Jun. 1st, 2018

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maroon-asshole:

Wholesome FFXV Prompt

Good Ending au where Noctis and Ardyn wish to help in the kitchen, but instead of normal knives, they are chuckling while they use different giant swords from their armigers to cut veggies

#ffxv#good au#prompt#please#I wanna see this drawn tbh#Ardyn Izunis#ardyn lucis caelum#Noctis Lucis Caelum#Noctis#ardyn#0:

Ignis would kill them both.
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girlactionfigure:

Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott was a Torah prodigy whose cleverness and chutzpah saved thousands of Jews from annihilation by the Nazis.

Born in a Polish shtetl in 1897, Reuven was one of fifteen children. His family were Hasidic followers of the Ger Rebbe.

Reuven’s exceptional intellect was apparent at a young age. He was a gifted scholar of Talmud and Jewish scripture, so precocious that he was given rabbinic ordination when only 17 years old.

The Rebbe took a special liking to Reuven, and every Friday night Reuven sat next to the great man at his festive Sabbath gathering. Small in size - he stood only 5’1” - Reuven was known for his big brain, and big heart.

Reuven was selected by his community to represent them as the Jewish voice on the local provincial council. When the Polish president died in the 1920’s, young Reuven stood at the graveside with other clergy and delivered a eulogy on behalf of the Jews of Poland.

Although life seemed fairly good for Polish Jews at the time, the Ger Rebbe sensed that big trouble was coming. He urged his followers to get out of Poland and move to Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel), at that time British Mandate Palestine.

As the Rebbe’s right-hand man, Rabbi Reuven Kott threw himself into the mission of helping Jews leave Poland and return to their ancestral homeland.

The British had a quota system restricting the number of Jewish families they let in. Reuven took advantage of a bureaucratic loophole defining “family” as two parents and an undetermined number of offspring.

Reuven collected money and bribed Polish authorities to get blank birth certificates. He would then “create” new families, matching people up, changing names and identities as needed. Every “family" had at least a dozen children.

Reuven told those he helped that they must stick with their fake identity. Most people complied, but a few didn’t and were caught. Under threat of being sent back to Poland, somebody gave Reuven’s name to the authorities.

Reuven and his brother were on a train in Warsaw when three plain-clothes officers approached. After verifying his identity, they arrested Reuven for bribery and forgery and threw him in jail. As a pious Jew, Reuven couldn’t eat the non-kosher jail food, so every day his daughter brought him a kosher meal - a two hour journey each way.

After several long months, his brother finally got word that there was going to be a hearing in the case. He went to visit Reuven in jail, told him the news and asked which lawyer he wanted to hire.

Reuven scribbled something on a scrap of paper, folded it up and slipped it through the bars of his cell. Outside the jail, Reuven’s brother unfolded the note. He was shocked to read the contents: “Hire me the most anti-Semitic lawyer in Warsaw!“

Reuven’s family was baffled. With so many top-notch Jewish lawyers, why would he want an anti-Semite? Had his incarceration led to a mental breakdown? Reuven’s brother assured them that he was of sound mind, and he went to Warsaw and found an attorney notorious for his fierce hatred of Jews.

The day of the hearing arrived, and the courthouse was packed with hundreds of Hasids from Reuven’s community. Reuven was allowed only three minutes with his lawyer, and then the hearing began.

To everybody’s shock, Reuven’s lawyer stood up, made a brilliant argument, and got the case dismissed.

Back home in the shtetl, everybody wanted to know what Reuven had said to his lawyer in those three minutes. Reuven said his Talmud study had taught him that in a business deal, if you get three “Yes” answers, the deal will close.

He asked his lawyer three questions:
- You hate us Jews, don’t you?
- Do you want to see me rot and die in jail?
- Would you like all of us Jews gone from Poland?
The lawyer answered yes to all three questions. Reuven immediately shot back, “What good would it do if one measly Jew rots in jail? If you set me free, I can get all the Jews out of Poland!”

Reuven got what he wanted by blinding the lawyer with his own hate. He continued his work “creating” large families and helping them move to Palestine. The anti-Semitic attorney even helped him procure more blank birth certificates. People often asked Reuven when he would go to Eretz Yisrael. He said, “I’m like the captain of a sinking ship. It is my responsibility to get all the passengers out before I get in the lifeboat.”

Over the course of 20 years, Reuven helped tens of thousands of Jews escape Poland. Today, almost half a million descendants of those Polish Jews owe their lives to Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott.

Unfortunately, Reuven himself never made it to Israel. He was murdered at Auschwitz in 1942.

For proving that one small man in three short minutes can accomplish miracles beyond measure, we honor Rabbi Reuven Israel Kott as this week’s Thursday Hero at Accidental Talmudist.

This story was told to us by Reuven’s granddaughter, Ziporah Bank. She heard it from her mom - the daughter who brought kosher meals to Rabbi Kott in prison. 

