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hamelin-born replied to your photo “@distressedherbalist @kingofhoursgemstones @angelrider13 @luxroyalty…”
Ardyn probably sticks Aldercapt with the /costs/ for said wedding.
He does. And it’s obvious what he’s doing, but Aldercapt can’t do a thing about it because diplomacy and leverage, and it’s beautiful.
@theperidotshade
Listen, this is Ardyn’s big ‘fuck you’ to Niflheim, and he’s not be particularly subtle about it - he’s sticking all the costs on Iedolas, he’s demanding a dress made by one very partciular artist, he’s requesting flowers from this one very specific location in the middle of nowhere - Ardyn is going whole hog and loving it.
And if he’s leveraging the wedding shamelessly to get people out of Niflheim and push several other political goals forward at the same time? That’s just Ardyn.
@hamelin-born
Ardyn toes the very fine line between ‘blow out festivities’ and ‘PR nightmare’, and repays Iedolas’ obstinacy during the negotiations with equally ridiculous demands that Iedolas can’t refuse.
The limitless champagne provided to every guest was probably excessive, but it was so fun to watch all the stuffy dignitaries get staggering drunk on only a flute (crystal, the good stuff) or two because it was Ardyn’s special recipe, which he’s been storing away for centuries—not his oldest surviving vintage, but still older than pretty much anything the attendees were accustomed to. If he was going to have alcohol present, he wanted the stuff that would actually get him buzzed.
He demands sylleblossoms flown in from Tenebrae—ethically sourced, of course, no slave labor, my dear Emperor, this is meant to be a happy occasion—partly to poke Shiva smugly by appropriating Oracle symbolism, and partly to be a pain in Iedolas’ ass by forcing him to either pay Tenebraeans a fair wage for their labor or support Tenebraean business by purchasing them.
The napkins are all linen embroidered in gold thread, with a scale-like pattern that looks suspiciously draconian. Because this isn’t just a ‘fuck you’ to Niflheim—it’s a ‘fuck you’ to Bahamut too.
The cake is made with the most expensive chocolate and fruit Ardyn could find, and he may have gone overboard with the edible gold leaf, but it’s a royal wedding, after all. It’s almost expected of him.
There’s a more practical side to a lot of his demands, though, because he never does anything with only one purpose.
He demands a very special dress, from a specific dressmaker who had to be flown in from Niflheim at Iedolas’ expense, yes. But that was because they design and tailor all his clothes—they’re the only one he trusts to keep his scars secret, who knows how to cover as much skin as possible without it looking purposeful. The fact that this particular gown has some very rare feathers on it that cost an arm and a leg, is covered in actual gold thread embroidery, and has natural, not cultured, pearls sewn over the entire bodice—well, the beauty of it distracts from what he’s hiding, but he and the dressmaker are also united in being petty in Iedolas’ direction.
The jewelry is the biggest ‘fuck you’ though. Because this is a marriage alliance, and traditionally in Niflheim, the Imperial Crown supplies the gems—from the Imperial family’s heirlooms. This was mostly because usually the bride or groom was themselves an Aldercapt, but this particular tradition is so set in stone because the nobility emulate it on a smaller scale that Iedolas has to abide by it or risk losing face to his nobles. So Ardyn, a Lucis Caelum, is marrying a Lucis Caelum who happens to be a rival head of state, wearing Iedolas’ family heirlooms.
(I love this ‘verse so much)
@theperidotshade
This ‘verse is just so fun!
Regis et al are probably just blinking and settling back to watch the spectacle - at least at first. I wonder if some of them - might join in in the fun? Insert one or more of their own ridiculous demands in there? Well - not overtly, but I can most definitely see troll!Regis gently pointing out how no, it’s the wrong season entirely for [insert fruit here], it would have to be imported at great expense from [insert place here]. As a matter of fact, the only fruit more expensive to get would be [insert name name]. (Ardyn looks at his fiancee: Genius.). Because, well, the Lucian contingent can’t directly provoke the Niflheimr, but there’s a certain spiteful pleasure all its own in enabling Ardyn like this.
(Also, Regis probably isn’t entirely against inventing new traditions out of whole cloth, if it came down to it.)
Also - the Lucian Nobility probably fucking love the wedding. Yes, this is what a royal wedding is supposed to be like! The ornate decorations! The obscenely expensive delicacies+alcohol! The all-but-over-the-top glamor! Yes, the new Royal Consort is clearly an individual of discerning taste and fashion - just look at that dress, they must get the name of Consort Izunia’s tailor, it’s to die for. (Regis, meanwhile, is in despair. He can’t believe he actually rules a country of these idiots.) Oh well, at least the fuss and bother of a Royal Wedding meant to sign literally the first treaty they’ve had with Niflheim in, well, ever - the social event of the decade, if not the century - is keeping most of them busy with preparations of their own rather then politics.
