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But didn’t…

We didn’t need Satine nor her death for Kenobi Manpain™.

All they needed to do, to make him freak out (and Anakin, because that sort of horror isn’t something you’d expect from Jedi master…)

What if Stewjon was a Separatist planet? Like “FUCK YOU REPUBLIC WE DON’T CARE WE’rE SIDING WITH SITHS WE HATE YOUR COLONIALISTIC SHIT AND WE’RE DONE” level of separatist.

And who does the kriffing council send to “make Stewjon see the warm safety of Republic’s embrace with the help of countless batalions”?


(I hope you don’t mind but your post made me think of this. Marilla is named for Marilla of Green Gables, a hard-ass pragmatic farm lady with a heart of gold if there ever was one)

Padme had questioned it when she saw the name on the list of negotiators but had been reassured that Kenobi was a very common surname on Stewjon and that, well, even if there were any relation, it has been quite a long time ago.


Marilla Kenobi was of middling height, had ginger hair shot through with silver, carried herself like your favourite auntie come visiting and had an intelligence in her eyes that was brighter than any lightsaber Padme had ever seen.

There was no doubt in Padme’s mind that this was the woman who’d given birth to the Jedi standing right next to her.

Obi Wan, on the other hand, was trying very hard to maintain his composure. He had admitted to being grudgingly impressed by the legal briefs written by Stewjon’s Chief Counsellor but Stewjon did have certain strategic value and was a key agricultural producer for the sector.

While it was hoped their departure from the Republic could be prevented through negotiations, Stewjon was too important to be allowed to leave under any circumstances.

Obi Wan had been sent because, well, he was the Negotiator.

Padme had been concerned about these talks but she hadn’t been worried.

Until now.

Obi Wan’s struggle was only apparent if you really knew him, which Padme did.

And while she did not know Marilla, she was well versed enough in her son’s habits to know that the Chief Counselor had known immediately who the Jedi sitting across from her was. And had made up her mind that her son’s presence on the other side of the table did not matter, her people’s freedom was too important.

Padme was suddenly unsure which Kenobi to put her money on.

Yes - yes! And if this ended up in disaster… Not all batalions are commanded by Jedi, they’re stretched thin and many are led by regular officers…

The negotiations fail. Obi-Wan doesn’t know who gave the command to attack. It doesn’t matter anymore. He has to go there again and present them the terms of surrender.

“You have Stewjonian name, Kenobi. You won’t be received as a threat.”

(He isn’t. To them he’s a traitor.)

(The whole affair is a painful drag.)

Marilla’s character sounds like someone who could give birth to our sassmaster. Although I usually go with faux-japanese sounding names for Obi-Wan’s ethnic group, with certain customs surrounding the meanings of their names. Just to make it more painful, when he learns that Wan is a name one usually gives to the firstborn. And he never knew that because he never lived in that culture.


The Campaign for Stewjon becomes it’s own arc.
Obi Wan has never been so conflicted. Anakin has to be the voice of comfort and/or reason. Ahsoka gets captured and is brought to Marilla and cannot bring herself to sass Master Kenobi’s Mother (much)
then Dooku shows up to ‘defend’ the planet and Marilla is even less impressed with him than she is with the whatever Jedi they sent to head the campaign (since they’d almost never begin the campaign with Obi Wan in charge but when things start not going the Republic’s way, they have to send in The Team)
Marilla is captured and ordered to be brought before the Senate for trial or something.
Marilla roasts the Senate over an open fire and actually starts winning people over which is when the assassination attempts start
so eventually we get Obi Wan and Marilla fighting side-by-side when sekrit Stewjonian agents show up.
Obi Wan has a little sister. She’s a good shot and wants her mom back. Immediately.
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Director of the new Obi-Wan movie: *dials Ewan’s number*
*call connects*
Director: Hi, I’m-
Director: Uh-
*door smashes in*
Ewan: *brandishing a lightsaber he nicked off the set of ROTS* THIS WEAPON IS MY LIFE-

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Man, do I ever love Star Wars, and especially Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Can you IMAGINE what the fandom will be like if this movie goes through? When we have new promotional material, new story material, and new footage to make gifs of?  Sure, we reblog thirty Obi-Wan gifsets in a row, but there’s a limited amount of material to work with, and I’m just thinking about the first time we may get a Kenobi movie trailer released and how we’re all going to lose our minds and there’s going to be NEW OBI-WAN GIFS THAT EVERYONE’S GOING TO REBLOG.
And, look.  Look.  I suffer a lot in this fandom.  I deserve to have this.  I deserve to have Obi-Wan Kenobi wall-to-wall on my dash for two days straight.  WE DESERVE THIS.

