rakasha | Entries tagged with religion

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wearethewitches:

okfinepanic:

tyrannosaurus-trainwreck:

marlynnofmany:

celticpyro:

adrunkencommissar:

tilthat:

TIL the bishop of Orlando is also bishop of the moon, due to a canon law that says “any newly discovered territory would fall under the bishopric from whence the discovering expedition departed.” His is therefore the largest Catholic diocese, at over 14,000,000 square miles.

via reddit.com

MOON BISHOP

M O O N B I S H O P

I am absolutely saving this information for a future book involving werewolves and/or vampires.

Does he, like, know he’s the moon bishop?

The current Bishop of Orlando doesn’t consider himself the moon bishop, but the first moon bishop was super into it to the point of fighting the Archbishop of Miami for jurisdiction and even brought it up to the pope

#florida
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fantasticmojo47:

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church: w h e r e a r e t h e b o n e s

lousonaroll:

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

sandersstudies:

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom
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assassinationtipsforladies:

toffeecape:

dayst-ooc:

weaselsblaugh:

queenwhiskey:

violetvappy:

queenwhiskey:

What food group is honey what the fuck is this stuff

Apparently its categorized as raw meat by the FDA, which is cursed information if I’ve ever seen it.

WHAT

I wonder if this is due to tax reasons (why tomatoes are taxonomically fruit, but legally vegetable) or religious reasons (why beavers are considered fish, for purposes of Lent).

“Beavers are considered fish, for purposes of Lent”

If I’m being honest here, I don’t know what to do with this information.

IIRC hippos are also catholically fish.

You know what, if you can take down a hippo you deserve to eat it during lent

fialleril
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error-404-fuck-not-found:

domina-honoribila:

prokopetz:

Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.

I woke up today with the phrase “spooky scary seraphim” in my head today, looks like we’re on the same wavelength.

i made a new christmas carol
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english-history-trip:

keepitcatholic:

tilthat:

TIL of Pope Celestine V, who did not wish to be elected pope. His only act was to pronounce that popes could abdicate, after which he abdicated.

via reddit.com

“The cardinals assembled at Perugia after the death of Pope Nicholas IV in April 1292. After more than two years, a consensus had still not been reached. Pietro, well known to the cardinals as a Benedictine hermit, sent the cardinals a letter warning them that divine vengeance would fall upon them if they did not quickly elect a pope. Latino Malabranca, the aged and ill dean of the College of Cardinals cried out, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I elect brother Pietro di Morrone.” The cardinals promptly ratified Malabranca’s desperate decision. When sent for, Pietro obstinately refused to accept the papacy, and even, as Petrarch says, tried to flee, until he was finally persuaded by a deputation of cardinals accompanied by the king of Naples and the pretender to the throne of Hungary.”

So much of the history of the papacy is just slapstick hilarious.
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tremorbond:

aaronsmithtumbler:

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam fashioned an axe, and he cut down the Tree of Knowledge. And God asked “Adam, what have you done?” And Adam said “I refuse to be complicit in my own temptation.”

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. So Adam picked the fruit of the tree and planted it in the ground. A few years later, another Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil grew from the place he had planted it, and Adam ate the fruit of that one.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. But the serpent told him this was lies, and that if he ate from the Tree of Knowledge he would not die, but would become as God. “How do you know?” asked Adam. “Have you eaten the fruit?” “Yes,” said the serpent. “I have tasted of it, yet I did not die.” So Adam ate the serpent.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam asked “The fruit of the Tree?” And God said “Yes, the fruit of the Tree”. So Adam picked the leaves of the Tree and made a delicious Good And Evil Salad.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. Adam desired to taste of the fruit, and he decided that if he was going to get in trouble for breaking a commandment he might as well go all out. So he waited until the tree was heavy with fruits, then binged on all of them in one sitting. And the Lord definitely cast him out of Eden - but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in every situation.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam obeyed the commandment, and instead he ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool. Then he saw his own nakedness, and found it unfashionable, so he made a snazzy jacket out of leaves and bark. And the Lord saw the jacket, and said “Adam, have you eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool?” And Adam said “You’re not my dad, you can’t tell me what to do.” And the Lord sent him forth from the garden, but Adam just said “Laaaaaaaaaame”.

“but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in any situation.” Which is not to say they *did* it, they just knew what they *should* do.
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keshetchai:

keshetchai:

best part of the seder i had was this moment:

R: Well, I really value Jewish tradition and ritual, but I’m an atheist.
Me: Good thing you don’t need to believe in G-d to have dinner.

actually this isn’t the real best part of my seder.

the BEST part of the seder was that the apartment next door was ALSO an airbnb who asked to borrow my cooking pot, since neither place had a stocked kitchen. I loaned it to them after we made matzah ball soup so that they could make fried chicken (after all, passover ended that night). They were holding a birthday party and needed to fry chicken for 24 people. I understood this was dire and also offered to feed people doing set up. They passed on that, and instead I just loaned them the pot.

