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May. 18th, 2018
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theotherguysride:
sparklecryptid:
*snicker* Mental image of Ace living out that wonderful cliche - the one where someone demands a character disarm themselves, only for them to pull out weapon after weapon after WEAPON out of seemingly no-where. (Cor: Join the Crownsguard. Ace: No.)
You know that Ace would have an obscene amount of weapons on him.
…Now I’m just seeing Ace aiding the Glaives or Crownsguard with something and being taken to the Citadel to give a report in person and just this is the Citadel, he has to disarm.
No one excepts him to have that many weapons but he does. Nyx et al are trying not to Laugh, Drautos and Cor are kinda impressed actually and by the time Ace is done there is a pile of various weapons on the table.
Cor: Is that all?
Ace: Unless you count me as a weapon? Yeah.
@hamelin-born
The knives were a given. The pistols too, though clearly they were holdout weapons. The boot knives weren’t a surprise, but the three small charges, the handful of shuriken, and the ankle full of detcord were….excessive. Then the wire comes out from the braid, the belt comes off (it’s got a knife in the buckle and garotte wire down the side seams), the jacket comes off too, full of throwing things. The REAL clincher though?
A smile, a wiggle, and a fucking sword comes out from the back of his shirt, hidden in the fall of his hair, which had to come down because his hairpin is actually titanium and basilisk venom.
Nyx probably volunteers to strip-search him.
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theotherguysride:
sparklecryptid:
*snicker* Mental image of Ace living out that wonderful cliche - the one where someone demands a character disarm themselves, only for them to pull out weapon after weapon after WEAPON out of seemingly no-where. (Cor: Join the Crownsguard. Ace: No.)
You know that Ace would have an obscene amount of weapons on him.
…Now I’m just seeing Ace aiding the Glaives or Crownsguard with something and being taken to the Citadel to give a report in person and just this is the Citadel, he has to disarm.
No one excepts him to have that many weapons but he does. Nyx et al are trying not to Laugh, Drautos and Cor are kinda impressed actually and by the time Ace is done there is a pile of various weapons on the table.
Cor: Is that all?
Ace: Unless you count me as a weapon? Yeah.
@hamelin-born
The knives were a given. The pistols too, though clearly they were holdout weapons. The boot knives weren’t a surprise, but the three small charges, the handful of shuriken, and the ankle full of detcord were….excessive. Then the wire comes out from the braid, the belt comes off (it’s got a knife in the buckle and garotte wire down the side seams), the jacket comes off too, full of throwing things. The REAL clincher though?
A smile, a wiggle, and a fucking sword comes out from the back of his shirt, hidden in the fall of his hair, which had to come down because his hairpin is actually titanium and basilisk venom.
Nyx probably volunteers to strip-search him.
(Your picture was not posted)
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“A monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.”
- Ocean Vuong, from “A Letter To My Mother That She Will Never Read”, published in The New Yorker (via mesogeios)
@sparklecryptid
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“A monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.”
- Ocean Vuong, from “A Letter To My Mother That She Will Never Read”, published in The New Yorker (via mesogeios)
@sparklecryptid
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“
If you are a monster, stand up.
If you are a monster, a trickster, a fiend,
If you’ve built a steam-powered wishing machine
If you have a secret, a dark past, a scheme,
If you kidnap maidens or dabble in dreams
Come stand by me.
If you have been broken, stand up.
If you have been broken, abandoned, alone
If you have been starving, a creature of bone
If you live in a tower, a dungeon, a throne
If you weep for wanting, to be held, to be known,
Come stand by me.
If you are a savage, stand up.
If you are a witch, a dark queen, a black knight,
If you are a mummer, a pixie, a sprite,
If you are a pirate, a tomcat, a wright,
If you swear by the moon and you fight the hard fight,
Come stand by me.
If you are a devil, stand up.
If you are a villain, a madman, a beast,
If you are a strowler, a prowler, a priest,
If you are a dragon come sit at our feast,
For we all have stripes, and we all have horns,
We all have scales, tails, manes, claws and thorns
And here in the dark is where new worlds are born.
Come stand by me.