Accidental Talmudist
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theotherguysride:

theotherguysride:

theotherguysride:

theotherguysride:

jabberwockypie:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

theotherguysride:

Hey all! So I’ve got good news and bad news.

The good news is that I have a job interview! I’m so stoked.
The bad news is that I’m going to have to overdraft my account to even GET THERE today. I have 4$ in my bank account and 2$ on my bus card. This week has been hard but good! I also have a much closer job interview tomorrow as well.

So that means that I need your help guys! I’m so close, I’m in the home stretch!

Donations have kept me going so far, and everyone has been so incredibly generous and kind. I love all of you for helping me out on this journey through school and life. I’ve been working my tail off to not disappoint anyone. Thank you to those who have signal boosted and most importantly, donated to this thing.

Donations accepted here:

paypal.me/theotherguysride

www.gofundme.com/megangoestocosmetologyschool

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR DONATING AND BEING SO DAMN AWESOME. Your support has saved my life.

If fifty people drop Jazzy a donation and mention my name, I’ll drop a short one-shot canon-divergent AOTC Star Wars AU on tumblr.

Hey, got donate so that Flamethrower posts fic and Jazzy can continue to be awesome!

EEEEEEE!

We’re up to seven donations! (I’m so damn humbled guys holy shit. If I DO get this many donations I WILL OPEN 24 HOURS OF PROMPT GOODNESS WHERE EACH PROMPT GETS MIN 500 WORDS!

Morning reblog! We’re at TWELVE individual donations guys! *hugs all of you*

I’m leaving for Job Interview number two. Wish me luck!

EVENING REBAGEL! Donations are up to 13! You guys continue to humble me and I’m just. Everyone who has donated: THANK YOU!

Hey guys! REsurrecting this one to see if we can get to fifty donations! This week has been ROUGH as SHIT but I’m hanging in there. I’m hoping for a job call back tomorrow but there’s no gurantees :( If y’all kick anything my way, I’m still doing a prompt day!
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Jean shows up with a scarf for Cor that Ardyn got custom made at some high-end boutique and a note detailing Niflheim’s newest troop movements. He hands both over and cheerfully begins talking about how everything is going.

They continue talking until Regis and Clarus gather themselves and Clarus asks an Important question.

“Cor,’ Clarus asks, “What did he mean by ‘Dad’.” If Clarus hasn’t been named uncle of Cor’s kid he will be Displeased.

“He meant what he said,” Cor says, “He’s my kid.”

Jean laughs. “Not biologically,” he reassures the other two, “Cor did marry my father, however, so that makes him Dad.”

“Oh yes,” Regis says, “The marriage we weren’t invited to.” He gives Cor a pointed look, Cor gives him a blank look back.

“Indeed,” Jean says, “Anyway, I should get going. There’s an art gallery opening that I’m supposed to cover tonight and I should start getting ready. See ya, Dad.”

“Before you go,” Regis says, “Perhaps you could come over for dinner some time? It would be an honor to get to know Cor’s son-in-law.”

“Oh, Your Majesty,” Jean says, eyes twinkling, “It would be an honor.”
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celero-loves-dragons:

y’all my friend is valid
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Click here to support Please help Gemma survive this June!:

lostindaydreams-gemz:

*PLEASE READ/SIGNAL BOOST*  Thursday, May 31st

*my last attempt to try and get help*

As many of you may or may not know, I’ve been struggling a lot these past few months and I have been trying very desperately to sort out my Universal Credit benefit, because due to my mental illnesses and my inability to do daily tasks without support I had to attend a WCA/Health Assessment(evidence) and my benefit has been sanctioned and reassessed due to it, causing me to struggle with my bill payments and to get groceries/household supplies with absolutely no income.

I was due to receive government aid a few days ago on May 28th, but my WCA case has not yet been looked at by the DWP (it was meant to be reviewed in April) and now won’t be until early June and my sanction is still ongoing which means that I now won’t receive any financial aid until hopefully mid - June(roughly 25th).  

With this being said, I have set my GoFundMe goal to £300 to try and get groceries and pay my outstanding bills and I also understand that everyone is struggling, but even just £1/$1/€1 makes such a difference and sharing definitely helps just as much a donations and nobody has to donate if they can’t or don’t want to, thank you.💖

PayPal • Cash.me or GoFundMe
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This Birth Control Was Recalled For An Error That Could Lead To Unwanted Pregnancy:

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

buzzfeed:

A nationwide recall has been issued for the birth control brand Taytulla due to a mistake that could lead to unintended pregnancies.

Parent company Allergan is recalling nearly 170,000 packs of the birth control that have been circulating since last August.

A normal 28-day pack of Taytulla contains 24 pink hormone pills followed by four maroon placebo pills that cause bleeding. But, in the packs being recalled, the placebo pills are at the beginning of the pack.

“As a result of this packaging error, oral contraceptive capsules, that are taken out of sequence, may place the user at risk for contraceptive failure and unintended pregnancy,” said a statement from Allergan.

