Welcome to Gotham. Part 1?
Aug. 22nd, 2017 07:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rakashavia http://ift.tt/2vkJjmp:
hellsbellssinclub:
Note to self: Never listen to Welcome to Night Vale while reading Batman Comics. You will get fic ideas and you will not be able to get rid of them.
I hope I didn’t make it seem like I was ripping off the podcast too much. Please enjoy. I may or may not write more and am very much open for ideas.
The radio spits and hiss static before a calm and soothing Voice echoes from the speakers.
“An angst filled city where the skyscrapers reach to the sky. The smog is thick. And where we all choke on the desperation of hopes and dreams while people in capes fly over us at night; Welcome to Gotham.”
A soft piano is played for several moments. It is both haunting and beautiful and for some reason you are reminded of your grandmother. Even though your grandmother never had a piano.
“Hello Listeners. I have been asked to start off this show with a message from the Gotham Community College Council. The message is the following:
‘You may have noticed that there is an out of place classroom in building 3E that has a door plaque that says ‘Art in real life’. If you see the classroom please do not enter it. The College Council is eight-four percent sure that it is a portal to another dimension and would like to remind everyone that accidently entering another dimension and not returning for several weeks is not a good reason for absences nor for missing any tests. So please, leave that classroom alone. The matter being investigated.’
And now for the news. The eight-car pile-up down by the GCPD has been cleared away. Commissioner Gordon has released a statement saying that no one was seriously harmed and the pile-up was with mostly parked cars with no one in them. GCPD has arrested the persons who caused the crash but has not released any details as to why the crash happened. Traffic in the area will now resume its normal, slug like pace in the coming hour.
A new vigilante has appeared on Gotham’s Cape Scene this month. Who is he and what does he want? Is he a vigilante? Or is he a rogue pretending to be a vigilante? He wears a red helmet that in certain lights looks like the head of a male genitalia and a very nice leather jacket. Unlike most of the Cape Scene in Gotham, this young man uses an excessive number of guns and bullets and has a habit of killing people. So far, the young man in question has taken out several drug rings and has made himself the Crime Overlord of Crime Alley.
A rather strange goal if you ask me. But hey, whatever floats your boat Mr. Overlord. Whatever floats your boat. There has been no word on the street as of yet if or when Batman will have his confrontation with the young man, that sources say is called The Red Hood, but keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to duck and cover if you see either of them! No one likes to be hit by a stray Batarang after all. Or a bullet for that matter.
In more exciting news, The Riddler was defeated today by an eight-year-old girl named Suzie. Little Suzie is an avid fan of puns, riddles and crossword puzzles and was one of the many school children who were taken hostage at the museum yesterday while on a school field trip. Before any of the Bats managed to even break into the building, little Suzie not only completed all of the puzzles that The Riddler had left, she also threw a several thousand-dollar statue at the rogue’s head, knocking him out.
Nightwing spent at least five minutes crying with laughter at the sight of little Suzie standing over The Riddler’s unconscious body in triumph. Robin was the one who had to cuff The Riddler seeing as Nightwing was incapacitated by his own laughter. Bruce Wayne, the owner of the statue used to knock out The Riddler, has congratulated Suzie on her puzzle solving skills and good aim. The billionaire has replaced the statue with another one from his collection and has not asked for payment from anyone for the destruction of the last one. What a great guy.
Let’s have a moment to talk about safety for a moment. In the last few weeks there have been many sightings of what appears to be Ninjas. But since they look very obvious and Ninja like, this presenter is slightly hesitant to call them that. I mean, what kind of Ninja advertises that they are a Ninja? I thought the whole idea of being a Ninja was to not be seen or noticed?
Anyway. Safety. It is not a good not safe idea to heckle, curse out or attack these strange Ninja people. They have been proven to be armed and dangerous and are more than willing to leave you upside down on a light post if you annoy them. So far there have been no deaths from these strange Ninjas but it would be best to avoid them just in case.
And now, the weather:”
Instead of the weather you hear a song about waiting for a bus in the rain. You are extremely confused and have a very bad feeling that this song is going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the week.
“Welcome back listeners.
One of the newest trends for the Gotham Twitter threads has been ‘I’mtellingbatman’. And it has been a hit. While it is completely unfounded whether or not Batman actually reads these tweets, they are extremely funny and amusing to read. For instance, this one is from R33ne_Moyt who said: Nightwing has been sitting on my roof petting my cat for the last 10min. plz give her back. #i’mtellingbatman. #ineedtofeedher. And here is another one from 59oiler that said: Robin fell asleep eating a chilidog and is now covered in it XD. #i’mtellingbatman #plzletthisboysleep.
I have to say, if you have twitter and the time I would suggest you check it out. It will surely brighten your day.
Gotham City Mayoral Council has released a new statement today about the upcoming election. The Statement released explains that the new laws saying that you cannot run for mayor if you have committed serious offences or have been a part of any major gang such as Black Mask’s or Joker’s is in no way discriminatory. It is rather a precaution to ensure that they person whom is chosen for Mayor is not a figure head for any gang leader or rogue or that they are no planning to take over the city and rule as a dictator. Gotham City has strict laws on dictatorship and with having certified insane people ruling and or governing the city.
Our time is coming to an end listeners. Coming up next is the relaxing hour of sweet and soft songs from the local worshipers of the Green. Thank you, listeners. And Goodnight.”