PEOPLE YOU KNOW @gffa and I deserve this, OK??? 😄Let us have this thing to cry about.


And also, I don’t have a job and I kind of need this, Lucasfilms, okay?
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Another lesbian Sith Obi-Wan, but this time more realistic and traditional, because Lord knows a consistent drawing style just isn’t what I’m into! 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ
For her namesake @lesbiankenobi and also @imaginaryanon because, let’s be real, Wicked Thing is what got me drawing all this SW art in the first place, and boy has it just continued to escalate. Dog bless you both.

As a purveyor of Lady Obi-Wans (sadly none of the Sith Variety inspite of Darth Arulas’s best attempts) I heartily approve of this!

@deadcatwithaflamethrower @darthrevaan @morgynleri
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Anakin’s Force Ghost: [appearing in front of Kylo Ren] Kylo: Wh – grandfa– it’s – Anakin: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! HMM? Do you know what this has done to me? And your uncle? [getting in his face] AND YOUR MOTHER?! And then there’s what you did to – Kylo: …what? [sizes Anakin up] Oh, I see. So you’ve become a traitor in your afterlife. How…disappointing. I guess I really will have to finish what you started. Anakin: [stammering, furious] Tra-TRAITOR?! ME? [rolls up sleeves] OK, that’s it, I know I SAID I was done kicking people’s asses but this is – Obi-Wan: [holding up a hand] Perhaps I can be of assistance here. [to Kylo] May we talk? Ben to, uh, Ben?Anakin: Obi-Wan please, we’ve been through this, you’re not going to be able to convince him to – Kylo: [smirking] Well well well, look who’s here. Grandpa brought his Jedi boyfriend.Obi-Wan: I just wanted to say that I think…I think you should stay on the Dark Side, really. Anakin: WHAT?! Obi-Wan: Now hear me out, Anakin: it’s not like the young man has many people who even especially want him back on the light side, really, save for his mother perhaps. His uncle’s mostly given up on the Jedi…Kylo: Pfft. Obi-Wan: …and I’m sure he has plenty of close friends here in the First Order who’d fight to keep him here, making our job that much harder. [Hux walks by, smacks Kylo in the head with a notebook]Hux: [over his shoulder] Fuck you, Ren! Kylo: [rolls eyes] Whatever. Obi-Wan: …and it’s not like you or I want to talk to him, Anakin, so really, we may as well just give up – this is the best path for all concerned. [speaking deliberately] Really, if he showed up on the light side again I’d be furious at this point, given all he’s done. It would be far too much work for me. Kylo: [warily] Oh, really? You’d be furious. Obi-Wan: Yes. It would be awful to have to deal with rehabilitating yet another Skywalker. I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, absolutely do not think you should turn back to the Light Side. In fact, as a Jedi Master I…forbid you from turning back to the Light Side. Anakin: [pulling Obi-Wan aside, whispering harshly] Obi-Wan what in the absolute Sith hells are you do – Kylo: [sarcastic laugh] You think…you think YOU can tell ME what to do, old man? I don’t have to listen to you! If I wanna wear this cool black cape, I will! If I wanna give myself a badass Darksider name, then I will! And if I wanna go back to the light side, well, then you’ll just have to live with that too, Kenobi. Anakin: [jaw drops]Obi-Wan: [mildly] Well I am only a ghost now, so I suppose I would have to accept it, even though it would be terribly insubordinate of you and I would be very upset indeed. Kylo: [grabbing his stuff] I’ll show you, Kenobi. I’ll SHOW YOU. You’re not in charge of me! [to Anakin] Let’s go find my mom. Anakin: [agape] I…Obi-Wan: [cracks knuckles] Very well then. [sotto voce] Should have tried that one sooner. 