So, when the seder was almost fully finished we decided that someone ought to drink the elijah cup. We also decided it would be brilliant to talk to our neighbors again, three cups of wine and many martinis later (I mean I didn’t drink that much, but uh, my guests did). So we knocked on the neighbor’s door and asked the girl who answered if she would drink it for us.

She was not the girl who had asked us earlier to borrow the pot, or the birthday girl, but she was game to listen to the request when she realized we had been the ones to loan the stock pot.

Anyways, I tried to explain awkwardly that we symbolically pour a cup of wine for a jewish prophet to drink, but like…obviously he doesn’t actually show up to drink it, and normally a parent drinks it while no one is looking, but we’re all adults and everyone is looking, so could you maybe drink it? (all prefaced with “This is like…a Jewish thing and explaining it is complicated BUT–)

she was like “ohhh, okay. …Wait, but you can’t watch while i drink then!” and i was like oh yeah, good point, and then she was like “will this fuck me up?” and I said “No, no, it’s barely wine.” (because it was manischewitz)

so like… maybe 5 of us were in the hallway and she was like “alright, cool. turn around.” and so we all turned around and that’s when she met elijah and handed him the cup and he drank it. then she announced it had been emptied and we all turned back around. after our neighbor said it tasted good and we all thanked her, we went back inside and finished the seder.

When I woke up this morning, the cooking pot had been returned to our apartment, along with a large glass bottle tucked inside.

And that’s the story of how elijah 100% definitely drank the wine at my seder and then gifted me tequila in return.
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captain-marner:

multifandomhoodies:

@fialleril
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jumpingjacktrash:

positive-memes:

I am not religious but this is sound advice!

i AM religious and this is my religion in a nutshell

@fialleril
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vaspider:

moiracolleenodell:

wtffundiefamilies:

hymnsofheresy:

mysticismmess:

frislander:

@mysticismmess @hymnsofheresy this is us right here, isn’t it?

I only spread minor trinitarian heresies 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

I mean…….those plot points aren’t even THAT heretical fjsbsbdhdhxhxj.

This Catholic approves.

@vaspider

*cackling*
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spiletta42:

ragnell:

danbensen:

exxos-von-steamboldt:

ralfmaximus:

moogloogle:

ralfmaximus:

tobaeus:

ralfmaximus:

nyxetoile:

antibutch:

thats a valid question

A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.

1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?

The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.

Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).

So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.

Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.

How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count.

Osnap what an excellent question.

Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.

4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.

Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.

@danbensen

Full Metal Eucharist

The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr

This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know.

@fialleril
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pastel-patton123:

aquilacalvitium:

geekinite:

neyzilla:

postalofficepunk:

lezly-odair:

How I feel about religion. God should be presented as what he is, love and kindness. Stop using his name to justify your racism, homophobia and sexism

I’m not religious, but this comic is flipping adorable.

this is how I wanna think god would actually be.

This comic is atheist approved in the area of cuteness

Yup

Plus it’s be a good representation of most monotheistic religions!!
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Well, according to Ezekiel 1 they might look something like this…

According to Daniel 10 something like this…

According to Isaiah 6…

In Ezekiel 10…

Again in Ezekiel 10…

Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else.
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tweakkkk:

start making treetop angels with thirty eyes and four wings and rows of sharp teeth the biblical literalists demand it
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via http://ift.tt/2hyKCeK:Pope Francis Hosts Feathered Serpent God As Part Of Deity Exchange Program:

smilingvagabond:

toteczious:

darthlenaplant:

puchittothelimit:

tlatollotl:

In an effort to strengthen their relationship and foster interfaith dialogue, Pope Francis reportedly welcomed the winged Mayan snake god Kukulkan to the Vatican this week as part of a month-long deity exchange program. “We are excited to have the War Serpent staying here with us for the next four weeks, during which time he’ll be exposed to the rituals and customs of the Catholic Church, so that when he returns home he can share the experience with his adherents in Chichén Itzá and the surrounding Yucután communities,” said Vatican spokesperson Greg Burke, noting that the pontiff had taken Kukulkan out for pizza on the first night of the exchange before showing him around some of Rome’s most famous landmarks. “Once Kukulkan gets settled in, the pope plans to let him answer some basic prayers on his own, as well as try performing a transubstantiation or two. And perhaps toward the end of his stay, if he’s feeling up to it, Kukulkan can treat us all to an authentic human sacrifice.” Vatican sources confirmed that as part of the exchange, God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, would be spending the next month with the Taoist thunder god Lei Gong in the cloud kingdom over Tibet.

lol

What the actual fuck

This is really cool but wtf

It’s still 2016, of course it pushes in all the weirdness it got.

@fire-miracle @the-stray-liger @deerveng @zabchan @book-of-life-fangirl

This is really something ‘the book of life’

@kanirou-crosshack