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hikarusullu:

My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?

Happy New Year @daisyridlay !!
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spicyshimmy:

prose and khans, by james t. kirk

invented in russia, by pavel a. chekov

have you met my plants, by hikaru sulu

vulcans not vulcants, by s'chn t'gai spock

rephrase that, by montgomery scott

a little flight music, by nyota u. uhura

i should have said no, by leonard h. mccoy

i did say no but nobody listened, by leonard h. mccoy

in space nobody can hear you scream but listen harder because i’m shouting at you, by leonard h. mccoy
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letthatbeyourlegacy7:

From the William Shatner Star Trek documentary “The Captains”. 

This makes me feel so happy. I can’t even say.
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cassandrasdreamworld:

plaguemd:

the concept of a healslut is fucking hilarious to me because have you ever fucking played a healer

have you ever met a healer

healers are almost always the saltiest, angriest people in any given group comp and there is nothing and nobody we hate more than someone that makes us do our goddamn jobs and actually healwe are angry little balls of spite who will stop healing you if you’re being stupid or pissing us off because we hold the key to life and death in our hands and more importantly fuck you

what im saying is if you’re going to try and eroticize the healer/tank dynamic, the healer is not the submissive party here

@blackkatmagic

I feel like this is Salazar xD

(edit: I honestly feel complimented reading all the comments/tags LOL xD I am a healer and most of the descriptions are 100% accurate bwahahahahahahaha don’t let my chummy 1,55m looks mislead you I’m EVIL (yes I’m a little shit okay ;-; (and if you fucked up, sorry but nothing can make me ever forgive you)))

…why am I suddenly picturing a certain infamous Star Trek healer?
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pkmndaisuki:

pinchtheprincess:

teroknortailor:

talk-nerdy-to-me-thyla:

soidreamtiwasastarfleetcommander:

ponnearponfarponwhereveryouare:

not-in-front-of-the-klingons:

*Knocks on door* Do you have some free time to talk about our lord and savior Jean-luc Picard?

*lifts up one mug of earl gray and another of coffee* Only if you also wish to talk of our lady and savior Kathryn Janeway.

*crawls through your kitchen window with baseball gear* HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS OF THE EMISSARY OF THE PROPHETS, BENJAMIN SISKO

*BUSTS THROUGH YOUR SKYLIGHT* HAVE YOU ACCEPTED SUNSHINE CHILD JAMES T PERFECT HAIR AS UR HUMBLE SPACE GOD OF DEMOCRACY YET

*SHINES DOWN UPON YOU IN A BEAM OF BRILLIANT LIGHT* HAS IT BEEN A LONG ROAD, GETTIN’ FROM THERE TO HERE? HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME? IS YOUR TIME IS FINALLY HERE? CAN YOU SEE YOUR DREAM COME ALIVE AT LAST? CAN YOU TOUCH THE SKY? ARE THEY STILL GONNA HOLD YOU DOWN AND ARE THEY STILL GONNA CHANGE YOUR MIND? HAVE YOU GOT FAITH OF THE HEART? ARE YOU GOING WHERE YOUR HEART WILL TAKE YOU? HAVE YOU GOT FAITH TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING? DO YOU HAVE STRENGTH OF THE SOUL? IS NO ONE GONNA BEND OR BREAK YOU? CAN YOU REACH ANY STAR?

DO YOU HAVE FAITH?

DO YOU HAVE FAITH? FAITH OF THE HEEEEEEART???

Beseech your gods. 

@starfleetsveryown
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theotherguysride:

sanerontheinside:

@lilyrose225writes 

They have the exact same expression of ‘fuck all of this and fuck everything and fuck you too, Sah” on and Im dying. 
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istadris:

You will pry from my dead cold body the headcanon that at least one Proud Warrior Race the Enterprise interacted with asked for “the bravest and most fearsome warrior of your crew whose legends are sung among our people and who dances with death everyday ” and everyone thinks they’re talking about Jim or Spock but they’re like “no no, it’s him” and points at McCoy.