(You know that Kylo probably figures out that he’s been had halfway back to Leia’s place, but they came so close to pulling it off. Kenobi’s just going to have to be slightly more subtle next time.) ;) 

*sniffles* Aww, thanks! 

Honestly, if Lucasfilm never wants to do anything with the Force Ghosts (which would be a damn shame but hey it’s their Star Wars and they can break my heart if they want to,) I’d be totally down for writing the non-canon Force Ghost cartoon series for them. Y’know. LOOK ME UP, NERDS. 

I volunteer to work for free in the Writers’ Room! I’ll even bring snacks and drinks! Please please please pleaseeeeeee???
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​what if satine and obi’s kid is born during tcw and obi wan knows about him

he’s not going to just leave the order immediately bc anakin and the war, but suddenly he shows up with tiny lil two yr old bb kryze-kenobi, bc satine is in a Situation and somehow obi’s life is the Safer Environment for a child atm

the 212th is just like ???? general. no pressure but did you finally hit your head Too Hard. but they just go with it until anakin comes back and is like obi wan what the fuck are you doing with a toddler on a starfighter.

bb-wan refers to obi-wan as his father once and everything stops moving. cody drops a datapad. waxer and boil drop their helmets and blasters. anakin drops ahsoka and the ten clones he was force lifting. and obi wan is like oh he calls everyone his dad haha must be some madalorian quirk anyways i think i sense general grievous nearby in the force chop chop let’s go smash some droids

does bb wan end up with an entire battalion of dads, or does he end up with two entire battalions of dads? the answer is yes.

i am so here for obi finding out about his secret kid and being so!!!!!! and reevaluating EVERYTHING bc suddenly he has a CHILD and he is 100% attached ™ to this lil thing and fuck master yoda bc there is somehow even LESS of a pull to the dark side now, even when there was almost nothing before

We can’t have obi nonsense without hondo ohnaka popping up for no reason!! hondo kidnaps bb wan sometime during this period. well, less ‘kidnaps’ and more ‘gets followed by a tiny waddling kid who is probably genetically inclined to want to deal with space pirates at a young age, and who is also genetically inclined to be capable of sneaking onto a ship without getting caught’

obi wan is Distraught but then he gets there to find bb wan chilling on a pile of gold, possibly trying to break one with his teeth bc he thinks there’s chocolate inside. hondo’s just like ahh, Kenobi! your offspring has good instincts, it stopped trying to eat my men as soon as it had some gold! obi wan is. 1. Worried, because that is his child. 2. Offended, bc that is his CHILD. 3. Proud, bc his baby is already using his mouth to get out of Sticky Situations, albeit in a somewhat more violent way.

waxer and boil are Fascinated. cody is Stressed. anakin is Taking Notes On Childrearing at terrifying speeds.
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I want art for an AU where Vader finds Old Man Ben on Tatooine before ANH, and everyone expects Obi-Wan to fight Vader, and Obi-Wan means to do his duty, really he does, it’s just that he’s missed Anakin so much that as soon as he sees Vader in that horrible suit he immediately drops his lightsaber and throws his arms around Vader’s neck and hugs the shit out of him instead.

tl;dr: Old Man Ben hugging Vader, it’s all I can think about

(And Old Ben thinks he’s taking this chance, this impossible chance, to do this, just once, before Vader kills him, because he never showed Anakin when he should have, this is the least he can do for whatever’s left –

Fortunately, the whole thing confuses Vader so much that he doesn’t kill Obi-Wan and *handwave in a plot* and so they overthrow the Emperor and start a new, better Jedi Order together HAPPY ENDINGS FOR EVERYONE the end)
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@deadcatwithaflamethrower @norcumi @dogmatix @morgynleri @darthrevaan
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Ahhhhh I have had a partial reply started for days about this topic!! I am perfectly good with either flavor of this AU of the Pirate Kenobi AU because both are making me laugh. 

Honestly, Anakin is not ready for any of this, either way. He’s going to be so in over his head, since Anakin’s been living in the Suit and being a Bad Guy with Sheev for a zillion years. He is like the LEAST READY anyone in the entire universe has ever been for Good Guy Rapscallion Pirate Kenobi turning on the charm ray. 

