faeymouse: mi-vida-loca: lynati: faeymouse: tygermama: hamelin-born: faeymouse: Jaskier would...

via https://ift.tt/37XoGRG

faeymouse:

mi-vida-loca:

lynati:

faeymouse:

tygermama:

hamelin-born:

faeymouse:

Jaskier would have written all the ballads and bops about Renfri, just saying. She’d have been his muse. Nothing but Witchers and Black Sun Princesses.

theotherguysride

Yes but. But. But imagine Geralt slowly, painfully, telling Jaskier the story of Renfri. And Jaskier? He reacts as only a true bard can. 

He writes a song about it. 

Stregobor instantly becomes the most hated wizard on the entire continent, while Renfri is the Black Sun Princess, is remembered, is a model for little girls everywhere,. 

Stregobor, that caterpillar eyebrowed bastard, gets exactly what he deserves

From the infamous bard Jaskier, known most widely as the creative force behind the popular piece, “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher”, comes what is sure to be another classic: “Throw a Rock at That Wizard”.

“The road has got plen-tyyy…”

When the silver moon

Visited the sun

Like an old lover

They dallied as one

As their misty rays

Touched the earth below

Was born a princess

In their shadow

Skin fair as the day

Hair as dark as night

A darling young princess

A kingdom’s delight

Cross the dusty plain

Elbow deep in death

A nasty old wizard

With poisonous breath

Whispers to his fools

Tales of doom to come

Tells them to kill babes

Born neath the black sun

Throw a rockkk at that wizaaardd the road has got plentyy wooahh

Throw a rockk at that wizard, cuz he murdered RenfriiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE

Please tell your sister that she has a gift.

theotherguysride
(Your picture was not posted)

Witcher thoughts

via https://ift.tt/370DLAx

banrionceallach:

banrionceallach:

Imagine being Stregobor tho.

This witcher disrespected you and you taught him a lesson by destroying his reputation, saddling him with the title of butcher of blaviken for the rest of his life, ensuring that people will always look at him with disgust, hatred and fear.

And then some fucking bard from nowhere writes an absolute banger about him and you suddenly can’t go fucking anywhere without hearing ‘ohhh valley o’ plentyyy!’ somewhere in the background.

The witcher is now a legend, a sodding folk hero.

Just imagine

the pure

incoherent

fury.

Just imagine - Stregobor is at a party, there’s soothing music being played, he’s legitimately kinda having a good time.

And then someone plays that song. 

That song.

About that witcher.

And Stregobor fuckin snaps. He spins around to look at the fucker who is playing that song and it’s some stupid pretty-boy bard and gods-fucking-damn-it Stregobor’s gonna make him regret choosing to play that fucking song. 

(Side note: Pretty boy bard is singing that song suspiciously well. Almost as if he wrote it, in fact …)

He clenches his fist, ready to do some stealthy magic that will seriously ruin the bard’s day.

And then a heavy hand grips his shoulder from behind.

“Stregobor,” says a gravelly voice he hoped never to hear again. “Long time no see.”

And the witcher fucking grins at him.

“Do you like my song?”

theotherguysride sparklecryptid
(Your picture was not posted)

Okay, so sooner or later SOMEONE has to realize that the people in Fangs and Feathers Verse are rein

via https://ift.tt/31yGLmI

*slaps table* YES. Honestly I would LIKE to say that no one realizes they’re reincarnations but like- yeah no. Noctis, Crowe, Luna, and Ravus don’t actively hide it and Xanxus and Squalo outright FLAUNT it.

Ignis is totally the first to realize. Possibly even before Xanxus comes on the scene, which would make Xanxus the moment Ignis goes from “this is my private theory I won’t tell for fear of being made a fool of” to “oh yea I am TOTALLY right on this Noctis spill the beans”.

Ignis is also the only person who has any sense of chill over this, because he’s frankly far more used to Noctis-Tsuna’s … TSUNANESS than anyone else in the Citadel.

Regis and Co are FAR LESS CHILL. Like- they still love their kids, of course they do, but it IS a shock to realize that your kids remember a past life and then of course curiosity leads to questions, which leads to more horror because you were A WHAT. A MAFIA BOSS??? MY BBY WAS A MAFIA BOSS??

Titus meanwhile sits back and absorbs the knowledge that his nephew was the head of a murderous mafia assassination group known for their Murder Impulses that worked under Noctis and just goes “oh. Oh-ah. That explains … SO MUCH.” and then proceeds to have a minor Crisis because oh no his nephew was an assassin with parental trauma and he CAN’T KILL whoever did this to him because they’re probably already long DEAD.

Of course then Regis and Co figure out that Noctis has a LOT of lingering issues from his past life that feed into his utter lack of self-preservation and his too-easy forgiveness and the freak out shifts into aggressive mothering.
(Your picture was not posted)

notesoftruth:Hope things get better for you! rust-s

via https://ift.tt/31rDqpe

notesoftruth:

Hope things get better for you!

rust-slut:

Update 2-4 

197/500

rust-slut:

okay 3rd update: Just realized I can sorta check my updates through my email notifications even if I still can’t log on so I think I’m at 170/500

rust-slut:

Sup, so, my sister is going to give me her broken phone that I know is compatible with my sim card. It should work enough for me to access my money transfer accounts so hopefully that works out

rust-slut:

Hey I wanted to do an update or even like, check donations but venmo and cashapp won’t let me log in without my phone. And my phone is shut off. And also stepped on. The alternative is using the info to my debit card… which I don’t have anymore. Because my bank closed my account. So I’m tryna work all that out right now

rust-slut:

Hi my name is Joz and I had a rough year. I lost my job last year because the new kitchen manager didn’t like me, I ended up homeless and wandering the country for months until I broke down and tried to OD. I didn’t die, I got my place back, and I got a new job in content writing for ads. But I have bipolar II, severe ADHD, a really bad memory, (and maybe some brain damage) and between my executive dysfunction, attention problems and depression/mania i couldn’t keep it together, it was a poor fit for me.

Anyway I’m a terribly poor trash fire of a qpoc and I’m just trying to make rent for this month so i don’t end up homeless again. I just need 500 and then my tax return will cover me for march and that gives me time to job search. Please help and share if you can. Thank you!

Venmo - rustslut

Cashapp - $eraphofdusk

Also ill post updates. I haven’t asked for donations in years cause it makes me feel like shit, so i want to be extra transparent for my own comfort. I’ll cut this off when i hit my bare need for rent and bills
(Your picture was not posted)

jordisstigander: hoursgoneby: champagnemanagement: i need some...

via https://ift.tt/2tvPIAs

jordisstigander:

hoursgoneby:

champagnemanagement:

i need some victory today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some days you just need a velociraptor on your side.

“It might be nice, it might be nice,

To have a velociraptor on your side”
(Your picture was not posted)