly offered ration-packets.  A soothing touch.  The promise of medbay, and food on the regular.  This is what pulls him back from the brink, not the loyalty of his troops and officers or the offer of the rule of the First Order on a platter, along with Snoke’s head.  I wish I had known, the Force user whispers, eyes wide without his mask.  I would have crawled out of the bacta tank and come here without a stop, had I known.
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solohux:

happy halloween! ✨

i wrote some vampire kylo (◡‿◡✿)

It’s the feeling of a cold presence leering over him that rouses Hux from sleep.

He knows he hasn’t been asleep for too long, and feels more than reluctant to open his eyes but he does, seeing the strong silhouette of his vampire looming over his sleeping form. Hux blinks slowly as the mattress dips underneath Kylo’s weight as he sits down on the edge of the bed, his hip touching Hux’s.

“What time is it?” Hux asks, sitting up slightly to try and look at the clock on his bedside table.

“12:44am. I know, I’m sorry,” Kylo replies, sliding his cold hand up to cup Hux’s cheek, rubbing softly over his sharp cheekbone, though his hand doesn’t stay there for long. Slowly, and menacingly, his fingers slide down to the pulse point on the underside of Hux’s jaw, caressing it with his cold fingers. “But I’m hungry.”

Hux groans, rubbing his eyes. Even the thought of Kylo feeding from him again makes the healing wounds on his arms and neck throb, anticipating being pierced by Kylo’s fangs. But Hux owes the vampire his life; this is his penance.

“Fine. Arm or neck?” Hux asks, pushing himself up onto his elbows, only to feel Kylo’s strong hand push him back down.

“Neck,” the vampire replies, moving to straddle himself over Hux’s slim hips, his wild and dark hair falling in front of him like a cursed waterfall.

Hux swallows hard, feeling slightly crushed by Kylo’s dead weight atop of him, but he doesn’t voice his discomfort. There’s something about his vampire that never fails to lure Hux back in until he’s begging to be drank from, begging to be the only one to satiate Kylo’s hunger. He needs to be told how good he is, how good he tastes…but Hux would never admit that he gets off on it. He doesn’t doubt that Kylo would whisk him away to his hideout and transform him into a permanent blood slave.

Kylo’s cold lips engulf Hux’s in a rough kiss, a tremble of anticipation spreading across Hux’s skin.

“Relax,” Kylo whispers, dragging his fangs back across Hux’s bottom lip, drawing blood, lapping it up with a flick of his tongue. “My good boy.”

Hux moans, feeling overcome with the excitable desire to be used for Kylo’s needs. He allows his head to fall to the side, his heart pounding furiously in his chest, his blood flowing rapidly through his veins.

“Say it,” Kylo orders, moving agonisingly slowly towards a soft spot on Hux’s neck.

“Taste me,” Hux begs, arching his back. “Drink from me. I’m yours, Ren. Please.”

Kylo gives a low chuckle before he swipes his tongue across an attractive spot on Hux’s jugular, tasting his skin before biting down harshly with his sharp fangs. Hux grits his teeth to suppress his cry as he feels blood flow from the wound, but his body is pinned down underneath Kylo’s abnormally strong body, his thin hips stuck between Kylo’s knees. The vampire sucks him, lapping at the fresh wound on his neck, nipping and caressing the skin to stimulate the flow of Hux’s blood.

“My delicious boy,” Kylo croons, lifting his head for a moment, his pale lips covered in crimson.

Hux swallows hard. Kylo’s eyes have turned an ominous shade of red, as though his irises themselves have filled with blood. He stares down at Hux, teasingly running his tongue over his dripping fangs.

“I’m here to serve you,” Hux says, knowing how much the vampire appreciates the power play between them. “My Lord. My Master. Please. Feed from me.”

“Mm, my beautiful human,” Kylo says before going back to lap at the wound, suckling with a ferocious need, and Hux finds his own breaths synchronising with Kylo’s sucks, aiding his own blood flow. “So good for me.”

Hux moans, feeling his consciousness beginning to waver, black creeping in on his vision.

“Ren…”

“Ssh, I know, Hux,” Kylo whispers, climbing off of Hux’s shaking body and opens the drawer, pulling out a cleansing wipe and a plaster. He swabs the wound clean before sticking the pale plaster over the bite marks in an identical repeat of their routine.