”
- A Monstrous Manifesto, by Catherynne M. Valente (via justaguywitharrows)
@sparklecryptid
(Your picture was not posted)
“
If you are a monster, stand up.
If you are a monster, a trickster, a fiend,
If you’ve built a steam-powered wishing machine
If you have a secret, a dark past, a scheme,
If you kidnap maidens or dabble in dreams
Come stand by me.
If you have been broken, stand up.
If you have been broken, abandoned, alone
If you have been starving, a creature of bone
If you live in a tower, a dungeon, a throne
If you weep for wanting, to be held, to be known,
Come stand by me.
If you are a savage, stand up.
If you are a witch, a dark queen, a black knight,
If you are a mummer, a pixie, a sprite,
If you are a pirate, a tomcat, a wright,
If you swear by the moon and you fight the hard fight,
Come stand by me.
If you are a devil, stand up.
If you are a villain, a madman, a beast,
If you are a strowler, a prowler, a priest,
If you are a dragon come sit at our feast,
For we all have stripes, and we all have horns,
We all have scales, tails, manes, claws and thorns
And here in the dark is where new worlds are born.
Come stand by me.
”
- A Monstrous Manifesto, by Catherynne M. Valente (via justaguywitharrows)
@sparklecryptid
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greenekangaroo:
pretty much every demon/monster/nightmare creature you were ever afraid of becomes -10 scary if you imagine them doing laundry in a laundromat on a sunday morning, cursing at the change machine and using the little detergent packets they sell because he/she/it/they forgot their detergent bottle back at the lair/cave/fortress.
@sparklecryptid
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greenekangaroo:
pretty much every demon/monster/nightmare creature you were ever afraid of becomes -10 scary if you imagine them doing laundry in a laundromat on a sunday morning, cursing at the change machine and using the little detergent packets they sell because he/she/it/they forgot their detergent bottle back at the lair/cave/fortress.
@sparklecryptid
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“You’ll understand why storms are named after people.”
- Caitlyn Siehl (via quotemadness)
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“You’ll understand why storms are named after people.”
- Caitlyn Siehl (via quotemadness)
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“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”
- Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems
(via wordsnquotes)
(Your picture was not posted)
“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”
- Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems
(via wordsnquotes)
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“When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.”
- Literary Sexts by Caitlyn Siehl (via wellconstructedsentences)
@sparklecryptid
(Your picture was not posted)
“When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.”
- Literary Sexts by Caitlyn Siehl (via wellconstructedsentences)
@sparklecryptid
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ourgraciousqueen:
To be a king and wear a crown is a thing more glorious to them that see it than it is pleasant to them that bear it.
Happy Birthday @autcaesars
@sparklecryptid @theotherguysride
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ourgraciousqueen:
To be a king and wear a crown is a thing more glorious to them that see it than it is pleasant to them that bear it.
Happy Birthday @autcaesars
@sparklecryptid @theotherguysride
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slythersthetic:
Slytherin Aesthetics:: Darkness
@sparklecryptid
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slythersthetic:
Slytherin Aesthetics:: Darkness
@sparklecryptid
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serpensort1a:
Ambition is not a dirty word. Piss on compromise. Go for the throat.
Steven Erikson
[background image]
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serpensort1a:
Ambition is not a dirty word. Piss on compromise. Go for the throat.
Steven Erikson
[background image]
(Your picture was not posted)
Slytherin house.
May. 18th, 2018 03:47 pmvia https://ift.tt/2LdzDTV
it-started-over-drarry:
One thing I absolutely cannot forgive J.K. Rowling for is how Slytherins were treated in the end. Not one Slytherin was given the benefit of the doubt. I’ll always think the scene where Professor Mcgonagall sends the entire Slytherin house away should have gone differently.
We deserved better. Slytherin deserved that chance of redemption. But no, apparently Pansy Parkinson is the Slytherin spokesperson.
How brilliant would it have been? To have a group of Slytherins stand still and say “No, we’re not moving, we’re fighting as well. This is our school too.” and have Minerva look at them sympathetically, asking “Do you know who you’ll be fighting against?” ‘possibly your relatives’ left hanging in the air. The group of Slytherins nod fiercely and join the battle.