…Regis+Ardyn probably get a large number of wedding gifts, some in good taste, some not. (Pity poor Clarus+Cor, who have to comb through all of said gifts in the name of Security.) There are more then enough to fill a literal ballroom, most likely, and - well, I imagine that Ardyn and Regis and Noctis might spent some happy times together opening gifts and just laughing at some of the ridiculous things people gave them. …on the other hand, there are probably a few that are in very good taste that they might actually use - warm quilts and woven blankets from masters of the craft etc, and Ardyn probably quite likes the tea set that Cor got him and Regis.
…I’d imagine that Ardyn also takes advantage of the sheer chaos that is the wedding to sneak people - his people, who wouldn’t be coming as administrative staff - out of Niflheim. The dressmaker is flown in? Ardyn offers them and their family permanent retainer, in Lucis. The catering company? The jewelers, the individuals sent to source everything - Ardyn is getting everyone he can out.
@hamelin-born
Regis absolutely enables Ardyn’s ridiculous petty revenge and revels in it. He can’t be too obvious about it, but he definitely gets in a shot or two of his own.
(Clarus feels a sense of impending doom, and desperately hopes they don’t team up like this very often, please Six, think of his sanity.)
(Regis can’t straight up invent traditions because with the wedding in Insomnia, it’d be too easy to fact-check. No, what he does instead is dig up the really old, outdated, ridiculous precedents and revive them. Niflheim can’t argue that the Fierce didn’t have twelve hundred sword dancers in his wedding procession, after all. Incidentally, and unbeknownst to Regis, he also revives a custom from Ardyn’s time—the presentation of the newly wed royals with a matched set of bejeweled daggers. Ardyn is pleased. His mother started that custom.)
The Lucian nobility love the whole thing un-ironically, yes. Completely oblivious to just how salty Ardyn is being, how Regis is 100% encouraging this. They are conveniently too preoccupied to cause trouble—which, by the way, was something Ardyn considered when he made the plans.
Yes, to the wedding gifts. There are so many, only a handful are in good taste, and a good 80% of them are transparent attempts at sucking up to them. There were also a few poisoning attempts hidden among them (Clarus and Cor desperately need vacations).
The ones that they cherish are all the more meaningful for being hidden among the junk.
Ardyn does. He’s not leaving any of his people in harm’s way. And, well, what better excuse?
@theperidotshade
…Clarus probably sees the matching expressions of sheer trollish glee hidden behind a nigh-impervious political mask on Ardyn and Regis’ faces and despairs. They’re enabling one another. Sweet Six they’re all but egging each other on, with Regis digging out more and more obscure Lucian marriage customs for Ardyn to choose from like - like a row of diamonds artistically arranged on a sprawl of black velvet. (Oh, if only Regis was as dedicated to his actual work then this spontaneous research spree. Clarus has heard. Disturbing cackling echoing from the depths of the Royal Archives recently.)
It’s shaping up to be the gaudiest, almost-but-not-quite over-the-top wedding celebration in living memory, and Ardyn is reveling in it. And Regis, much to his surprise, finds himself rather enjoying it as well. He was perfectly prepared to endure a marriage of convenience, but Ardyn is almost a friend by this point - is at least someone Regis can get along with, and it’s outright fun to tweak Iedolaus’ nose together. Besides. There’s a certain pleasure in going all out like this and indulging his own melodramatic impulses; it’s almost as if he and Ardyn are playing a practical joke on the entire world.
Plus. Regis isn’t paying for it! And once that one small fact has time to properly settle in, Regis is perfectly all right with Ardyn’s more - exotic demands/plans etc. He’s rather enjoying settling back and watching the Emperor’s face go as white as the tundra he rules as the costs keep getting totaled up. (The wedding might end up costing so damn much that it efficiently puts the Empire’s tentative schedule for renewed hostilities back by a few years - it takes /time/ to recover from that kind of spending. Ardyn: Ah excellent, just as planned.)
The Lucian/Insomnia wedding, fashion, dining, jewelry, flower, etc industries might unironically bless King Regis and Consort Ardyn (actually, what’s his official title again? I think you said once, but I misremember.) It’s a boon for their respective finances - after all, quite literally the entire Lucian population is going to try and copy this small-scale, plus - everyone needs new Formal Clothing, everyone is hosting at least a small party in celebration of the Royal Wedding/Treaty signing, everyone is getting into this.
*snicker* Any ideas for some of the more - ridiculous wedding gifts Regis and Ardyn receive? I’d imagine that some of the more expensive and in bad-taste ones get quietly sold off with the proceeds donated to various charities - on the other hand. Things like - like the hand-woven blanket from the master weaver, or the ornately carved window boxes complete with a selection of rare seeds are cherished - huh. Ardyn+Regis are probably going to end up writing so many thank-you notes. (Ardyn: It’s only polite.)