I almost feel bad for the guy, except that he’s totally going to get to make out with Pirate Obi-Wan, so it’s hard to scrounge up THAT much sympathy. LOL
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Here he is in all his glory, guys: Accidental Space Pirate Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I hold each and every one of you personally responsible: @bodirooks @resistancepilots @albaparthenicevelut @fireflyfish @writegowrite @forcearama @bloodlyshiva
Shame on you for encouraging me!! ;)

AMAZING!! I dunno what my favorite part is?? The tiny braid in his swooshy hair. (And the lil bit of grey!!) The gaping tunic. The CLOAK. The half circles symbol on his remaining armor. The definitely non-regulation blaster and the Thigh Holster. Gosh.

This is truly the Obi Wan who accidentally liberated Tatooine from the Hutts. This is truly the Obi Wan who someone gifted a Moon (I mean. Look at him. I too, would give him the moon). This is truly the Obi Wan who is also secretly the Duke of Mandalore and has accidentally started accruing his own empire. Hondo Onaka is Ecstatic.


Listen. He does the one soresu stance. You know the one.
Except this time, instead of two fingers, there’s this ridiculous non-regulation uncivilized blaster. Mostly sentients are smart enough not to stay and fight, though a lot of them swoon and it’s a bit of a problem, really. Obi Wan wouldn’t just leave someone unconscious in the desert like that, so now they have to be taken care of. With plenty of fluids and the occasional smelling salt, naturally.

Guys… theoretically… if I were to draw a comic-book cover of the imaginary ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi: Accidental Space Pirate’ issue 1… which character/s would be on the cover with him??

Part of me is thinking Jabba’s palace on fire in the distance…


Dear Lord in heaven I love all of these comments. And I am still 10,000% on board with Accidental Pirate Obi-Wan being gifted a moon. 

And yes, @jerseytigermoth, he is totally running from some kind of burning building/explosion in this comic cover. 

I do love the idea of Ahsoka being part of his pirate crew. Or a tiny, sassy little Luke Skywalker who’s been brought into the fold. Obviously Hondo would be a strong contender for inclusion here, too. He is LOVING Obi-Wan’s pirate years.  

Vader is going to faint when he lays eyes on pirate Obi-Wan. The Empire does not stand a chance. 

@darthrevaan @norcumi @dogmatix @deadcatwithaflamethrower
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- Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith 


Rey Kenobi, anyone? …although I must now admit that I have the mental image of ghost!Anakin looking on from the afterlife and face-palming…
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“Join me, Anakin”

@deadcatwithaflamethrower @norcumi @darthrevaan @dogmatix
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this was basically me, coming up with this fic. ben just wants the entire galaxy to fuck the fuck off. He has no patience for literally anything, his entire world are baby luke and leia, who adore their Nobi, and are really good at playing ‘hide and seek’. 

the council reacting to the idea that fucking OBI-WAN KENOBI has gone off the rails and is obviously super fucking attached to these two kids, SKYWALKER’S KIDS

padme and anakin silently screaming because apparently those are their children??????? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

obi-wan kenobi silently screaming because suddenly his attachment to anakin is blatantly on display for anyone to scrutinize (sorry buddy everyone else can see it, you’re the only one you’re fooling anyway)

the only reason the council even becomes aware of Ben Kenobi is because Ben makes a splash, he can’t even help it??? plus two tiny REALLY FORCE-STRONG BABIES

the jedi: let us have the babies, kenobi

ben: ??? how about you go fuck yourself, you let all the younglings die :\
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Here’s more of that shit nobody asked for, lol. Obikin. I think their height difference is cute.

@lectorel Couldn’t help but think of feral Vaderkin.
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another sith!AU for your consideration:

  Sidious tries for a long time to nudge and persuade Anakin to Fall, but he’s not having any success, and he’s getting frustrated. So he takes a step back and asks himself: What could cause Skywalker to Fall? The demise of his mother wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, and sending him visions of Padme’s death hasn’t had the effect Sidious was hoping for, so who else in Anakin’s life could be used to manipulate him toward the Dark Side?

  Then he’s got it. Aha! Of course Obi-Wan is the logical alternative. And the man may appear to be a saint on the outside, but Palpatine knew him as a reckless, angry teenager, a Padawan not as far from Anakin’s temperament as he would like everyone to believe.

Keep reading


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