Give me scared Slytherins that know they have to do the right thing. Give me Slytherins jumping infront of Harry when he’s running the corridors to shield him. Give me Slytherins buying their classmates more time. Give me Slytherins shakily, but bravely raising their wands and attacking.
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it-started-over-drarry:
One thing I absolutely cannot forgive J.K. Rowling for is how Slytherins were treated in the end. Not one Slytherin was given the benefit of the doubt. I’ll always think the scene where Professor Mcgonagall sends the entire Slytherin house away should have gone differently.
We deserved better. Slytherin deserved that chance of redemption. But no, apparently Pansy Parkinson is the Slytherin spokesperson.
How brilliant would it have been? To have a group of Slytherins stand still and say “No, we’re not moving, we’re fighting as well. This is our school too.” and have Minerva look at them sympathetically, asking “Do you know who you’ll be fighting against?” ‘possibly your relatives’ left hanging in the air. The group of Slytherins nod fiercely and join the battle.
Give me scared Slytherins that know they have to do the right thing. Give me Slytherins jumping infront of Harry when he’s running the corridors to shield him. Give me Slytherins buying their classmates more time. Give me Slytherins shakily, but bravely raising their wands and attacking.
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thebibliosphere:
I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:
“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”
I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.
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thebibliosphere:
I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:
“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”
I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.
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The thing is Jean would though. Jean would follow his father to the end of the world and beyond should he be able to. Jean loves his father, loves him because he was the first person to show Jean love and that means everything.
Gentiana: Then damned you shall be, for your hubris. For placing him above the wellbeing of others.
Jean: So be it.
(Your picture was not posted)
The thing is Jean would though. Jean would follow his father to the end of the world and beyond should he be able to. Jean loves his father, loves him because he was the first person to show Jean love and that means everything.
Gentiana: Then damned you shall be, for your hubris. For placing him above the wellbeing of others.
Jean: So be it.
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neiljostv:
disney posters. alice in wonderland (1951)
“i’m mad. you’re mad.“ “how do you know i’m mad?” said alice. “you must be,” said the cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
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neiljostv:
disney posters. alice in wonderland (1951)
“i’m mad. you’re mad.“ “how do you know i’m mad?” said alice. “you must be,” said the cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
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medievalistaa:
”What does not destroy me, makes me strong.” - John Milton
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medievalistaa:
”What does not destroy me, makes me strong.” - John Milton
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writing-prompt-s:
grotty-boi:
thequantumwritings:
thequantumqueer:
lovelyada:
dovewithscales:
studioprey:
writing-prompt-s:
Death offers a game for your life. You decide on D&D.
“I assume you’ve never played?” I asked.The cloaked figure across from me shook their head slowly.“Great,” I said. “I’ll be the DM. I’ll walk you through everything. First, character creation.”Six hours later Death sat leaned over the table with a mountain dew in one hand and a D20 in the other. Their hood was thrown back to reveal a bleached grinning skull.We were in the company of four infernals from the depths of the Abyss. I don’t remember which of us invited each of them. Turned out we had quite a few friends in common.They rolled a one.“Oohh, tough luck,” I said with a smile.“Fuck. This is the best time I’ve had in centuries, but I really should get back to work,” they said reluctantly.“Yeah…” One of the demons agreed. “I actually have a meeting with some senators in like an hour.”“Same time next week?” Death asked.“I’ll be here,” I agreed.I suspected they knew before we started that this was a game that didn’t have to have an end and didn’t have a winner.
Just a little random inspiration.
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ultimate_game.png
For those who don’t know, this xkcd strip was done as a memorial when Gary Gygax died.
They came back the next week, and the week after that. After a month of weekly sessions, Death pulled me aside.
“Hey,” he muttered, shuffling his skeletal feet a bit and rubbing his arm. “I don’t want to be That Guy, but this game does have an end, right? I’m having a blast, but this is still technically work for me, and I have to file reports, especially with all the loopholes I had to pull on to get a multi-session game approved in the first place.”
“Oh, yeah, for sure!” I told him. “There’s lots of ways for it to end. “Your characters could all die, we could finish the story we’re telling together, or our group could even just stop playing.”