Hux lifts his hand to Kylo’s cheek, brushing his knuckles against his freezing skin.

“Sleep, my precious Hux,” Kylo breathes, taking hold of the human’s limp hand and kissing it gently before  lowering it back down onto the bed. “You’ve served me well.”

Hux smiles, his body and mind obeying Kylo’s wishes, drifting into a deep sleep, unknowing that his vampire stays to watch over his copper jewel until dawn.
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solohux:

imagine Hux’s personal journal being like

Entry #27Master Kylo Ren came on board today. I dislike him immensely.

Entry #54 Ren destroyed one of the navigation consoles on the bridge today. Impertinent child.

Entry #78Supreme Leader Snoke has informed me that Ren is a joint commander of the ship and that threatening to throw him out of the airlock is inappropriate behaviour.

Entry #97I saw Ren’s face for the first time. Disgusting, just like the rest of him. His deep, brown eyes are the worst.

Entry #123We fucked. I showed him who’s in charge.

Entry #140 Ren is going on a three month mission tomorrow. I’d tell him that I’m going to miss him but that would be lying.

Entry #145It’s quiet without him.

Entry #150I don’t miss him.

Entry #159I find my concentration elusive.

Entry #170I don’t miss him.

Entry #183I don’t miss him.

Entry #190I miss him.

Entry #200I wonder if he misses me. Unlikely.

Entry #218Ren came home today. He marched straight past me without saying a word. I haven’t felt that much pain since I shattered my fist hitting a wall when I was 19.

Entry #219He was on his knees in my quarters. Said he sensed my desire for him to come back. I kissed him. He kissed me.

Entry #223Master Kylo Ren has been on board the Finalizer for 196 days. I love him immensely.
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thesunandoceanblue:

But imagine Kylo using bastard as an insult (because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know the General’s best kept secret)

And it shouldn’t bother Hux. It shouldn’t. It shouldn’t because it’s all he heard at the Academy. He tucked that part of him well away.

It shouldn’t bother Hux but he absolutely punches that son-of-a-bitch (since they’re apparently doing parental slurs now) in the mouth.
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thissisatitle:

tfw when your bf ruins all of the credibility you built these last 30 years at work
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oh I’m so glad you like it!!

and wow, prepare yourself for some hux angst (exiled hux gifset here!)

Exiled Hux would be so dangerous

Think he was merciless when he was a General? Wait until he’s had to fight for everything he’s got including the clothes on his back and the blaster in his hand, reducing himself down to nothing but flesh and bones, rebuilding himself until everything he owns on this little frozen planet, he’s fought for.

He’s had everything taken from him for mistakes that weren’t even his. Starkiller wasn’t his fault; Phasma lowered the shields, Kylo let the oscillator be blown up from the inside, Kylo let Rey and Finn escape, none of this was his fault but because Starkiller was under his command, he’s first in line for execution.

But one day, when Hux looks out of the cracked window of his hut, he sees a familiar shuttle approaching and his heart freezes over because this isn’t what he wanted, he wanted to be alone, everyone else has abandoned him, everyone else is his enemy…even Kylo, the one who Hux thought was different.

And suddenly Kylo is walking towards him, clad in black, looking like some sort of grim reaper in the crisp white background of the snow, come to save Hux from his agonising misery (but honestly Hux would never beg for death, it’d be too easy to do that).

Kylo talks quickly, claiming to have killed Snoke for Hux’s safety, that the First Order needs a ruler and Kylo knows that Hux should be at the helm. ‘Emperor Hux,’ Kylo says. Hux feels nothing.

Hux doesn’t want to see Kylo, he doesn’t want to go back into the regime that cast him aside after everything he’d done for them. He’s no longer a part of anything, no longer associated with the First Order, or with Kylo Ren. They’ve all betrayed him.

Because the ice and snow and freezing temperatures of the planet that he’s been abandoned on is nothing compared to the bitterness and the frigid anguish that’s been swelling inside of him in a cold storm for the entire time he’s spent alone, alone in his own mind, driving himself to survive, to prove them wrong.

But then Kylo takes his mask off and Hux feels warm for the first time in a long time and it takes all of his energy to keep his cold scowl on his face, forcing back the memories of hearing Kylo cry out ‘NO!’ when Snoke had given the order for Hux to be exiled, the memories of seeing Kylo reach out for him as Hux is dragged away by guards before being forcefully knocked unconscious and dumped on this frozen wasteland.