The Voice is gone. And all that is left is static once more. You are left wondering how you came across this station in the first place.
@blackkatmagic
hellsbellssinclub:
Note to self: Never listen to Welcome to Night Vale while reading Batman Comics. You will get fic ideas and you will not be able to get rid of them.
I hope I didn’t make it seem like I was ripping off the podcast too much. Please enjoy. I may or may not write more and am very much open for ideas.
The radio spits and hiss static before a calm and soothing Voice echoes from the speakers.
“An angst filled city where the skyscrapers reach to the sky. The smog is thick. And where we all choke on the desperation of hopes and dreams while people in capes fly over us at night; Welcome to Gotham.”
A soft piano is played for several moments. It is both haunting and beautiful and for some reason you are reminded of your grandmother. Even though your grandmother never had a piano.
“Hello Listeners. I have been asked to start off this show with a message from the Gotham Community College Council. The message is the following:
‘You may have noticed that there is an out of place classroom in building 3E that has a door plaque that says ‘Art in real life’. If you see the classroom please do not enter it. The College Council is eight-four percent sure that it is a portal to another dimension and would like to remind everyone that accidently entering another dimension and not returning for several weeks is not a good reason for absences nor for missing any tests. So please, leave that classroom alone. The matter being investigated.’
And now for the news. The eight-car pile-up down by the GCPD has been cleared away. Commissioner Gordon has released a statement saying that no one was seriously harmed and the pile-up was with mostly parked cars with no one in them. GCPD has arrested the persons who caused the crash but has not released any details as to why the crash happened. Traffic in the area will now resume its normal, slug like pace in the coming hour.
A new vigilante has appeared on Gotham’s Cape Scene this month. Who is he and what does he want? Is he a vigilante? Or is he a rogue pretending to be a vigilante? He wears a red helmet that in certain lights looks like the head of a male genitalia and a very nice leather jacket. Unlike most of the Cape Scene in Gotham, this young man uses an excessive number of guns and bullets and has a habit of killing people. So far, the young man in question has taken out several drug rings and has made himself the Crime Overlord of Crime Alley.
A rather strange goal if you ask me. But hey, whatever floats your boat Mr. Overlord. Whatever floats your boat. There has been no word on the street as of yet if or when Batman will have his confrontation with the young man, that sources say is called The Red Hood, but keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to duck and cover if you see either of them! No one likes to be hit by a stray Batarang after all. Or a bullet for that matter.
In more exciting news, The Riddler was defeated today by an eight-year-old girl named Suzie. Little Suzie is an avid fan of puns, riddles and crossword puzzles and was one of the many school children who were taken hostage at the museum yesterday while on a school field trip. Before any of the Bats managed to even break into the building, little Suzie not only completed all of the puzzles that The Riddler had left, she also threw a several thousand-dollar statue at the rogue’s head, knocking him out.
Nightwing spent at least five minutes crying with laughter at the sight of little Suzie standing over The Riddler’s unconscious body in triumph. Robin was the one who had to cuff The Riddler seeing as Nightwing was incapacitated by his own laughter. Bruce Wayne, the owner of the statue used to knock out The Riddler, has congratulated Suzie on her puzzle solving skills and good aim. The billionaire has replaced the statue with another one from his collection and has not asked for payment from anyone for the destruction of the last one. What a great guy.
Let’s have a moment to talk about safety for a moment. In the last few weeks there have been many sightings of what appears to be Ninjas. But since they look very obvious and Ninja like, this presenter is slightly hesitant to call them that. I mean, what kind of Ninja advertises that they are a Ninja? I thought the whole idea of being a Ninja was to not be seen or noticed?
Anyway. Safety. It is not a good not safe idea to heckle, curse out or attack these strange Ninja people. They have been proven to be armed and dangerous and are more than willing to leave you upside down on a light post if you annoy them. So far there have been no deaths from these strange Ninjas but it would be best to avoid them just in case.
And now, the weather:”
Instead of the weather you hear a song about waiting for a bus in the rain. You are extremely confused and have a very bad feeling that this song is going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the week.
“Welcome back listeners.
One of the newest trends for the Gotham Twitter threads has been ‘I’mtellingbatman’. And it has been a hit. While it is completely unfounded whether or not Batman actually reads these tweets, they are extremely funny and amusing to read. For instance, this one is from R33ne_Moyt who said: Nightwing has been sitting on my roof petting my cat for the last 10min. plz give her back. #i’mtellingbatman. #ineedtofeedher. And here is another one from 59oiler that said: Robin fell asleep eating a chilidog and is now covered in it XD. #i’mtellingbatman #plzletthisboysleep.
I have to say, if you have twitter and the time I would suggest you check it out. It will surely brighten your day.
Gotham City Mayoral Council has released a new statement today about the upcoming election. The Statement released explains that the new laws saying that you cannot run for mayor if you have committed serious offences or have been a part of any major gang such as Black Mask’s or Joker’s is in no way discriminatory. It is rather a precaution to ensure that they person whom is chosen for Mayor is not a figure head for any gang leader or rogue or that they are no planning to take over the city and rule as a dictator. Gotham City has strict laws on dictatorship and with having certified insane people ruling and or governing the city.
Our time is coming to an end listeners. Coming up next is the relaxing hour of sweet and soft songs from the local worshipers of the Green. Thank you, listeners. And Goodnight.”
The Voice is gone. And all that is left is static once more. You are left wondering how you came across this station in the first place.
@blackkatmagic