Satisfied, he took his place at the table, but for months thereafter, he would cock his head at me every time I ended a session with excitement to play again. All I could do was shrug.
The weeks turned into months, turned into years, and Death stopped his reminders that our game, like everything else in the world, would eventually have to die. He told me, once, that he was determined to see this through to the end because my absurdly long game would make for a good story, but I think he had grown attached to his gnome cleric. Her magic was from the Life domain, and his grin always seemed just a touch wider every time he healed someone.
Half a decade after we began, my players were as seasoned as their level 20 characters, and I was running out of curveballs that would challenge them, so I wrote an end to the campaign. I spent months on it, carefully tying up every loose plot thread I could think of and giving all five members of the party the best resolution I could muster. Three of them got married to each other.
There were tears flowing from every eye that wasn’t an empty socket as I narrated their proverbial rides into the sunset, before finally I folded my screen, looked at each of them in turn, and said “The end. Death, you can take my soul now.”
He froze, and the demons around the table turned as one to stare at him.
Then, slowly, he cocked his head the same way he used to. “But you won,” he said. “The object of the game is to tell a story with your friends, and you did.”
“But so did you!” I cried. “And everyone knows that when Death wins a game, he gets your soul.”
Death’s grin spread wider than it ever had when he saved someone’s life in-game. “Didn’t you just finish pouring it into a game that you shared with me?”
@dariacore-xendes read the entire thing please 💕💕
Wow, this is amazing!
(Your picture was not posted)
writing-prompt-s:
grotty-boi:
thequantumwritings:
thequantumqueer:
lovelyada:
dovewithscales:
studioprey:
writing-prompt-s:
Death offers a game for your life. You decide on D&D.
“I assume you’ve never played?” I asked.The cloaked figure across from me shook their head slowly.“Great,” I said. “I’ll be the DM. I’ll walk you through everything. First, character creation.”Six hours later Death sat leaned over the table with a mountain dew in one hand and a D20 in the other. Their hood was thrown back to reveal a bleached grinning skull.We were in the company of four infernals from the depths of the Abyss. I don’t remember which of us invited each of them. Turned out we had quite a few friends in common.They rolled a one.“Oohh, tough luck,” I said with a smile.“Fuck. This is the best time I’ve had in centuries, but I really should get back to work,” they said reluctantly.“Yeah…” One of the demons agreed. “I actually have a meeting with some senators in like an hour.”“Same time next week?” Death asked.“I’ll be here,” I agreed.I suspected they knew before we started that this was a game that didn’t have to have an end and didn’t have a winner.
Just a little random inspiration.
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ultimate_game.png
For those who don’t know, this xkcd strip was done as a memorial when Gary Gygax died.
They came back the next week, and the week after that. After a month of weekly sessions, Death pulled me aside.
“Hey,” he muttered, shuffling his skeletal feet a bit and rubbing his arm. “I don’t want to be That Guy, but this game does have an end, right? I’m having a blast, but this is still technically work for me, and I have to file reports, especially with all the loopholes I had to pull on to get a multi-session game approved in the first place.”
“Oh, yeah, for sure!” I told him. “There’s lots of ways for it to end. “Your characters could all die, we could finish the story we’re telling together, or our group could even just stop playing.”
Satisfied, he took his place at the table, but for months thereafter, he would cock his head at me every time I ended a session with excitement to play again. All I could do was shrug.
The weeks turned into months, turned into years, and Death stopped his reminders that our game, like everything else in the world, would eventually have to die. He told me, once, that he was determined to see this through to the end because my absurdly long game would make for a good story, but I think he had grown attached to his gnome cleric. Her magic was from the Life domain, and his grin always seemed just a touch wider every time he healed someone.
Half a decade after we began, my players were as seasoned as their level 20 characters, and I was running out of curveballs that would challenge them, so I wrote an end to the campaign. I spent months on it, carefully tying up every loose plot thread I could think of and giving all five members of the party the best resolution I could muster. Three of them got married to each other.
There were tears flowing from every eye that wasn’t an empty socket as I narrated their proverbial rides into the sunset, before finally I folded my screen, looked at each of them in turn, and said “The end. Death, you can take my soul now.”
He froze, and the demons around the table turned as one to stare at him.
