via
http://ift.tt/2F5zcv2adiscworldinagalaxyfarfaraway:
starlitservos:
I’ve been thinking a lot about discworld lately and I’ve been thinking a lot about star wars too, so naturally that led to thinking about discworld+star wars, so this is what I’ve come up with (my star wars and discworld are both rusty though so I’ll probably forget some important people and add on later). it’s not a cohesive universe because let’s be real, if sam vimes were around, the empire would not have happened.
rincewind finally gets a break and decides to take a quiet vacation to somewhere where nothing exciting happens
unfortunately for him that place was alderaan
he gets there right after it blows up and the death star tractor beams his ship in, he and the luggage escape with the dianoga. they settle down on a little moon around this planet, you’ve probably never heard of it, called endor–
death and the force are buds, they have tea on the weekends and share pictures of their grandkids
susan and luke make really awkward smalltalk at a family reunion. guess whose x-wing crashes next to whose classroom a week later
after that she helps him rebuild the jedi order from scratch, and does a bang-up job, too
back when the republic was around, vetinari kept really good relations with people like mon mothma and queen amidala and made vaguely threatening comments at palpatine, but mainly kept to his city (directly at least)
probably talked to qui gon a lot too
the watch once served as bodyguards for a diplomatic mission from naboo
it was perhaps an error to set colon, nobby, and detritus to guard jar-jar but vimes couldn’t spare anyone else
carrot and anakin have a weird conversation that’s Totally Not About Being The Chosen One, and carrot gives anakin relationship advice while also tracking people suspected of going after the queen. vimes and obi-wan aren’t quite sure what to make of all this
padme, angua, and cheery get attacked and stranded, they fight their way back to the city in a series of pretty awesome adventurers and the queen is their friend for life
gaspode takes up residence outside the jedi temple and has the time of his fucking life messing with them
the librarian nearly faints when he sees all the stuff in the jedi archives just…right there, not even chained up or anything. no one knows quite what to do when an orangutan starts lugging one of their shelves out the door
the jedi look down their noses at the uu until the day someone hits mustrum ridcully with a lightsaber and it bounces off
one day a baby is born at tir nanny ogg and the jedi come to collect them. this is when nanny learns about the jedi order’s bullshit with family and emotions. from that day forward they live by her whim alone
she sits in on council meetings and sings lewd songs under her breath, no matter how many knights they set to keep her out. it’s not long before they all look to her before finalizing decisions, but no one’s quite sure how it happened
sam vimes arrests both palpatine and yoda for deploying a slave army. sibyl takes a break from her new hobby of rancor breeding to set up a program to integrate the clones into society and research a way to slow down their accelerated ageing
every single golem in the city volunteers to help
non-fett-clone soldiers like finn also go through this program
after that finn and poe buddy-cop their way up the ranks of the watch
one time they babysit young sam and foil a kidnapping attempt, from that point forward they are the favorite uncles
luke gets trained by granny weatherwax instead of yoda. she claims she only keeps him around because you likes artoo
he brings leia to meet her and they get along like a house on fire. luke is terrified
after granny dies (which doesn’t happen for a long long time, shutup) she gives yoda the talking to of his (after)life. all the jedi really. then she goes with death like the old friend he is, with a final cutting remark about how *she* doesn’t have to stick around to know her students are doing well
moist and han once conned each other, leaving both of them with basically nothing (except the falcon, not even moist would try for that)
five years later moist ends up working with leia setting up the new republic. it’s a miracle he survives with his arms attached
I know the eu isn’t real anywhere but in my heart anymore but i feel like moist should meet nom anor. it’s been too long since I read anything with him to say how that should go though
and I would like to know what the yuuzhan vong would do if they met the great a'tuin
tiffany and rey are the universe’s most unstoppable tag-team
kylo ren, literally any time he opens his mouth: *gets clocked in the head by a frying pan*
drumknott and threepio start a book club
I feel ya friend, that’s why I made this blog (yes, I promise it’ll get a bit more active again soon).
(Your picture was not posted)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