(He’s very unhappy about it and not just half of the tales they say about him involve him scaring diseases away with his frowny eyebrows)
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deadcatwithaflamethrower:

theotherguysride:

ciiriianan:

dragon-in-a-fez:

dragon-in-a-fez:

the-real-seebs:

roachpatrol:

underscorex:

megabeeprime:

froborr:

roachpatrol:

roachpatrol:

prokopetz:

writebastard:

prokopetz:

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles,
tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they
don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight
them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit
space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely
as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the
process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and
accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually
happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

Yeah, I love this.

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.

you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.

you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus,
testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful
of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation
of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop
a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do?
do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just
see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey,
while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.

“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.

“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high-fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.

there
must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human
engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every
single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our
assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate
built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten
it.”

Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.

Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”

“That was ONE TIME.” 

There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity. 

And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”

There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”

reblog for new meta. RE that last line: McGuyver. 

“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.

Just imagine what the Vulcans would make of ‘Girl Genius’.
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imagine-jim-bones-and-spock:

Imagine, for some major holiday, Bones’s daughter sends him a video with the instructions to play it in front of everybody. Bones has no idea what the video is, but he goes along with it anyway because it’s his baby girl, how bad can it be?

So he gathers everyone in the mess hall or on the recreation deck, and everybody is there with drinks and snacks and they’re all excited because “Aww, Bones’s daughter. She must want to tell us all good luck on our mission.” Bones turns on the video and it starts off very seriously, as seriously as a little kid can make it look. There’s a zooming shot of the stars or something, then it cuts to a very obviously handmade (and cardboard) starship bridge and somebody whispers “Joanna, lower the camera” and it pans down and we see a teeny-tiny gold-shirted kid sitting in the captain’s chair. He says “I’m Cap'ain James T. Kirk and this is my science oss'fer, Mis'er Sock”

It progresses the way an episode of TOS would go if it was written, acted, produced and directed by children (which it obviously was)

“Kirk” has a speech impediment and tells “Uhura” at one point to get away from him because girls have cooties; plus the sleeves of his shirt are way too long for him so he just grabs things with the shirt instead of pushing the sleeves up

“Uhura” is the “bossy older girl who has to stop the boys from fighting” stereotype but she rocks it

“Spock” has to lead an away team into “Kirk’s” bedroom to save him from the monsters under his bed because, obviously, those are the monsters in this episode

“Sulu” can only give his lines AT FULL VOLUME AND IN ONE TONE OF VOICE ONLY

“Chekov” has so much stage fright that he pees his pants

“Bones” is totally not Joanna this older kid who has a really hard time looking grumpy

All the special effects were made with arts and crafts supplies and all the effects were done by the kids too

Somebody’s thumb ends up in the shot halfway through

You can hear somebody laughing in the background when “Kirk” screams about cooties

At the end there’s a montage with everybody’s name and the character they played, and the credits roll up the screen and you see that the kids did all the production themselves and the last line is “To Daddy from Joanna” and everybody on the Enterprise loses it

Kirk loves the video so much that he legitimately considered going back to Earth right now so that he could hug Joanna

Bones is so proud of his little girl

@cihojuda this is an amazing idea!!! I could imagine the whole thing perfectly, and it’s the cutest thing!! Joanna is quite the creative one <3

Thank you so much for submitting this!!
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cthulhu-with-a-fez:

hellenhighwater:

Translation from the Vulcan: go fuck yourselves you bigoted assholes

@fialleril

This is almost literally what I say every time I watch this scene.
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vu1can:

bishybarnaby:

spinningdust:

breathegeek:

Leonard McCoy thinks you are absolutely trippin.

Leonard McCoy: patron saint of grumpybutts.

Our Leonard who art in sickbay
Hallow’d be thy Eyebrow
Thy nurses run
Thy physicals be done
On Earth as they are in this flying tin can
Give us this day our daily hypospray
And forgive us our away missions
As we forgive those who pull phasers against us
Lead us not into the transporter
But deliver us from Andorian shingles
For thine is the biobed, the quarantine and the Captain
Now and until the hull cracks and our blood boils in thirteen seconds
DAMMIT JIM.

i think my heart just stopped from how awesome that was

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