“The reversing of the order may not be apparent to either new users or previous users of the product, increasing the likelihood of taking the capsules out of order.”

This recall is for Lot #5620706 and was issued on 29 May 2018.

If you have a Taytulla pack with this lot number stamped on it, call the office of the doctor that prescribed it to you and arrange to get a new pack.

If something bad happens to you because of this packaging error, you can report it to the FDA here.
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kuronekonokishidan:

peterslist:

sachertortes:

I really wish there was an option on those Customer Service Surveys that says specifically, “The representative I spoke to was lovely and helpful and deserves all of the raises but I think that you, as a corporation, should die in a fire.”

hey as somebody who works in one of those companies that sends out those surveys, never, NEVER mention how much you hate the company in them. just talk about the representative. then, go to the company’s social media page and blast your bad reviews there

those surveys decide our pay, they decide whether we get bonuses or not, they decide if we get to keep our jobs or not. i’ve read transcripts on surveys where it’s has been praising the representative but mentioned one bad thing about the company. that fell to the representative because they should have been enough to sway the customers opinion.

Also remember, most those surveys anything but a perfect score counts against them, even if it’s only one step from perfect.
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gomalemo:

Bee Wolf
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nymoxr:

Why should I apologize for the monster I’ve become?
Nobody has ever apologized for making me this way.

@sparklecryptid
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wireslide:

thecosmicjackalope:

snakesandkittens:

I picked up this trio of barnacles on the beach today because they reminded me of brass knuckles! May I present to you

barknuckles

Poseidon wants you safe and prepared for battle.

Poseidon looking out for us ladies.
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vampireapologist:

cyanideending:

cyanideending:

relevantlyrambling:

northisnotup:

vampireapologist:

admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

THAT is EXACTLY what Shakespeare would have wanted

I swear if this isn’t floating around on the internet I’m gonna cry

Oh buddy IT’S ABOUT TO BE. I am like, 98% sure this was my high school’s production and I’ve got photos and video clips like craaaazy…

Here are some fun additions… the Mechanicals were also based on the characters of The Breakfast Club (here I am below, eating an actual Captain Crunch and Pixie Stix sandwich on stage.)

…and the one on the longboard was actually our Puck - he rode it through the whole play in the background. Please note his “Forest Cafe” shirt… which we also had logos for on the cups.

…and we had both a flash mob at the end AND an interlude where myself and one of the other Fairies danced to “Sexy and I Know It” while we were cleaning up the tables at the cafe.

I will post more of this later. I have a DVD at my house and will endure cringing at myself to bring you some quality clips… there’s probably one of K eating the burrito before the start of the play, too.

@hullaballoons Here is more Ktown Lore for you 

@cupcakelirry 

Here ya go kids… all 2h20m. if you make it through the whole thing once, that’s probably more times than any of the cast watched this DVD. You can probably see why. Tbh if you watch this, I am sorry in advance.

Important notes:

- Chipotle burrito makes a cameo about 30 min in,

- the end has a flash mob and a “commercial” for the Forest Cafe, 

- unfortunately, the lunch scene where all the mechanicals whistle like the Breakfast Club got mostly cut for some reason?



@vampireapologist in case you have any interest in reliving this… at the very least you can prove to any doubters that there was, in fact, a Chipotle burrito onstage.

I cannot even fully conceptualize, much less put into words, how wild this chain of events has been.

I have dozens of posts going around that have broken 50,000 notes, and plenty that have broken 100,000.

On every single one of these posts, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of comments and tags calling me a liar and the story fake, but none so much as this post.

This post was my most doubted of all.

And you came in………

with a Two and a Half Hour Long video.

I’ll never forget this.

We have a bond forged in fire and spirit now.
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jumpingjacktrash:

blueandbluer:

voqurnen-jovein:

brilliantfantasticgeronimo:

this is a german fencing manual from the 1450 …

im not fluent in early new high german but im sure it translates to something like “finish your opponent by growing multiple tentacles”

@grankondspleasurepalace

>FATALITY<

now that your opponent has dropped his weapon, THE FUN BEGINS.
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safelov:

kardashiansfuckyeah:

reblog this or you’ll have bad luck for 44 days and 12 nights

i would reblog this with no threat why you gotta be like that
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akaluan:

hamelin-born replied to your post “How is it already June. How. I don’t get it.”

sing it

I have now had this same conversation with like five people, this is great, no one wants to believe it’s already June.

Do you think mass delusion can make it be Not June?

Do you think mass delusion can unmake the consensual hallucination that is time?

Because I would really like for time to just. Not be a thing for a while.
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Why can I see Regis trying to dig up information on this Uncle that Ace has and coming across Uncle A on emergency contact information for Ace and Cor, Clarus, and Regis all just stare at each other for a moment before Regis calls.

And is promptly introduced to Ardyn via phone.

It’s a mess.
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woolwearer:

notlostonanadventure:

Every month is knife month if you’re not a lil bitch

it sure fuckin is
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