I've been drowned beneath V:tM material for the last few days, and now all I can think of is Tzimisc

via http://bit.ly/2IcuhaY

oh nooooooo

Hamelin

Hamelin

now I’m thinking of Tzimisce Ardyn and how he masks how much of a monster he truly is with charming words and a handsome smile and im thinking of how others might mistake him for a Ventrue and how he knows how to use that to his advantage and now I’m coming up with lore about how Regis et all are related to him via Somnus (who died shortly after Ardyn reappeared a pity, truly) and how the line of Lucis is ancient but no one expected a Tzimisce to be one of them.

(and now: because im thinking about the VTM Royal Bastard AU; I’m thinking about the fact that Ardyn all but raised Ace and how Ace in turn is probably slightly more monstrous, more willing to do whatever it takes and discard any humanity he has, than Regis or Noctis.

Ace himself learned from the best after all, and there are times after meeting Ace that Regis can see something of a feral beast in his sons eyes.)
(Your picture was not posted)

Poem: Induction

via http://bit.ly/2QEAyjp

hamelin-born:

Inductionby hamelin_born

Fandom: Vampire: The Masquerade

Previously posted in its unedited form on Fanfiction.net.

Summary:

An introduction to the thirteen classic vampire Clans of Vampire: The Masquerade, as relaid by an exceptionally unreliable narrator.

Notes: robininthelabyrinth, I blame you. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

…also, I wrote this literally more then ten years ago, and I wrote it more for the fun of it then for the literary quality thereof. So I guess all that I’m saying is - be kind?

Keep reading

 my fanfic well my fan poetry vampire the masquerade why am i doing this i wrote this over ten years ago I BLAME YOU YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

sparklecryptid
(Your picture was not posted)

which camarilla clan should you fight

via http://bit.ly/2WlslqK

quakerlol:

imperator-in-exile:

quakerlol:

brujah: what the fuck is wrong with you? why would you want to fight the brujah? they kick people out of the clan if they don’t own enough switchblades and motorcycles. this will not end well. if you HAVE to fight the brujah, your best bet is to get them so mad that they start making bad decisions, but even then you’re probably fucked. don’t fight the brujah.

gangrel: these guys are all exactly as angry as the brujah but can also go full on animalistic fury at you. also they can melt into the earth and summon animals and shit. if you get lucky, you can distract them with some beggin’ strips or something, but don’t risk it. don’t fight the gangrel.

ventrue: if there are no consequences for this fight, then go for it. most ventrue got embraced straight out of the boardroom and have never thrown down a day in their unlives. however, if this ventrue has contacts, you had better believe you’re going to be hurting more than they will by the time they’re done with you. probably worth it, though. there’s a lot of people who want to see them punched in the face. fight the ventrue.

malkavian: honestly, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance with these guys. either they will melt your brain so hard that it’ll leak out of your ears or they will have no idea what the hell is going on. even if they aren’t entirely lucid, there’s still the possibility that they’ll socratic-method you into torpor. do it if you have to, but fighting the malks is not a good plan.

tremere: the bright side: if you fight the tremere, nobody is going to stop you. nobody fucking likes these guys. the drawback: if you fight the tremere, you are fighting the tremere. these guys can fly? they can summon fire??? they can give the laws of physics the middle finger if they want. however, if you find a tremere neonate, feel free to stuff that nerd in a locker.

nosferatu: this is an entire clan full of assholes with a chip on their shoulder. they can talk to rats. they can sneak around unseen despite being six feet tall and smelling like raw sewage. they probably know everything about you already. don’t let the sewer thing fool you: this clan could kick your ass and mine with their creepy hands tied behind their backs. don’t fight the nosferatu.

toreador: please. PLEASE. please fight the toreador. i don’t care what generation they are. i don’t care how many of them know celerity. punch them in their snooty faces. distract them with glitter. fuckin do it. i will pay you to fight the toreador. there are no downsides to fighting the toreador. if you win, you have beaten up a toreador. if you lose, everyone will probably still buy you a drink for trying. do it. fight the toreador.

Someone needs to add the rest of the clans. Tzimisce ought to be something special.

ok well since you asked

lasombra: this is legitimately the Asshole Clan. 100% of these guys are dicks. theyre pretentious as hell and theyre all chess nerds. sure, theyve got connections and political power and whatever, but fighting these guys will feel so good. get one talking about the precise elegance of his tea set and stab him while he’s distracted. fight the lasombra.

tzimisce: do you have a strong stomach? if not, dont fight these motherfuckers. if you punch them, you’re just gonna get stuck on their skin-barbs or something. if you strangle them, theyre probably gonna be weirdly into it. if you have a ranged weapon, though, do it. stay far far away from the tzimisce and kick their asses. fight the tzimisce.

assamites: what the hell????? no???? these guys’ ENTIRE DEAL is that they are assassins. they have a fucking mountain fortress where they train for years just to get better at killing people. even if you find an assamite neonate they’ve probably still kicked more ass than you ever have. don’t fight the assamites.

giovanni: do it. please fight the giovanni. they’re all sleazeballs. they’re the used car salesmen of the kindred, if used car salesmen also had a side business in necromancy and incest. fuck these guys. they’re gross. fight the giovanni.

ravnos: if you want to fight these guys, you probably have a good reason. they do crimes all the time and i can understand you wanting revenge. if you just want a fight, though, you could choose better clans. also if you fuck with one ravnos then the rest of them are gonna swarm you and unless you think you can take on every ravnos within a hundred mile radius, forget it. don’t fight the ravnos.

setites: this clan is the definition of “edgy on purpose.” these guys make sonic the hedgehog ocs who are like shadow but more badass and also have a gun that shoots knives. their stated goal is to prepare the world for the return of their “dark god” but they are such wusses about light that if you get them under a spotlight theyre basically useless. bring a flashlight or a lighter and fight the fucking setites.

salubri: good luck managing to find one, there’s like seven left. if you do find one, you could probably take them. they lose health for drinking from unwilling vessels. they could get knocked over by a strong breeze. but seriously. are you seriously gonna fight the salubri? what is wrong with you? do you hate all that is good in the world??? these are the cinnamon rolls of the kindred. dont fight the salubri unless you want everyone to know that you’re the biggest asshole ever.

sparklecryptid
(Your picture was not posted)