Then, slowly, he cocked his head the same way he used to. “But you won,” he said. “The object of the game is to tell a story with your friends, and you did.”
“But so did you!” I cried. “And everyone knows that when Death wins a game, he gets your soul.”
Death’s grin spread wider than it ever had when he saved someone’s life in-game. “Didn’t you just finish pouring it into a game that you shared with me?”
@dariacore-xendes read the entire thing please 💕💕
Wow, this is amazing!
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anastasiuuuuhhhhhhh:
rosezemlya:
See, this, I think, is what I love about Kronk. On the shallowest surface level, he fills the “low IQ sidekick” role. But ONLY on the shallowest surface level.
I’d have to watch the movie again to go into any detail, but Kronk is actually the smartest damn person IN this movie. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, he’s got all this specialized knowledge, dude is probably horrifically well read. He’s NOT stupid, he’s just eager to please and doesn’t have a proper “No” threshhold.
In the second gif, he’s like - “No, wait, I’m not who you think I am.”
Then in the fourth, he’s like - “Oh my God, the cook is gone and she’s got all these orders. If somebody doesn’t cook that up people are going to get upset! They’ll take it out on this poor woman who’s been on her feet all day and doesn’t deserve their wrath! And…oh my God…PEOPLE WILL BE HUNGRY!”
Then in the sixth gif he’s like - “NOT ON KRONK’S WATCH!”
He’s doing the right thing and he knows it. No judgement, no condescension, just always a moment to register the task at hand, determine the most logical course of action to completing it, and then it’s GO GO GO.
His only problem is that he never stops to ask himself whether this is actually his problem to solve, or whether people are taking advantage of him, and I love him for it.
I just…love him.
Kronk is the best hands down.
(Your picture was not posted)
anastasiuuuuhhhhhhh:
rosezemlya:
See, this, I think, is what I love about Kronk. On the shallowest surface level, he fills the “low IQ sidekick” role. But ONLY on the shallowest surface level.
I’d have to watch the movie again to go into any detail, but Kronk is actually the smartest damn person IN this movie. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, he’s got all this specialized knowledge, dude is probably horrifically well read. He’s NOT stupid, he’s just eager to please and doesn’t have a proper “No” threshhold.
In the second gif, he’s like - “No, wait, I’m not who you think I am.”
Then in the fourth, he’s like - “Oh my God, the cook is gone and she’s got all these orders. If somebody doesn’t cook that up people are going to get upset! They’ll take it out on this poor woman who’s been on her feet all day and doesn’t deserve their wrath! And…oh my God…PEOPLE WILL BE HUNGRY!”
Then in the sixth gif he’s like - “NOT ON KRONK’S WATCH!”
He’s doing the right thing and he knows it. No judgement, no condescension, just always a moment to register the task at hand, determine the most logical course of action to completing it, and then it’s GO GO GO.
His only problem is that he never stops to ask himself whether this is actually his problem to solve, or whether people are taking advantage of him, and I love him for it.
I just…love him.
Kronk is the best hands down.
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dangerous-fork:
aceofintroversion:
fluffyflareon:
ayellowbirds:
hoediac:
the-monochrome-jester:
glitterysquidily:
canidteeth:
waywardfangir1:
iwillregretthistommorrow:
pickled-watermelons:
cyanbabe:
sharky-sharks:
Why do you like sharks?
he walk
He cronch
He roll
She give high fin. @lilragekitten
He gets tummy rubs
He get nose rub
He beauty
He dance
She do a triple Lutz
He slorp
This post is blessed
He boop
(Your picture was not posted)
dangerous-fork:
aceofintroversion:
fluffyflareon:
ayellowbirds:
hoediac:
the-monochrome-jester:
glitterysquidily:
canidteeth:
waywardfangir1:
iwillregretthistommorrow:
pickled-watermelons:
cyanbabe:
sharky-sharks:
Why do you like sharks?
he walk
He cronch
He roll
She give high fin. @lilragekitten
He gets tummy rubs
He get nose rub
He beauty
He dance
She do a triple Lutz
He slorp
This post is blessed
He boop
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sosuperawesome:
Braiding by Alison Valsamis, on Instagram
Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram
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sosuperawesome:
Braiding by Alison Valsamis, on Instagram
Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram
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melifair:
toboldlywrite:
ask-frostiron:
Person: Your writing is so good!