It’s too late for apologies, Hux thinks. He’s being punished for Kylo’s mistakes. And Kylo allowed this to happen. Kylo could go anywhere, be anyone, and Hux is in purgatory, existing and not living. It isn’t fair.

But when has life ever been fair, Armitage?

But to Hux, this feeling of having to earn the right to live and survive is familiar to him; he’s done this before under the callous gaze of his father and other imperials who were expecting so much from him, too much.

He’ll always fight, claw at the ground and fight with everything he’s got just so he can call himself Hux and not just Armitage.
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sigalawin:

kill the boy and let the man be born
based on @smol-hux‘s headcanons!! specifically the “Hux was the type of child to try and rescue injured animals” one yes hello and goodbye
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habitualfacepalmer:

Kylo Ren and Hux in a Anakin-and-Padmé-on-Naboo situation, but flipped on its head: 

They hide away in the isolated countryside of Hux’s homeworld Arkanis as Anakin and Padmé did on Naboo.

But it’s not to protect Hux from assassination, but rather to keep Ren out of trouble. After some angst-driven tomfoolery in the first act where Leia probably almost brings Ben back, Snoke orders Hux to get Ren out of the way for the second act until he’s ready to put him to use in the third.

Ren thinks he’s on some sort of retreat to recharge after the light-saber duels and explosions of the first act. Hux thinks he’s in Hell. 

Because many reasons, but namely because Arkanis is Space England where it does nothing but rain and there’s nothing but nerf pasture for as far as the eye can see, it’s nothing but nerf meat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and Hux is trapped in the same house as his father and Kylo Ren. 

There’s no frolicking in a sunny meadow with Kylo trying to ride a nerf, no fruit floated across the dinner table, and there’s absolutely nothing “soft” about it. 

Instead, Ren keeps calling Hux a nerf herder, dinner is a sanctified peace zone where Ren and Hux put up a united front of sass against Brendol, and Hux complains to/kind of confides in Ren that he hates the rain. Ren agrees. 

The dreary atmosphere actually starts affecting Ren’s mood it seems. He goes from constantly seething to deeply depressed, descending further and further as the second act goes on until he’s not even leaving his bedchamber in the Hux home. Brendol complains to Hux about him screaming in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Hux is dealing with his awful father being, well, an awful father. Not to mention the old Imperial officers Brendol keeps company with disparaging him at every turn. And on top of that, his communication with Snoke becomes more confrontational. Snoke clearly doesn’t value Hux as much as he should. Hux clearly is chaffing at the collar he wears with Snoke and Brendol’s leashes attached.

One night, Hux is roused by Ren screaming across the mansion over a violent thunderstorm. Fed up with Kylo giving Brendol ammo to come after him, Hux marches into Ren’s room and shakes him from his nightmare. 

Ren expresses vulnerability in his depressed, sleep-derived state. He talks about his mother and his mixed feelings about her tearing him apart as his feelings about Han did, but somehow missing her and fearing what Snoke might ask of him in the third act. Hux feels a pang of sympathy at the same time a thought strikes him. He visibly makes a decision and tells Ren how he was taken away from his mother to be a tool. Just like Ren.

The next morning, Brendol Hux is given a harsh awakening: a lightsaber through the chest. His last sight is his son standing over him with Kylo Ren by his side. They kill all his bodyguards and his old Empire buddies next . They have the bodies burned in an unsightly pile in the middle of a nerf pasture, highly disrespectful in comparison to the burial of Shmi Skywalker, yet a thousand times more satisfying than Anakin’s massacre of the Tusken Raiders.

Snoke calls them back to the field. Hux and Ren seem to go along with Snoke’s plans, giving our protagonists and the Resistance a run for their money, seeming every bit as intent as Snoke on whatever evil objective has been in the works since TFA.  

Then Hux shoots Snoke in the face. Everyone in the galaxy is shocked. The climatic third act battle doesn’t really end because either side won; everyone is just so confused that both sides fall back to regroup and absorb this game changing event. Leia glares mistrustfully at a holo-image of Hux for hours afterwards; she does not ship it. 

Hux and Ren’s equivalent of the cheesy secret sunset wedding is Hux’s coronation as Emperor on a rare sunny day on Arkanis. 

(brb, I’m gonna go write this)

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