Also, Ardyn probably makes arrangements for his people - his office staff+families, speechwriter, PA, etc - to be flown in and settled in Insomnia prior to the ceremony, so they can share in the festivities. And each and every one of Ardyn’s people takes in the shit-eating grin on their boss’s face and knows exactly what that portends.
@hamelin-born
Regis was already friendly-but-not-quite-friends with Ardyn, but this is really what makes him realize that they could so easily cross that line into friendship. They are…very similar in some deep underlying ways, though how they manifest those traits is different. It’s promising, as far as Regis is concerned—he can really start to see a future with Ardyn.
(The wedding spending isn’t quite that bad, but it does set Niflheim back around six months, which is when they attack Galahd, btw. Doesn’t mean Regis and Ardyn enjoy the chaos any less.)
Not just Lucian businesses are benefiting, though; a wedding of this prestige and importance involves dignitaries from all over. Accordans, Tenebraeans, Niflheimr, and Lucians—they’re all hyped for one reason or another, and someone from everywhere has been invited. This means a boom in business for all sorts of artisans, decorators, shopkeepers, etc. all over Eos, to a certain degree. And it’s not like Ardyn’s restricting his demands to one region, either.
Ridiculous wedding gifts…hmm. A live, wild swan is probably the worst, especially since no one is sure how it was caught in the first place. There’s also the fully articulated life-size porcelain doll that looks suspiciously like it might be intended for sexy times but is extremely creepy. There’s the set of fabergé eggs given to them by a particularly pompous noble, which were discovered to have been actually stolen from Regis’ grandmother by said noble’s grandfather. There’s the massive stylized portrait of them posed like the only existing portrait of the Mystic and his wife, which makes Ardyn go dead white for some reason Regis isn’t going to pry into. And there’s the tapestry of them being blessed by Bahamut, which makes Ardyn laugh hysterically.
And then, yes, there are the tasteful gifts. The monogrammed linen sets, the hand-carved mahogany dressers with ebony inlay, the hand-crafted and -blended perfume/cologne, the fruit trees for the gardens. They don’t write the thank you notes themselves, just sign them, because the amount of paperwork they have to do is enormous at the moment, to get all the legal tidbits in order.
Ardyn definitely got his people to Insomnia before the wedding. They trade such amused, long-suffering looks every time he comes up with a new demand. They are also not-so-secretly gleeful at Iedolas’ displeasure. They are not exactly fond of their boss’ boss.
@theperidotshade
Regis knew Ardyn was a troll, but it’s - quite lovely to see Ardyn weaponizing said troll for Regis’ benefit. More or less. I mean, Regis does something similar on occasion, but Ardyn’s display is still an absolutely gorgeous demonstration of political and social acumen and sheer pettiness. And I think that the King - might be faintly surprised at just how much Ardyn manages to get *done* beneath the cover of the wedding - forging alliances, getting the nobility out of the way so they can get some real work in, extricating his people from the empire, laying in the foundations for his own power base/for various long-term projects and more - all at the same time.
(A mere six months later? I thought it was a few years down the line.)
*snicker* you know what? The wedding could *also* lead to an economic boom in Niflheim. You know, the country that Ardyn outright stated more or less depended on imports because there were *no* exports - the wedding, and all it entails, could lead to a substantial boost in - a lot of faltering businesses, and lead the citizens there to look up to Ardyn that much more. It’s a propaganda boom - for Ardyn. (And, yet again, something that Iedolas did not see coming.)
Ardyn’s people also band together, probably, to give him gifts of their own devising for his wedding. It’s - a few small things, more in-jokes then anything else, that Ardyn finds outright hysterical - a mug with ‘World’s Best Boss!’ written on it, a card signed by everyone in the office, five pounds of a particular coffee blend he tends to favor, a sympathy card to Regis again signed by everyone in the office - sometimes, Ardyn really, really appreciates his people.
@hamelin-born
Putting this under a cut for convenience.
Keep reading
@theperidotshade
Ardyn’s employees take the Citadel by storm in 1) Their sheer ruthless competence 2) their loyalty to Ardyn and 3) their various quirks.
Their competence is deeply welcomed, but - it’s a bit of a struggle, at least initially, to find positions for all these people. Not because there aren’t openings, but because Lucian Security is all too aware that this would be an *excellent* opportunity for the Empire to sneak spies into the administrative core of the Citadel.
Plus - it says something, about Ardyn. That there are so many people loyal to *him*. It says something about Ardyn, and it says something about the Empire.
What kind of quirks do you think Ardyn’s people would demonstrate?
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