Me:
You have been visited by the Thor of Positivity™! Take pride in your work and be confident in it! It may not be perfect but he knows you are working very hard and pouring your passion into it and therefore it is a Good Thing.
THE THOR OF POSITIVITY SHALL NOW AND FOREVER MORE BE THE BEST THING EVER
(Your picture was not posted)
melifair:
toboldlywrite:
ask-frostiron:
Person: Your writing is so good!
Me:
You have been visited by the Thor of Positivity™! Take pride in your work and be confident in it! It may not be perfect but he knows you are working very hard and pouring your passion into it and therefore it is a Good Thing.
THE THOR OF POSITIVITY SHALL NOW AND FOREVER MORE BE THE BEST THING EVER
(Your picture was not posted)
via https://ift.tt/2IwSAiP
danielle-mertina:
standinthefire:
blackfemalescientist:
fun-ta-mental:
miaadamswhat:
spoonmeb:
cypheroftyr:
kevlarsunshine:
tarkinducken:
help-i-am-actually-solas:
classe:
anticipatedrepudiation:
tooth-and-nails:
Your boss is not your friend. Your boss is not someone you can trust. Your relationship with your boss needs to be entirely professional.
Do not do your boss favours. No working for free. No doing unreasonable duties. No working outside the hours you state as available.
Do not say anything to your boss. About anything. Keep it work related. They will only use personal information against you.
Know your rights. Know the laws. Your boss will come at you trying to get you to quit like its a favour to you. Its usually because they can’t legally fire you.
Be wary around your coworkers. Some will have no problem passing things along to your boss. Such as your mental health or financial standing
Never offer to pay for anything lost, stolen or broken. Especially if money is missing from the till.
Demand safe working conditions.
Your boss is only there to exploit your labour for profit. Unfortunately you need that labour to sustain yourself. Just be careful.
Your boss will likely act buddy/buddy with you. Let them. But don’t reciprocate. They tell you how they got wasted and are super hungover at work? You tell them how you wish you weren’t such a boring person who goes to bed at 10p every night. They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.
super mega important: “They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.”
o_0
Sitting here reading this and I just…
My boss shares pictures of her grandkids– sometimes even has the grandkids in the store, lol, and if you stop to play with the kid for a few minutes that’s okay, unless they are actively calling for help on the floor. My boss helps customers on the salesfloor– though she doesn’t carry scissors or know how to use the cash register. My boss gets excited about my cosplay projects and excitedly shares her own projects with us– she dressed as Molly Weasley for comic con, got her husband to dress as Arthur. My boss took a quilting class at the store recently and excitedly showed me the first row she had put together.
I realize this post is targeted at people in lowest common denominator jobs, but… no. It’s not universal. I work at a store where my boss actually sees her employees like family.
Please if you are reading this, remember that not all jobs are like this. Sometimes people are actually not horrible.
Buddy I’m happy for you but I too had a boss who considered me part of the family and treated me with respect and kindness and compassion and he fired my ass with no notice the day after he found out I was queer
There’s not a damn thing wrong with not trusting your boss as far as you can throw them
One of the most important pieces of workplace advice I’ve ever heard was that “we’re like family here/we treat employees like family” inevitably translates into “we have a total lack of healthy boundaries and unreasonable expectations as to what you will do for us without compensation, and will likely act personally offended and possibly retaliate if you push back to assert your own space and life.”
This advice is relevant across all job classes, levels etc. Lemme tell you about the terrible fucking boss I had who pulled that we’re all family shit on me and when I tried to enforce some boundaries, harassed me until I had to take FMLA leave.
I was traumatized from how that fucker treated me when I went to a different school, to the point where I expected to be berated and fired for the tiniest mistake.
Fuck this trusting your boss bullshit, like ever. Something about being in charge changes people, usually for the worst
No but this is legit. My new boss thinks he is the coolest, friendliest most likeable guy. When I was temping he was going on and on about how his company was like a family environment all this shit. The day I was hired full time I told him I had family vacation coming up in 2 months and he suggested I cancel it. I’m looking at this dude who was talking out the side of his mouth about family and then he is BUGGING about giving me a few days to see my family. I knew if I caved he would have really just let me cancel my vacation so I didn’t budge and he gave me the days off. Fast forward to this week and he hands out a new company policy that literally says we arent allowed to speak to each other during work hours unless everyone in earshot is on a scheduled break. do you know how crazy that is? human beings talk to each other. then I find out that my coworker never got maternity leave. she was in labor doing the fucking payroll and this guy legit just saw it as her being loyal.
YOUR BOSS IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!
Please remember that if they fuck up they will blame you. Always be prepared. Your boss is not your friend!
Got rear ended by a grabage truck after being called in early when I got out of the hospital my boss reemed me out because she had to work my shifts while I was in the hospital. Among other shitty things like demanding I remeber store protocol even thought I suffered a concussion in my accident. (And was working in a neck brace)
Even if your boss has the best of intentions, they can’t be your friend. Its their job to be primarily concerned about the business, and given the way capitalism works, the businesses interests are unlikely to be aligned with yours. Plus the boss has power over you and there will be times when they have to assert that power. You can be friendly with your boss (ask about their weekend, kids etc) but they will never have your best interests at heart.
you know the thing that i find weird about this is: you could all be bosses. someday. do you truly believe that this is inevitably how you would also treat your employees?
I am a boss right now. I own a small business and have part-time employees. I have the best of intentions with how I interact with them and how I compensate them for their work. But business is business and it isn’t a family. I wouldn’t trust any boss that purports that. It is about profit.
With my business, I try to be fair in communicating my expectations, fair in how much I pay them, fair in not intruding upon their holidays (I ask them all to tell me when there’s blocks of time that they’ll be unavailable for any reason). But it isn’t a family and if somebody stopped performing how I need them to perform I would let them go because at that point they’re a liability to me and the people who entrust us by hiring us. That is just how it goes.
When bosses try to claim “we’re family” they’re trying to break down boundaries that will only help the business - not the worker. “We’re family” leads to “do this unpaid labor” and “sacrifice time with your actual family and friends for my benefit.”
(Your picture was not posted)
danielle-mertina:
standinthefire:
blackfemalescientist:
fun-ta-mental:
miaadamswhat:
spoonmeb:
cypheroftyr:
kevlarsunshine:
tarkinducken:
help-i-am-actually-solas:
classe:
anticipatedrepudiation:
tooth-and-nails:
Your boss is not your friend. Your boss is not someone you can trust. Your relationship with your boss needs to be entirely professional.
Do not do your boss favours. No working for free. No doing unreasonable duties. No working outside the hours you state as available.
Do not say anything to your boss. About anything. Keep it work related. They will only use personal information against you.
Know your rights. Know the laws. Your boss will come at you trying to get you to quit like its a favour to you. Its usually because they can’t legally fire you.
Be wary around your coworkers. Some will have no problem passing things along to your boss. Such as your mental health or financial standing
Never offer to pay for anything lost, stolen or broken. Especially if money is missing from the till.
Demand safe working conditions.
Your boss is only there to exploit your labour for profit. Unfortunately you need that labour to sustain yourself. Just be careful.
Your boss will likely act buddy/buddy with you. Let them. But don’t reciprocate. They tell you how they got wasted and are super hungover at work? You tell them how you wish you weren’t such a boring person who goes to bed at 10p every night. They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.
super mega important: “They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.”
o_0
Sitting here reading this and I just…
My boss shares pictures of her grandkids– sometimes even has the grandkids in the store, lol, and if you stop to play with the kid for a few minutes that’s okay, unless they are actively calling for help on the floor. My boss helps customers on the salesfloor– though she doesn’t carry scissors or know how to use the cash register. My boss gets excited about my cosplay projects and excitedly shares her own projects with us– she dressed as Molly Weasley for comic con, got her husband to dress as Arthur. My boss took a quilting class at the store recently and excitedly showed me the first row she had put together.
I realize this post is targeted at people in lowest common denominator jobs, but… no. It’s not universal. I work at a store where my boss actually sees her employees like family.
Please if you are reading this, remember that not all jobs are like this. Sometimes people are actually not horrible.
Buddy I’m happy for you but I too had a boss who considered me part of the family and treated me with respect and kindness and compassion and he fired my ass with no notice the day after he found out I was queer
There’s not a damn thing wrong with not trusting your boss as far as you can throw them
One of the most important pieces of workplace advice I’ve ever heard was that “we’re like family here/we treat employees like family” inevitably translates into “we have a total lack of healthy boundaries and unreasonable expectations as to what you will do for us without compensation, and will likely act personally offended and possibly retaliate if you push back to assert your own space and life.”
This advice is relevant across all job classes, levels etc. Lemme tell you about the terrible fucking boss I had who pulled that we’re all family shit on me and when I tried to enforce some boundaries, harassed me until I had to take FMLA leave.
I was traumatized from how that fucker treated me when I went to a different school, to the point where I expected to be berated and fired for the tiniest mistake.
Fuck this trusting your boss bullshit, like ever. Something about being in charge changes people, usually for the worst
No but this is legit. My new boss thinks he is the coolest, friendliest most likeable guy. When I was temping he was going on and on about how his company was like a family environment all this shit. The day I was hired full time I told him I had family vacation coming up in 2 months and he suggested I cancel it. I’m looking at this dude who was talking out the side of his mouth about family and then he is BUGGING about giving me a few days to see my family. I knew if I caved he would have really just let me cancel my vacation so I didn’t budge and he gave me the days off. Fast forward to this week and he hands out a new company policy that literally says we arent allowed to speak to each other during work hours unless everyone in earshot is on a scheduled break. do you know how crazy that is? human beings talk to each other. then I find out that my coworker never got maternity leave. she was in labor doing the fucking payroll and this guy legit just saw it as her being loyal.
YOUR BOSS IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!
Please remember that if they fuck up they will blame you. Always be prepared. Your boss is not your friend!
Got rear ended by a grabage truck after being called in early when I got out of the hospital my boss reemed me out because she had to work my shifts while I was in the hospital. Among other shitty things like demanding I remeber store protocol even thought I suffered a concussion in my accident. (And was working in a neck brace)
Even if your boss has the best of intentions, they can’t be your friend. Its their job to be primarily concerned about the business, and given the way capitalism works, the businesses interests are unlikely to be aligned with yours. Plus the boss has power over you and there will be times when they have to assert that power. You can be friendly with your boss (ask about their weekend, kids etc) but they will never have your best interests at heart.
you know the thing that i find weird about this is: you could all be bosses. someday. do you truly believe that this is inevitably how you would also treat your employees?
I am a boss right now. I own a small business and have part-time employees. I have the best of intentions with how I interact with them and how I compensate them for their work. But business is business and it isn’t a family. I wouldn’t trust any boss that purports that. It is about profit.
With my business, I try to be fair in communicating my expectations, fair in how much I pay them, fair in not intruding upon their holidays (I ask them all to tell me when there’s blocks of time that they’ll be unavailable for any reason). But it isn’t a family and if somebody stopped performing how I need them to perform I would let them go because at that point they’re a liability to me and the people who entrust us by hiring us. That is just how it goes.
When bosses try to claim “we’re family” they’re trying to break down boundaries that will only help the business - not the worker. “We’re family” leads to “do this unpaid labor” and “sacrifice time with your actual family and friends for my benefit.”
(Your picture was not posted)
via https://ift.tt/2Lfm5HF
Oh. That painted such a gorgeous image in my mind. Jean laughing and dancing with daemons and Ardyn is in the shadows somewhere, watching his son enjoy himself and Ardyn can’t help but half-smile half-smirk because Jean is having fun and his laughter is infectious. The King of Light may be born and their end may be coming but for now-
For now they have this.
(Your picture was not posted)
Oh. That painted such a gorgeous image in my mind. Jean laughing and dancing with daemons and Ardyn is in the shadows somewhere, watching his son enjoy himself and Ardyn can’t help but half-smile half-smirk because Jean is having fun and his laughter is infectious. The King of Light may be born and their end may be coming but for now-
For now they have this.
(Your picture was not posted)